What to wear? Lunch with a group CEO and his wife

[alybell25]

Hello everyone! Would love to pick your brains for some fashion advice

My husband is in his 3rd and FINAL year of fellowship, and has begun interviewing for jobs. He has had very serious discussions with one particular group, and the CEO has invited my husband and I to have lunch with he and his wife while we are in town at the end of this month. I know that this is a very successful group, and my husband said that his first two interviews were fairly formal. Any suggestions as to what I should wear?? It will be at a nice restaurant in a decent sized city.

Some background on me: I love fashion, and usually lean towards a boho/hippie/California vibe. I obviously want to dress appropriately (I'm guessing a Free People mini dress and over the knee boots, a typical outfit for me, won't cut it haha! ). I guess I'm just nervous about making a good first impression, and given that I don't know much about the CEO or his wife, it is making me even more nervous! They are obviously older than we are, are they very conservative? I have no idea, so I want to play it safe! I also don't want to come across as trying too hard, so I thought a good place to start would be with those of you who have been through this process before! Dark jeans, nice blouse, and heels too casual? Daytime dress? Am I overthinking this!? I just think this is where my husband really wants to be and we are looking to settle for good in this area so I want everything to go well and it's making me so nervous!! Ahhhhhhh thank you in advance for humoring me

[scrub-jay]

What to wear? Lunch with a group CEO and his wife

So much of this is region-specific, can you paint a broad picture of where this is? For example, an east coast conservative lunch would be very different than the same interview in Northern CA or the PNW.,

[alybell25]

So much of this is region-specific, can you paint a broad picture of where this is? For example, an east coast conservative lunch would be very different than the same interview in Northern CA or the PNW.,

Good point! Northern California, but not the Bay Area, so probably a bit more conservative.

[MDPhDWife]

Last year when DH was interviewing for THE JOB, I too was stressing out on what to wear. I ended up going with mostly business casual stuff. My favorite go to was a black knee length dress with while polka dots. To add some color I wore open toed red heels, red earrings, and necklace.

Try not to stress too much about conversation. The conversation flowed pretty easily and casually at every place we interviewed. I know this is much easier said than done, but you'll see in hindsight it wasn't worth the stress.

[scrub-jay]

Good point! Northern California, but not the Bay Area, so probably a bit more conservative.

If you go north of the Bay Area, it gets wayyyyyy more casual.

[alybell25]

If you go north of the Bay Area, it gets wayyyyyy more casual.

Haha! I was born and raised north of the Bay Area, so I know it's definitely not as....fashion forward shall we say as San Francisco LOL. I guess by conservative I mean...not as urban of a crowd as a lunch in San Francisco would be if that makes sense?

[alybell25]

Last year when DH was interviewing for THE JOB, I too was stressing out on what to wear. I ended up going with mostly business casual stuff. My favorite go to was a black knee length dress with while polka dots. To add some color I wore open toed red heels, red earrings, and necklace.

Try not to stress too much about conversation. The conversation flowed pretty easily and casually at every place we interviewed. I know this is much easier said than done, but you'll see in hindsight it wasn't worth the stress.

Thanks so much for the insight!! I am nervous about conversation for sure...I guess I just feel like if these are people that are going to be in our lives for a long time I want to start out on the right foot! My husband did both residency and fellowship in the 2 largest cities in the country, very very urban and I have never really had to interact with his colleagues (in residency I'm not sure if I ever even met any of their spouses!)...which is unfortunate because I definitely would have loved to have more of a community feel but that just has not been the case (it doesn't make it easier when they are working in massive cities and people live all over the area, wherever they can afford really). And I think that this new group and area would definitely be more tight knit and involved and I have not yet experienced that as a medical spouse!

[scrub-jay]

Haha! I was born and raised north of the Bay Area, so I know it's definitely not as....fashion forward shall we say as San Francisco LOL. I guess by conservative I mean...not as urban of a crowd as a lunch in San Francisco would be if that makes sense?

Me too! Fashion forward? Buhahaha! I PM'd you, but sounds like we have similar backgrounds, so feel free to disregard my advice. A lunch in SF would be way different fashion-wise than a lunch anywhere north, well except for maybe Marin. Nice jeans & heels = dressed up, sundress/skirt (nothing too short) = probably perfect.

[MDPhDWife]

Thanks so much for the insight!! I am nervous about conversation for sure...I guess I just feel like if these are people that are going to be in our lives for a long time I want to start out on the right foot! My husband did both residency and fellowship in the 2 largest cities in the country, very very urban and I have never really had to interact with his colleagues (in residency I'm not sure if I ever even met any of their spouses!)...which is unfortunate because I definitely would have loved to have more of a community feel but that just has not been the case (it doesn't make it easier when they are working in massive cities and people live all over the area, wherever they can afford really). And I think that this new group and area would definitely be more tight knit and involved and I have not yet experienced that as a medical spouse!

I went into the interviews thinking the same thing as you. Interestingly enough, every job made a point to mention that while all the partners get along well, they don't really socialize together outside the office. A lot of them are in different stages of life so perhaps that's why, but it left me wondering if that is done intentionally to keep some boundaries. I'm curious if that's the case with others here. Maybe it's a private practice vs. academia thing. I hit it off so well with one of the wives at a job we turned down that I couldn't imagine NOT hanging out with her had we accepted the job. YMMV.

[spotty_dog]

LOL. When I went to an interview in Northern California, I had a toddler with me and the other people at the dinner with us kept jumping up to help me wrangle him running around the table and through the restaurant. Fun times! No clue what I wore, but for me that was one of the best parts of considering that location -- nobody gave a flying flip about fashion, that I could tell. Mmm, Carhartts and fleece. (Admittedly this was probably a MUCH more laidback specialty than whatever your husband is going into!)

[rufflesanddots]

Hmmm.... What about something like a midi skirt paired with a nice top and blazer? The midi skirt would solve the "tights or no tights" problem, the blazer could be removed if NorCal decides to stay extra warm through the end of the month, and you'd have a nice top on in case you ate inside and the restaurant was warm.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I'd probably play it safe and wear black slacks, solid color top, and either black cardigan or blazer. But I feel like I'm such a wild card wife I have to compensate by dressing extra conservatively.

[gcuthbe1]

Good luck with lunch that's so exciting! I support wearing a conservative business interview type outfit like you've said!

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[memyselfandI]

How exciting! I wouldn't wear jeans to something like that but a bus casual type outfit.

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[medpedspouse]

Thanks so much for the insight!! I am nervous about conversation for sure...I guess I just feel like if these are people that are going to be in our lives for a long time I want to start out on the right foot! My husband did both residency and fellowship in the 2 largest cities in the country, very very urban and I have never really had to interact with his colleagues (in residency I'm not sure if I ever even met any of their spouses!)...which is unfortunate because I definitely would have loved to have more of a community feel but that just has not been the case (it doesn't make it easier when they are working in massive cities and people live all over the area, wherever they can afford really). And I think that this new group and area would definitely be more tight knit and involved and I have not yet experienced that as a medical spouse!

Remember that YOU are interviewing them as well. . When interviewing for THE job WE were most impressed with the group that took the time to spend time with me as well. They encouraged me to ask questions and were open to answering MY questions about living/career opportunities in this new city. I wore business suits but I also wanted to be viewed as a professional.

I effing hated the group that separated us and had me hanging out with the wives (there were no male spouses). We lunched at the country club and they showed me the "desirable" places to buy a house, blah,blah,blah BLEH.