Can I Rant?

[MrsK]

The Dawkter is on call. He didn’t tell me. Didn’t put it on the calendar. He told me just moments ago. He can do call from home and will not have to go in. But he hasn’t gotten all his work done today and wants to stay at the hospital.

I have plans. A very close friend wrote a book which was the subject of a 5 way bidding war among several major publishing firms, resulting in a 7-figure contract, publication of the book in 13 countries, and an advance for her next book. I read her early drafts years ago, while our oldest boys played together in the preschool playground. I haven’t seen her since the NY book fair last Spring We’ve been trying to have dinner for months. She has until 9pm tonight and who knows when she’ll be available again.

I performed heroic acts of time management today, took care of a preschooler with a cold, took K1 to his ENT almost an hour drive and made it back in time to pick up K2 from school, bathed and fed 3 kids, read with 3 kids, finished homework with 2 kids, cleaned the kitchen, etc. so I could have the “privilege” of going out to dinner tonight. The dawkter didn’t plan ahead and now he’s irritated because I need him to come home and put his kids to bed so I can go out for 2 pitiful hours.



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[SoonerTexan]

Poor doctor. I hope you go.

[MrsC]

Go and have fun!

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[OrionGrad]

I’m sorry. I hope he comes home so you can go.

[alotofyarn]

I'd be pissed too. Hopefully you can get out!

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[MrsK]

I made it. The house is totally trashed and the kids were still awake when I got home. He’s dictating his notes now. But it was so worth it.

My friend is leaving on an 8-week book tour this weekend and she was completely panicked about being apart from her kids and about the vocal early reviews of her book. (It’s dark and controversial and she’s worried people will think she’s a sicko.) I finally got a publisher’s copy of the final book so now I get to read the whole thing all together whereas I’d only read parts before. I’ve got three weeks to read it before I need to turn it back in. I would have missed this window entirely if I didn’t insist that DrK come home tonight.

I just get so tired of having to always accommodate the medical schedule, the demanding medical mistress.


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[rufflesanddots]

I'm so glad you made it out. I wish it wasn't so stressful to organize.

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[PrincessFiona]

I’m sorry. I understand. I’m glad you made it.

DH worked until 9pm last night. I got dinner, helped Zoe study geography for 3 hours, and tried to pay attention to Amanda who had come home after not being around for nearly 3 weeks. My head was spinning in multiple directions. Dh got home and was upset I hadn’t gotten the garbage out. I can only do so much.

Kris


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[scarlett09]

I’d have been mad as hell, to have had to take care of everything and then stress about dinner actually working out. I’m so happy that you were able to go, and to be a support to your friend during this exciting, stressful time in her life.

And was there something in the dawkter air last night? DH was all proud of himself that he got home earlier than expected, despite lots of progress notes. He insisted on sitting with DD while she fell asleep, and then whined to me that I kept her up too late, that she took too long to fall asleep and now he had to eat his dinner at 10pm. That was your choice, dude - you deal with the consequences. 🙄


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[MrsK]

It doesn’t bother me that it’s “my job” to take care of the kids. It’s just that I feel so taken for granted at times like this. I hate that him being here is an exception to the rule, that I feel like I’m asking him a huge favor to look after his own children every once in a while. If it were a sitter, I wouldn’t have even had to bother with baths or dinner or the dishes. But for him, I have to do everything in advance and smooth the path for him. Then he complains and leaves the house a mess.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm only seeing this now but I'm so glad you went!!

I agree, it's totally a bummer that you had to tee everything up.

[alotofyarn]

It doesn’t bother me that it’s “my job” to take care of the kids. It’s just that I feel so taken for granted at times like this. I hate that him being here is an exception to the rule, that I feel like I’m asking him a huge favor to look after his own children every once in a while. If it were a sitter, I wouldn’t have even had to bother with baths or dinner or the dishes. But for him, I have to do everything in advance and smooth the path for him. Then he complains and leaves the house a mess.


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I know that feeling well!

[MrsK]

Can I Rant?

And today, Lambie has a cold which graduated to nose bleeds and vomiting at the exact moment that I had to pick up the boys from school and I woke up with a migraine. I had to wake my husband at 5AM because I was in agony, dry-heaving from the pain. (No, I didn’t have even one drink with my friend last night.) He managed to get the boys to school after I told him that I simply was not well enough to give him a play-by-play and he had to figure it out for himself. The upside is that I’ve read a third of the book snuggling in bed with Lambie today despite still having a headache.


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[Jim in Virginia]

It is totally unfair to you, MrsK. It makes me wonder, is there no instruction in medical school or in residency programs about how to be a half-way decent spouse while going through residency? Why do we have to educate our resident spouses about how to be respectful of our contribution to the family enterprise, about the challenges of being a medical resident's spouse? Doctor-spouses are indeed likely to characterize it as "whining" if it comes from us. They need to hear from their program director that they should never take a spouse for granted, should devote whatever time they have outside of work to their family, and in particular to relieving the primary caretaker.

[MrsK]

It is totally unfair to you, MrsK. It makes me wonder, is there no instruction in medical school or in residency programs about how to be a half-way decent spouse while going through residency? Why do we have to educate our resident spouses about how to be respectful of our contribution to the family enterprise, about the challenges of being a medical resident's spouse? Doctor-spouses are indeed likely to characterize it as "whining" if it comes from us. They need to hear from their program director that they should never take a spouse for granted, should devote whatever time they have outside of work to their family, and in particular to relieving the primary caretaker.

There's not. Haven't you heard that "medicine is a jealous mistress"? They are expected to devote their lives to their calling. Medicine is really a lifestyle that is all-encompassing, especially during the training phase. That's why I was telling you in the other thread that we all get used to our spouses being away and figure out ways to entertain ourselves without them.

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