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a weird housing/residency question

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  • a weird housing/residency question

    Obviously I'm very excited about the prospect of getting a house soon so I've been thinking if it would be wise to get a house (granting it was the right price) that had at least an extra bedroom to put a bed in for DH. Preferably in a basement. I don't want to be the cold shrew but if his sleeping is going to be so important, I think this could be a good idea. It could double as a guest room when he wasn't using it. I think it is irritating now if he studies/rotates all night and sleeps in our bedroom all day. I can't go in there and either can the kids. My main fear is that he will be grouchy and the kids will want to play with him and this will end up in alot of fights. I'm just trying to prepare for the hardships of residency, any tips would be appreciated!

  • #2
    The only input that I have on this is that after our first year of residency, DH insists on sleeping on the couch if he has home call. I tell him that he can sleep in our bed, but we both realize that we're less grumpy if at least one of us gets some sleep.

    I know a pediatric surgeon's wife who told her husband not to come home post call unless he was well rested and ready to integrate back into the family. He would catch a few hours of zzzzs after call at the hospital and then come home. Before initiating this plan, his girls were so disappointed to have to wait for Daddy to slleep after a long absence. Both the Husband and Wife agreed that even if he only had an hour to spend with the family, it was a good hour. I really like this plan, but I'm not sure every program could accomodate it.

    Kelly
    In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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    • #3
      The guest bedroom would be a good idea--when dh is getting a lot of calls when he is on home call he moves down there, which I really appreciate! It would have been nice to have a basement room that he could go to to rest on those post call days, but our house is just too small. Something to think about for the next house, though...
      Awake is the new sleep!

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      • #4
        Tell him to come here, Kristen....the FP program here has super-cushy call!
        ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
        ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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        • #5
          I agree with the others, it's actually probably not a bad idea. DH sleeps on the couch in the family room when he takes call (home call), because I don't see any reason for both of us to lose sleep on a call night! If you have an extra room where he can go and rest and not be bothered by you and/or the kids, I'm sure it will be good for everyone's sanity and well-being.
          ~Jane

          -Wife of urology attending.
          -SAHM to three great kiddos (2 boys, 1 girl!)

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          • #6
            GO FOR IT!!! That is the best idea I have heard for a long time, and something I will definitely look for in our house next year. I HATE tip-toeing around the whole day and trying to keep our over-zealous 2 year olds in check while he sleeps off his call. Needless to say, we have been the rounds with this one - DH usually thinks that life should end as we know it to accomodate his schedule - ya, try explaining that to the toddlers . One funny thing - in our old house, we had a room like that in the basement, with a huge desk for study and a bed for sleeping. But that STILL wasn't enough. One Sunday when he was studying and I was walking around the kitchen getting things cleaned up from dinner, he actually came up and asked if I could just find one place to stay and not move around for the rest of the day ... umm, sure, honey... let me just relay that message to the kids .

            All I can say is the more isolated the room, the better! If we ever build a house, you can bet there will be one completely sound proof room completely on its own so that he can go there and be completely UN-disturbed for as long as his heart desires!!! (Can you tell I'm still a little bit bitter about this subject?!).

            Jen B.

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            • #7
              We have a small 2 bedroom house with a guest room that is utilized pretty much for that purpose alone - home call, post call etc. He sleeps there quite happily.
              My biggest problem is getting him off the couch once he comes home from post call. He has a bad habit of sitting on the couch and literally falling asleep sitting up in his scrubs!!! Once he's out, I can't get him off the couch! So when he comes home post call and I am home, I won't even let him sit on the couch for 1 second! One way of helping DH sleep during the day while I am trying to get stuff done around the house is to use an air purifier. The purifier drowns out most noise with it's subtle "humming". In fact, I have gotten so used to it that I can't sleep without it either. We used it a lot during med school in Chicago when ambulances were going by our apartment every 5 minutes. There are machines that create a soothing humming that are specifically made for drowning out noise. I can imagine this would be very helpful in a basement or day sleeps when there are little ones around. It sounds like some of you could use one of these!
              Ironically, my hubby is on call tonight (Trauma surg) and won't get any sleep. So I am gathering everything out of the room so he won't be disturbed during the day. Ahhhhh- all the things we do for them. Do they even realize it?

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