hello

hello everyone,
i m in a very bad situation and need advice. i have been in a very serious relationship with a guy for the last 6 months. He is General surgery resident 4th year. everything was going fine. we used to see eachother on the weekends. we were planing on getting married. i am myself a dental student 2 nd year. we were planing on getting married after i finish my 3rd year. but lately he got sooo busy. i haven't seen him over a month . he doesn't call as much. but yesterday he told me that he loves me more than anyone and misses me and not a day goes by without thinking of me. but for some reason i get very insecure. i don't kno what do. i m sorry if my question is stupid. i don't think anyone of freinds would understand cuz they have never been in my situation. if anyone could share there views on this situtation any advise would be greatly appreciated!

[Flynn]

~~~~~~

You haven't seen him in over a month? Are you in the same city/area? That sounds a bit extreme even for me!

A couple of things come to mind...in no particular order (my husband just finished his general surgery residency but he opted for ...more training.. .)

#1.) Marrying a general surgery resident is no picnic! Have you known him for much longer than 6 months but have only been serious for that time? Get to know the lifestyle more before you commit to a marriage!!!!! Will he be doing more training or is he planning on getting a job right out of residency?

#2.) "Planning on getting married." What does that mean? Do you have a ring? Has he said, "will you marry me" and you said yes? It sounds odd that you have the impression you were going to get married soon yet you haven't seen him in over a month.

With both of those ideas out on the table, General surgery residency is time consuming beyond reason. Is it possible he's in a very hard rotation and is so tired he can't think straight, let alone call you?

Bottom line, figure out what you need from this relationship (within reason due to his time constraints) and communicate it to him. If he can't produce or doesn't want to, get out NOW!!! This lifestyle is VERY HARD on the strongest relationships!

Good luck!

[Meenah]

It all sounds "strange". Has the relationship only been 6 months? If so, you haven't seen him for one, so how can you think of getting married after 5 months? Take time to be sure.
Luanne

[houseelf]

Ditto to what Luanne said. I am married to a PGY5 and even during the most hellish rotations DH calls me twice a day or has me come *try* to meet him for dinner at the hospital. I would proceed with caution here.

Best of luck.

Kelly

thanx for u r advise. sometime we ignore things we don't like. whatever i m gonna dump his asss............