Family Reunion Woes

[Flynn]

So we are in a "discussion" with my in-laws (about four other adult couples and one 15 year old half sibling) about a gathering next summer.

Only my sister in law's family and ourselves have young children and there are certain members of the family that don't make ANY considerations so that the trip is family friendly. We will have an almost three year old and a ten month old next summer so certain things are very helpful -- like kid appropriate activities within walking distance or a beach!!

So far we have been labeled "particular" because we would prefer not to camp in high humidy in the middle of nowhere!

Also, there are three adult couples in the east and two couples in the west with two small children each. A few members think it's "only fair" that the majority rules and the westcoasters go east?! Grumble grumble.

Anyone else fine family reunions a bit more of a pain than they are worth???

[Meenah]

If it doesn't work for you and your (immediate) family, don't go!!!
Luanne

Families are fun, aren't they? Fortunately our family doesn't have this problem because no one is particularly motivated enough to want to reunite with everyone else. But it could also be that we're the only family that lives far away from everyone else and we visit only once a year.

Do you want to go? You'll have a relatively new baby and if it just doesn't pan with your schedule, don't fret and ask to have it close to where you are. If not, just say, sorry, maybe next, next year.

Why do people have family reunions anyway, I've often wondered. If you like them, you wouldn't have moved far away, and if you did move, why the heck would you want to see them more than the obligatory holiday or two?

[fluffhead]

Why do people have family reunions anyway, I've often wondered. If you like them, you wouldn't have moved far away, and if you did move, why the heck would you want to see them more than the obligatory holiday or two?

8)
That cracks me up. I agree - if you want to see somebody, you can go visit them, it doesn't have to be a big party, right?
Though the family genealogists always have a ball at these things.

[Flynn]

I agree with the "if it doesn't work, don't go thing" but we are so good to go see my family when it works out...I would feel badly if we didn't at least try to go. Our daughter has such a great relationship with a bunch of my family members.

On the other hand, my father in law has seen our daughter once where we went East (he's never made the effort to see her) for only one day in her short life. It seems if we don't make the effort, she will think she ony has one grandfather!

We'll see how the "discussions" go.

Anyone else get pressure from your spouse (like me!) so that "not going" is never an option?

It sounds like I'm in the minority here, but I love family reunions. Well, I love my husband's family reunions. My own family hasn't had one for years and years and years. But my husband's extended family is very large and are very scattered. A site is picked every four years (two years ago it was in Michigan, the next one is set for Vancouver) and everyone who can (or wants to) goes for as long as they can (or want to). Usually its a four day event complete with games etc., and an entire resort is rented so all meals are included. Its always kid friendly as there are always kids of all ages. I think the key is that its so relaxed. A lot of the family members are a lot of fun, and we almost never get to see them, even during the holidays.

So I love them, but if you don't and it will be a hassle, I agree with Luanne: don't go!!

[PrincessFiona]

A family reunion does seem like a lot of fun....I have often wished that our family was close enough (in an emotional sense) to have them. That being said I don't think you guys are being 'particular' at all...the other family members just don't realize the challenges of bringing small children on these trips.

Have you considered looking around for some cabins to rent and then bring it up as a suggestion? A lot of families here rent cabins out by the week at diff. cabin resorts...they are fairly inexpensive and often offer a variety of activities for kids of all sizes. Maybe if you could stumble upon one of these and get the brochures etc you could present it like a new fun idea to try? Maybe they'd all go for it and have a great time?

kris

[Phoebe]

DH used to receive pressure from family and feel like there wasn't an option until we had kids. Now we had established the policy that we are going to put our immediate family first and not kill ourselves to get somewhere on someone else's account. Some family doesn't understand but it makes our lives a lot easier. We have stressed ourselves out enough times.

In fact, DH's family wants to get together for his parent's 40th wedding anniversary next year. It has been a big debate about where to go because no one agrees. It may come down to the whole family going to my in-laws where my SIL says all the women can cook and the men can golf. I don't think so!

Jennifer

[Phoebe]

DH used to receive pressure from family and feel like there wasn't an option until we had kids. Now we had established the policy that we are going to put our immediate family first and not kill ourselves to get somewhere on someone else's account. Some family doesn't understand but it makes our lives a lot easier. We have stressed ourselves out enough times.

In fact, DH's family wants to get together for his parent's 40th wedding anniversary next year. It has been a big debate about where to go because no one agrees. It may come down to the whole family going to my in-laws where my SIL says all the women can cook and the men can golf. I don't think so!

Jennifer

[Phoebe]

DH used to receive pressure from family and feel like there wasn't an option until we had kids. Now we had established the policy that we are going to put our immediate family first and not kill ourselves to get somewhere on someone else's account. Some family doesn't understand but it makes our lives a lot easier. We have stressed ourselves out enough times.

In fact, DH's family wants to get together for his parent's 40th wedding anniversary next year. It has been a big debate about where to go because no one agrees. It may come down to the whole family going to my in-laws where my SIL says all the women can cook and the men can golf. I don't think so!

Jennifer