Anesthesiology Residency (and Residency in general)- Advice for a newbie

[Lynnea]

My DW started a surgery residency but switched after the first year into an anaesthesia residency. She made the decision based in large part on long-term quality of life, and years later has no regrets. When she goes home, and is not on call, they all become someone else's patient. Residency can be stressful, but it doesn't last forever; for us that's now but a faded memory.

That's great. How long have you and your DW been together? What do you do for work? Did you feel like you were still able to make time for each other during residency? Any tips or tricks on how to make it through?
What is her work schedule now that she is past the training years?

[Windsurfer]

We met when we both started attending the same church; she was 3 years away from completing her anaesthesia residency. We started dating a year later and got married in 1991. During her last 4 months of residency we were working in separate cities and would meet every couple weeks at either end or in the middle. She actually appreciated being able to focus on preparing for the final oral exams without me around. For most of her career she has worked three days a week and typically gets home from work before I do. 24-hour call was fine before kids, a bit stressful at times with young kids as we tried to fit in my business trips and various nannies; now that the boys are teenagers we all kind of miss it when she is not around. She has taken on additional responsibilities in the last couple years and is now working to some extent every weekday and some early evenings. Even so most days she starts around 7am and is home around 4pm.

I work in the high-tech sector, most of it in the satellite equipment market, first as an electrical engineer and now in sales and business development.

Tips? It is important during residency to have some group you are part of together that doesn't focus on medicine; for us that was our church. For the spouse it also important to continue to develop your individual identity as well as that of the two of you as a couple. There will be some people who will sometimes treat you like less of a person because you are married to a VIP; it is important to have some pursuits and some friends who can assure you it isn't so.

Hang in there, it gets better even if it still takes a lot of work.