adoption

If anyone has any info on the adoption process please chime in. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over two years. We are now thinking of looking at adoption. We will be movingh in about a 1 1/2 years (Air Force). We are not sure how longg the process may take and whether or not we should begin it before we move or wait until we are settled in our new location. What are the logistics of the process?

Lauren

[DCJenn]

Well- check out my posts under parenting for the woes of international adoption.

The first thing I would suggest is read, read, read. Actually, if you PM me your address, I'd happily send you some of my resources. We aren 't going to adopt any more after we bring home the little dude.

We chose international adoption for a number of reasons but it's not for the faint of heart. There are countries that are easier to adopt from than Russia, but we are glad we have gone this route now that we've met Nikolai.

It's not cheap, either, but the military has a bonus that you can apply for, each state has different adoption credits and the feds do as well. I estimate once this is all finished, including travel and hotels, we're looking at easily 20 grand. But, with the lovely military bonuses and my frequent traveller status, we've been able to swing it pretty easily (and it doesn't require one big fat check, just a bunch of painful yet medium sized ones.)

We of course wondered about the process- it can take a long time, and we like our comfy two person lifestyle. You have to be prepared, you have to be flexible and you have to understand that it's a journey of it's own.

Jenn

PS- my husband is also adopted and I'm so glad he'll be there to answer questions for Nikolai that I won't even begin to understand!

[bony00]

I have a question and before I ask the question, let me say that I know absolutely nothing about the adoption process. Why are international adoptions so popular? Are there no children in the US available or is the process a nightmare and thus people prefer to adopt internationally?

K

[DCJenn]

There are a myriad of reasons why people chose the various paths- we have friends who have adopted domestically, friends who have done foster-to-adopt and we chose Russia. (you can also adopt from China, Guatemala, Ukraine and a bunch of other countries) We chose Russia because my husband is adopted and we found his birth mother who is Finnish. They share quite a bit of history with Russia and that was a compelling reason. The second reason is that I did not want to share my child with a birth mother, and I have heard too many horror stories of birth parents changing their minds. Not for me. We considered foster-to-adopt but there are often rules about staying in the area and with being in the military, that's not possible. There are tons of older American kids available, but we wanted a baby.

Each family will do what is right for their own family.

Jenn