Mom Brain

[SoonerTexan]

I'm starting to think this is a real thing. Does anyone else feel like they are losing cognitive function with each child?

Before I had kids, I was ALWAYS on top of stuff. I swear with each child it gets worse and worse. I've completely missed appointments and events and am generally just not as "on top of it" as I once was. A few months ago, I was late on a bill--that has never happened before.

This weekend, I bought religious stuff for my kids Easter baskets and reminded myself over and over to bring them to my in laws. I have a visual of it in my suitcase (although I guess I probably took it out?). I can actually remember taking it out of my suitcase at their house and putting it with other Easter stuff. The night before Easter we tore everything apart looking for it. We came home last night and found the bag under a laundry basket on my bed.

Does it get any better when the kids get older? I'm afraid another child is going to wreak serious havoc in my head!

[Thirteen]

I take pictures of things, make lists, have three calendars, and CC DH on all school correspondence. I also drastically slashed through trinkets and extra possessions about a year ago to help minimize the stuff.


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[civilspouse]

I tell myself that it’s just because I’m juggling so many different things right now and it will pass when the kids are older. I sure hope it does.


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[spotty_dog]

I was never particularly organized or on top of things, but I definitely noticed myself getting fuzzier and more absent-minded after kids. That said, it's been reversing in recent years. Since my youngest has been 8 or so, I'm feeling sharper all the time, like I can put 2 and 2 together or remember the things I'm supposed to again. I think part of it is getting more sleep. And part of it is having good systems in place. It's actually been tough with our house in upheaval. I have a place for my keys, a place for important papers, a place to keep my bullet journal in view so I check it regularly...and those places are all on furniture that's now stored in the garage. So now I search for things, and almost miss school deadlines, and it's disconcerting.

[MAPPLEBUM]

my sister's personality has changed dramatically since she had three kids. She used to be SO type A, on top of it, and CARED. Now it's strange to see her be like "ehh, what was the date for that again?"

[SoonerTexan]

I tell myself that it’s just because I’m juggling so many different things right now and it will pass when the kids are older. I sure hope it does.

That's what I'm holding onto too...but then I look at my mother. Who is all, "I used to be functional when I was your age...just you wait! Muahaha"

Then again, my MIL is completely fastidious and never misses stuff.

my sister's personality has changed dramatically since she had three kids. She used to be SO type A, on top of it, and CARED. Now it's strange to see her be like "ehh, what was the date for that again?"

Yep.

[MrsK]

Mom Brain

Absolutely. I have parental Tourette’s and child induced ADHD. I interrupt myself constantly to shout random things like “DON’T LICK THAT” “NO NO NO NO NO” and I can’t remember anything. I used to juggle multiple multi-million dollar transactions on a daily basis and now I can’t even remember to brush my teeth and eat meals regularly. I had checklists and files and people always referred to me as “Type A” and “super-organized”. They still say those things but no one that sees me on a regular basis now knew me before the hot mess of children. They have no idea that I used to be skinny or put together or really on top of everything. My cousin has 9 kids and she’s still super-smart. I think she must have been a super-genius before motherhood.


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[MrsC]

I was thinking about the same thing yesterday. I used to remember everything!! Never had to write it down. Got a little forgetful after my first but after my second, I now forget everything! I'm constantly making lists and adding to my calendar.
What's interesting though, is my ability to study and recall that information hasn't really changed, assuming I studied without kids around.
I think it's just because we're juggling so many things and constantly distracted, not everything is encoded and stored in long term memory like it should be. Actually, I studied "memory and memory failure" recently and it said that if you run through your to-do list in the hour before sleep, you're less likely to forget it.

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[JDAZ11]

“Child induced ADD” is brilliant. I wish there was a treatment plan...


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[alotofyarn]

It's legit.

[Thirteen]

I forgot to add: I actually have ADD, and it is definitely made worse by lack of sleep and stress. I try to migrate both as much as I can. 😅


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[Auspicious]

I think it's just because we're juggling so many things and constantly distracted, not everything is encoded and stored in long term memory like it should be.

I agree with this.

IMO it’s a real thing, and yes gets better when your kids get older but takes longer than you would think. When my then-youngest was about four I remember thinking that my former brain was coming back and wondering if it would come back to 100% or just partially.


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[Vishenka69]

It's real. Didn't affect me that much after first but after second my brain has completely left me. DH had to take over paying bill because I couldn't even keep days of the week straight. I constantly make lists but then forget about them. It's a continuous game of catch up.

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[Cam]

Same here, I also use to remember everything, from birthdays, phone numbers, etc..... But now I forget a lot of things. I wasn't as organized as before and I am feeling drained