decisions, decisions

Hi everyone. I introduced myself over a year ago and have not been on this site since last fall. I guess I should re-introduce myself. My name is Cherry and I'm an elementary school teacher from California living in Chicago. DH just started his fourth year and this is where my dilema starts...

I moved to Chicago (right after our wedding)summer of 2002 these past two years have been very challenging. Normally I would have adjusted living in this city but my work situation made that really hard. I taught at 2 inner city schools over the past two years and both places did not work out. I spent most of this working for a nazi principal and kids with unbelievable problems. (Did not even leave me time to go on this website )

Then this past March my hubby decided that since we want to get back to the west coast, he was going to do some away rotations for his fourth year. In September, he's going to Oregon and he will spend time in San Francisco and Los Angeles in this fall. Since he is going to be away for half the year, we decided that I would move back to California this summer so I could at least be with family and friends and not be alone in Chicago.

Now that I'm trying to organize my move, I am second guessing my decision. First of all, I don't have a job or a place in California. I will be moving my things into my parents house and putting our furniture into storage in Chicago. Since I don't know where we are going to be for his transitional year or residency, we figured it would be cheaper to put furniture in storage till he matches in March. No sense paying for a cross country move twice. With all this hassle, I am wondering if I should have just stuck it out with my job and stayed here in Chicago for one more year. True DH would be gone for half the year, but he'll be here the after Christmas... No matter what we'll still be apart...
What d'o you all think? I'm just a little stressed out!

Cherry,

I'm sorry to hear about the rough time you had in the school system. A few years ago, I briefly taught middle school in a terrible system. I walked out the door when threatened by a student's drug addicted mother.

Let me say that I think you and your husband are best equipped to answer this question and solve this dilemma. Coming from that point of view, I was hesitant to respond to your question. But hopefully a few questions that crossed my mind when I read your post, could help you in some small way.

It's unclear to me whether or not you still have the option of retaining your job in the school system. If you do have that option, could you even see yourself taking it? What would be some of the likely emotional, financial, and other repercussions of pursuing that option? Along those same lines, are there other teaching jobs available that offer a better workplace environment? Are there non-teaching jobs you would be interested in pursuing in Chicago?

Have you considered all the financial angles? When I read your post, I wondered if it would be a great hardship for you to pay for two residences - one in Chicago and one in California. It may not be an issue for you, but I was thinking that not working for a while, but staying in Chicago, would seem more cost effective than living in California, looking for a job, and paying for two residences simultaneously.

I also wondered how you really feel about living with your parents (even if only for a short time)? For me, it would be very stressful - more so than being alone and searching for employment. But perhaps they are easy to live with and would provide a very supportive environment. That possibility leads me to my final set of questions.

Are your parents so supportive that by "inertia" you'll likely live with them and forego a serious attempt to find your own place and/or job in California? If that might end up being the case, how would you and your husband feel about that?

Good luck in whatever you choose.

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Hi Cherry! Welcome to the board.

I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well. It sounds like you have to make some tough decisions. Did you already quit your job? I know of a couple teachers (friends of friends) who have had a hard time finding decent jobs. I think they are both working for CPS now and like their schools (I don't know where they work).

Would you be willing to work a different type of job for a year, or maybe to temp or substitute teach? If you can find something to do that you wouldn't hate (your last job just sounds so awful), maybe it would be worth it to stick around for a year. Moving is hard. But I also know that being alone in a strange city is hard. It took me 2 years to get used to living in Chicago even though I grew up in nearby suburbs. There were definitely times I wanted to move to be near my family (who now live in TX). It's hard to make friends here and even though there are a million things to do, it's hard to find your niche. I got used it, though, and now I absolutely love living here.

Good luck and keep posting!

PM me if you want to talk about resources in the city.

Thanks for the replies. I'm so glad that I am not the only one whose had to make these difficult decisions. I quit my teaching job at the end of the school year this past June. I'm sure I could find another teaching job in Chicago but its really hard to find a good school and I can't imagine going through that same experience again (DH was sympathetic but he could not be as supportive because he was just as busy as you all know).

Its also hard for me to stay here alone because I still don't know anyone in the city. I can't imagine being here alone especially in the winter. My husband and I decided to make the move when it was still cold, but Chicago is a completely different place in the summer. I have really been enjoying myself. Then again its warm and I'm not working...

I really don't want to move back to my parents but they are quite supportive. We are giving up our apartment in Chicago and DH will be staying with some friends on his away rotations and he will set up a roomate situation when he returns to Chicago in January. This way it won't be as expensive. I'm going to fly out to LA next week to try to get some job interviews. I am very familiar with the LA school district and finding a job will hopefully make things easier.

It sounds like you have a good plan, Cherry. Good luck with your interviews.