need your help, driving phobia starting

I used to take the highways (freeways) all the time here. We have a 16 lane highway here. I drove many times on it a few times a week for 20 minute trips each way, used it for University, never had a problem.

About 1 year ago I started getting nervous and anxious while driving. I kept practising and i've been able to go on it again successfully. Since i've sold my car (about 6 months ago) I went on the highway again the other night with my mom's car and the fears, anxiousness came back.

i need to open the window and talk to myself calmly.


Anyways, any tips? I don't want to go to a shrink or anything, I want to do this and have done this on my own, I don't know how this started, I wasn't in a accident or anything.

What are some things I can do to help myself?

I kinda know what you're going through--after my favorite teacher in high school was killed in a car accident during my junior year of high school, I couldn't handle being anywhere near a semi-truck on the highway. I would be in a sheer panic any time I had to drive on the highway.

It faded over time, as I spent more hours on the road. Distracting yourself with good music or even a book on CD helps too. It's all about getting your mind off of fixating on what could go wrong, I think.

Have you asked your husband for advice, or would that open you up to endless hours of unwanted analysis?

asking the hubby

"Have you asked your husband for advice, or would that open you up to endless hours of unwanted analysis?"

Um, yes and unfortunately, I don't think he thinks i'm serious. I'm actually quite disappointed in his comments.

I learned to drive in a city with 1.2 M people. Back when I was 16 in driver's school, I remember the first time I got on the expressway I thought I was going to die right then and there. I just couldn't believe this instructor was going to let me drive on an expressway!! It seemed so irresponsible of him. Fortunately, after several months of driving on the access roads I was comfortable on the expressway. I think many people experience something like this.

If you learned to drive in a small town, maybe you could take a driver's ed class in the city. This way you would have someone with you offering pointers. It might help increase your confidence and allay your fears. I wouln't worry about being the oldest in the class- a close friend of mine didn't go to driver's school until he was in his mid20s.

1Atlantis,

I don't have too much advice because I'm sort of dealing with the same thing. When I lived in LA, I wouldn't think twice about driving on LA freeways. But now that I've been living in a smaller town, and state, for 8 months, I get very nervous when I go back to California and have to drive on LA freeways. I've been getting concerned that since I rarely drive in traffic nowadays, that I will lose my driving skills.

The only thing that I can think of is to drive on the freeways as much as you can (although I know this will be hard without owning a car) so that you can become familiar with the freeway. I find that if I know exactly how many miles up my exit is or if a lane will eventually merge, I feel more comfortable. I basically just try to memorize the freeway so that I'm not caught off guard by lanes that suddenly merge, lanes that suddenly turn into exit only, etc....

I think there are many things you can try to do to deal with it such as practicing yoga breathing techniques when you are NOT on the road. Learning how to calm yourself before you get on the road is better than trying to deal with these feelings when you are on the road and in the midst of a panic attack. I can suggest maybe seeing a yoga instructor training in breathing techniques that you can use as a method of focused relaxation. When in panic mode we tend to change the way we breath, hold our breath or engage in strenous breathing patterns. Becoming aware of these patterns and reconnecting with a natural, deep belly breath and focused breathing exercises can calm you physically and thus mentally.
I think you also need to seriously sit down and figure out the origin of these feelings and deal with the root cause as well.
I hope this helps, the road is a SCARY place to be even when you are not experiencing what you are going through.
Keep us updated and PM if you would like me to go into more depth with specific breathing exercises (which I am trained to teach) and/or books I can recommend as well.

fear of driving

If all these great tips don't work over time, you could consider Lexapro. It has worked wonders for me. I live on an "island" town that is accessible by 2 large bridges. I would be terrified every time I would cross them. I could picture myself plunging into the water! It was awful. I also found myself becoming anxiuos about break-ins. When my husband 1st started working overnights I was home alone with my 1 month old. I would lie awake at night listening to every little noise, convinced someone was breaking in to the house. Lexapro is not a long term solution, but it does help relieve anxiety. You should try the other suggestions first, but if it gets really bad know there are other options too.
Good luck!