Lower expectations has helped

I only found you guys a month ago but ever since I logged on, I've felt so much better. I don't think it is a misery loves companay kind of thing. I think I have gained strength from all the strong women and men out there who are struggling like I am. It is nice to be able to relate to someone and be reminded that the sacrifices I make are for the good of my family. After some discussion, I agreed to support my husband in his decision to apply for a Hem/Onc fellowship. I don't know who but someone here talked about just accepting things for what they are. In a way I've almost lowered my expectations of my husband. Ever since I did that, I've been less resentful and frustrated. I don't expect him to come home on time and if he does, bonus. I consider myself a single Mom. I think the key is just creating a life around my husband until he finishes his training. My only fear is that I'll get too used to it or even worse, like it. Does anyone feel or fear the same thing?

[Amiens]

I posted a reply to this in Marriage Matters, as I felt more comfortable having my feelings displayed in a private setting. If you don't have access to the Marriage Matters, I will PM you.

Crystal

I think you've verbalized (or written) much of what I've been feeling. My dh is in Pathology - which is a MUCH more family friendly lifestyle, but with moonlighting and studying for boards, he ends up not being around much either. When I do automatically handle everything house / child related, he just lets me -- even when he is available to help. If I go on strike and let things get out of control he'll finally pitch in, but remind me how much study time, etc. he's missing. It's very, very frustrating.

Expecting less is a way to avoid being disappointed, you just have to make sure you won't eventually resent it.

[Vanquisher]

nt...moved to other forum