What is Something Popular that Annoys You?

[MrsK]

In this same text conversation she casually mentioned that her 13yo is starring in the school play (it's *so* much work) and that she's ambidextrous ("good thing I am both right handed and left handed because I'm making dinner for the 9 of us, nursing the baby, and doing karaoke with the other kids while sending this text"). BTW, this was at 10pm on a school night. Why is her 5yo just getting dinner at 10pm on a school nigjt.

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[rufflesanddots]

She sounds kind of lonely, insecure, overwhelmed, and in need of a lot of affirmation (or else she wouldn't be seeking it from you). Keep paying attention to your spidey senses.

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[MrsK]

She sounds kind of lonely, insecure, overwhelmed, and in need of a lot of affirmation (or else she wouldn't be seeking it from you). Keep paying attention to your spidey senses.

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I agree with all of that. She keeps saying she has it all together but there's just no way. The husband works long hours and he's rarely home. The 13yo (kid #2) is in a wheelchair so he has lots of medical needs. The 11yo told me that she sometimes misses school to take care of the smaller kids. And the three in grade school are often unsupervised. I see them walking to school late every day. When they are in my house, they are very quiet and they eat like they've never been fed.

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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

That’s not even humble. That’s just bragging.


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[rufflesanddots]

Oh man, that's a really tough scenario. I wish she could get some help or respite care. It's untenable to try to force and then rely on a relationship with you for all the support and back up she needs.

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[Thirteen]

I agree with all of that. She keeps saying she has it all together but there's just no way. The husband works long hours and he's rarely home. The 13yo (kid #2) is in a wheelchair so he has lots of medical needs. The 11yo told me that she sometimes misses school to take care of the smaller kids. And the three in grade school are often unsupervised. I see them walking to school late every day. When they are in my house, they are very quiet and they eat like they've never been fed.

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Red flags. Lots of red flags.


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[MrsK]

Red flags. Lots of red flags.


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No kidding. But nothing reportable. I keep telling DrK that something's up. On one hand, I want to distance myself but I worry about the kids. So, I've tried to just position myself as a safe person the kids can come to if they need someone. The 10yo seems to have warned to me especially. The mom is a social worker BTW.

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[Thirteen]

No kidding. But nothing reportable. I keep telling DrK that something's up. On one hand, I want to distance myself but I worry about the kids. So, I've tried to just position myself as a safe person the kids can come to if they need someone. The 10yo seems to have warned to me especially. She's a social worker BTW.

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What?! (Social worker)


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[MrsK]

What?! (Social worker)


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You missed my edit. Mom is a social worker.

Yup. I think that's part of her desire to be needed. Her 8 kids need her. And her clients. And the random ladies at the gym....

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[rufflesanddots]

Oh my.

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[JDAZ11]

🤭


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[rufflesanddots]

One of the golden rules of social work is that you don't "social work" yourself, your friends, or your family. I hope she's open to some help at some point, and though I love that you're keeping an eye out and making a safe place for her kids, that's not the ultimate solution, you know? Yikes!

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[MrsK]

One of the golden rules of social work is that you don't "social work" yourself, your friends, or your family. I hope she's open to some help at some point, and though I love that you're keeping an eye out and making a safe place for her kids, that's not the ultimate solution, you know? Yikes!

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Oh, I know. Just haven't got a good handle on the problem though. I've wondered if there is abuse.

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[rufflesanddots]

I meant more like it seems she may believe that because she's a SW she thinks she'll know how to manage all these complexities without additional support or intervention.

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[MrsK]

I meant more like it seems she may believe that because she's a SW she thinks she'll know how to manage all these complexities without additional support or intervention.

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I know what you meant. I was responding to your comment about my role in the matter.

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