Our OHSU news!!!

We got our letter today!!!


But unfortunately it doesn't look like we're going to get in.

108 candidates were taken and 150 were put on a waiting list.
We're #127 on that waiting list.
That means that all 108 candidates have to say no and then 126 more have to say no before we would get in.


Bobby doesn't know yet. He's going to be devestated to find out. I'm heart broken and trying really hard not to cry. This is going to break his spirit - I just know it.


Any suggestions on what to do for him?

oh oh oh... i wish i could talk to you right now, even though i've never talked to you before and only know you from this (i just don't want you to be weirded out for my saying that).... i send you my wishes because i don't want you to be sad... i don't know how much my saying any of this helps, but when i read your post my heart fell. i've been checking on here like four times a day to see if you've posted with your news, and although my disappointment is probably irrelevant to you, i really wanted to see you get in. i'm stoked for you to get into any of your other choices, if you have any, and if not you'll be fine too. for him... tell him gently, of course, or just give him the letter, and then maybe just leave him alone for a while. later maybe he'll need hugs and snuggles... i know P is a big snuggler, and i don't know about bobby, but before that i know they sometimes just need to be let alone. disappointment is a bitter pill. i know you guys will be fine, and i hope to hear from you soon with news of what you guys are gonna do-- there are so many fine adventures to be had! you have, if he doesn't end up going somewhere else, a year of time together to figure out each other, what you're gonna do-- you can hike, make love, travel, save money, whatever. indulge. and let us hear more from you.

Gravity, the kindness in your post made me cry. Thank you. Your support means so much to even me just now.

Bobby is throwing pottery right now and I have to pick him up shortly. I'm going to wait until we get home and then give him the letter. I know he'll want to read it alone and then sit there quietly by himself for a while so I'm going to let him do that.

I plan on babying my baby for a while now. He's had this dream since he was six and I know that he's going to be upset.

Does the 127 mean that he's on the list of pure alternatives at 127 or does it mean that he's on the TOTAL list (after 108) at 127 (only 19 away from the "top"???

[BonBon]

I am so sorry to hear this news. On the positive side, it's not a "no", and you are still on the waiting lists at UofR and Drexel. Both would be very cool places to live, though I'm biased.

I've got my fingers crossed that the waiting list moves quickly and you guys get in! Would it help if he kept in contact with the admissions office and kept stressing that OHSU is his #1 choice?

Does the 127 mean that he's on the list of pure alternatives at 127 or does it mean that he's on the TOTAL list (after 108) at 127 (only 19 away from the "top"???

I'm really sorry to hear that he didn't get an acceptance letter.
I think it would be reasonable to call the admissions office and ask for clarification re: your question. They can really be helpful and sympathetic to your situation.
Keep in mind that not everyone that was accepted will go to OHSU and some people before him on the waitlist might get in at other places they prefer. Hard to say how far up the list that will move him.

My husband applied twice to medical school. It was really tough for him to not get in the first time around. I know this sounds corny, but things work out -- in that year that my DH re-applied, he was able to take advantage of some opportunities that really helped him get the residency position he wanted.

Let us know what you find out and we'll keep our fingers crossed!

[migirl]

Sorry to hear about your news too. I agree with Nellie, calling the school to clarify their waitlist policy may help.

If it helps, my DH also was not accepted to any med schools the first time around (he was waitlisted at a couple of places but didn't get in). BUT, he was able to work on making some changes and the second time around he ended up getting into a school he LOVED, was MUCH better than the schools he was hoping for the first time, and ended up really helping him get the residency he wanted. He was actually also waitlisted the second time, but he sent the school lots of letters showing them that he was definitely interested in attending. Maybe something like that would help you here?

Sometimes the whole med school acceptance thing seems like such a crap shoot. There are people who make it into med school who make no sense, and there are people who don't make it in who make no sense. My husband was waitlisted both years he applied, yet he graduated from med school with honors and is now a resident in a surgical subspecialty at a prestigious Midwestern hospital. 8O

Anyway, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you hear some good news from the other schools. Good luck.

I'm sorry to hear your news too.

My bf also didn't get into his first choice med school, which was extra disappointing since it was where he went for undergrad. But things worked out and he's very happy where he is.

Best of luck to you both.

Esther

It is hard news to take, I am sorry to hear it.

My wife was not accepted at her first choice when she first applied. She was however wait-listed at two other schools and then BOTH offered her a spot. It was, however, later in the summer when she finally got the news.

Keep your spirits up and it will all work out in the end!

[Auspicious]

FH also applied twice, albeit with almost a decade of other adventures in between in his case.

This is going to break his spirit - I just know it.

Nah, it won't because you won't let it.

I didn't know FH in his first application cycle, but I did the second time. It was intense and emotional, of course. Throughout the process, though, I was becoming increasingly concerned about the way he was talking about it--almost as though he was waiting for the admissions committees to tell him whether he was a worthwhile human being or not.

Finally, about halfway through the season--he'd gotten a few rejections, several waitlists, and several that hadn't yet responded, and he was angst-ing yet again over it (I think he used the word "loser" in there somewhere)--I had to have this . . . emphatic talk with him. I was like, "Look, you are not defined by whether or not you get in to med school! You act like you're waiting for these people to tell you whether or not you're going to be succesful in life, when you're already well into the process of being successful, whether it's at med school or something else. You've already come too far and done too much for anyone to say you're not having a good life. Of course you want to go to med school now, and I want that for you, too, but quit acting like it's the sum total of who you are--it's just what you're going to do with who you are." Yadda yadda yadda--I told him I wasn't going to love him any less if he didn't get into med school, but if he became a bitter shell of a human being because this thing didn't go his way . . . well, that wouldn't be in his best interest for a lot of reasons.

He was kind of sulky while I was ranting at him but by the end of the conversation he seemed pretty relieved. I think it was a turning point in how he viewed the whole thing. It's tough because it is a genuinely high-stakes situation, and it's exceedingly difficult to keep perspective under circumstances like that. To me that's one of the biggest pluses of having a signifcant other, though, is that you have someone to bring you back down to earth when you can't keep perspective yourself.

Good luck. It really is hard, but despite what the process leads you to believe, it's not everything.

[PrincessFiona]

What a disappointing turn of events. How did he take the news . We have a friend that got in off of the waitlist by contacting the admissions office each week to see where he was on the waiting list (ie what the movement was) and by sending regular CV updates.

You are still waiting for news from other schools, right? Don't lose hope....we're here for you!

kris

My DH was wait listed at his top choice. He called them several times, sent them postcards from different places in Europe as he was traveling, and had a few extra letters of recommendation sent in. He found out he got in at the end of July. I know someone else who got into med school three days before the program started. Don't loose faith!

Sorry to hear the news. My husband was wait listed as well, but they didn't tell him his number. Its probably better that way. He called like crazy and finally was accepted towards the end of the summer. Keep in mind lots of people will give up their spots because they got in somewhere else. Good luck, keep us posted.

I don't have much time but I wanted to let you guys know that I appreciate your words of kindness and support so very much.

Bobby was really upset last night but he's doing better today. He lit the envelope the letter came in on fire and I think that helped the pyromaniac.

I am still pretty downhearted about the whole thing but I know I'll shape up soon.

We're on three waiting lists and so hopefully we'll hear SOMETHING back before August!

Shella, thank you for your kind and knowledgeable post. I appreciate it more than my words can really explain. Bobby didn't learn his number on the waiting list at Rochester or Drexel but he is going to think about calling them. I think he'll probably call like crazy as the summer gets further into session. OHSU said that they'd keep him updaded on when numbers change so hopefully they're dilligent about it. Thank you for the luck!

Jillflower, thank you for offering your story and your words of advice to me. I'm a nervous Nellie and so hearing words that support my feelings and suggest alternatives is nice for me. I told Bobby about sending post cards and he laughed. I am going to buy him a set of Corvallis post cards and have him send them in. I won't lose faith that we'll get in, we are just sad that he didn't get into his #1 choice. Things will happen as they're supposed to though - I just keep reminding myself of that!

Kris, your second movie came out today. I've heard good things about it. I loved Shreck. On a different note, this was a disappointing turn of events but we are strong people and we will survive. Bobby was sad and frustrated but he is dealing with things now. I am going to keep reminding Bobby to call and check to see if he's moved up and hopefully he'll take my advice on that. We have heard from two other schools (Rochester and Drexel) and are on the wait list in both of those places. We're going to call them next week to see if they can't tell us where on the list we are.

Julie, this is Bobby's first time applying although he did take a year off to work and get some life experiences but we don't know that it was enough. We'll have to wait until August to tell. I didn't let the news break his spirit and I realized that he's not as fragile as I think he is. This whole process has been incredibly intense and emotional and I'm really sensitive so I think it's hitting ME harder that it's hitting him. Your story about talking your DH through things really hit home because I feel that Bobby thinks about medical school applications the same way. I think that if he keeps telling me that he's "okay" then I might have to have the same type of discussion with him. Thank you for the candid story and the suggestions!

gmdcblack, I think this is the hardest news that we've had to take just yet ... because we were so incredibly set on going to school there. Guess the whole "don't put all your eggs in one basket" thing really applies to some things in life. I'm sure that we'll hear back from the other two schools and I'll definately be letting you guys know what they say. Thanks for being here for an almost stranger! I really appreciate all the points of view!

Esther, first choices just suck sometimes. I think we got our hopes up so incredibly high that when things didn't work out the way that we wanted them to we were hurt more than we could have been. We are resiliant and both still young so things will work out the way that they are supposed to. I'll be patient and vent here when I need to ... because you guys are great to us nervous Nellies!

migirl, I called the school to have the waitlist policy verified and we are 127 on a list of 150 alternatives. It's hard to realize that because there are so many people ahead of us but we're going to keep our spirits up that people don't want to go there. Bobby knows that if he doesn't get in this time that he'll have a year to adjust and change things up a bit so that next time around he'll be even more competitive. It's just such a long process and incredibly expensive when the job market is so bad. I'm just being a pessimist here. Sorry. I told him about sending lots of letters in and I think he's okay with that idea and I'm going to help him compose some things. I think I'll even write OHSU a letter! Thanks for that suggestion!

NMH, thank you for your sympathy. Although it sucks to receive sympathy it's nice to know that there are others who have been through the same tough situations. As I told MIGIRL, I did have the list policy clarified and I was right in what I thought. The lady seemed frazzled on the phone and I'm sure it's because it's the day everyone got their letters and so I'm sure she's answered the same question 80,000 times! We're hoping that lots of people who were accepted decide not to go to OHSU (let the rain scare 'em away) and hopefully the waitlist will move fast and LOTS! I'll definately keep everyone around here updated on how that goes. I'm sure that things really WILL work out. I have faith in that. I also trust that the medical admissions committees really DO know what's best for their schools and right now we just aren't right. Soon we will be though!

Dagny, it wasn't a NO and we ARE still on those other waitlists so there are positives to look at. I spent the evening cuddling with Bobby and making sure that Bobby was feeling good. Thank you for reminding me that there are many things to think abou that can HELP this situation. Also thank you for keeping your fingers crossed about everything. I think that he will keep in contact with the admissions office and make sure that they know this is REALLY where he wants to go. We'll see if that has any pull for us!

Lunatic, Bobby was pretty upset but he could have been much more upset. I offered to go buy him his favorite beers but he just wanted to mope and watch SciFi - so I let him. We have no idea about where we are on our second and third choice school's waiting list so we're just going to have to wait patiently for their news! Thanks for reminding me that things work out the way that they're supposed to!

Once again I just want to stress that I appreciate the supportive words I've received on this forum this week. I am really glad that I stumbled across the site and hope that I'm here for a long while!

i feel really glad that i stumbled on this site too, because i've gotten to read what you have to say-- all of you are an inspiration, because of your intelligence and your positivity. mrsG, though, you've been particularly amazing to me... this forum is a place where people share what is essentially the most important parts of their lives-- their careers and the careers of their spouses, both in love and in profession. the fact that you've come to this huge life decision is what brought you to this forum, and the fact that you've come up against opposition is what's brought you to share the things you have here. in doing so, you've shown yourself to be one of the sweetest people i think i've ever had the pleasure of encountering, either in person or in text... it comes out in your words and the way you phrase things, and i have full confidence that what you said would happen to someone else will happen to you: even though you've come up against crappy conditiions now, because you have your husband and your love (and because it's just the way the world works) it will all work out like it's supposed to. besides, it's a proven fact that people who drink beer and watch the SciFi channel are good people. (p drinks beer and i watch SciFi, so maybe we're each half a good person--). good people=good karma. i have the mad faith. and mrsG-- email me if you'd like to. it's hard to find neat smart sweet people these days, who are my age and with a spouse/sig-oth going into medical school, and who graduated with a degree in the love of language. it's a rather small bunch of us that exist in the world. drop me a line. grrravity@yahoo.com