Moving / Organizing / Being a Mom

I'm preparing for the almost-inevitable-situation where we will have to sell our house by June while we're still in the interviewing process here in MARCH. I've got 2 toddlers and a HUSBAND (almost as big a mess problem as the toy monsters), and my mom died almost 9 years ago so I've got a whole lot of her junk that I wasn't ready to deal with. All this in a 1400 square foot house. (Did I mention that it's MARCH and we don't have a contract for July yet?)

Anyway, I'm trying to spend my "free" time sorting and tossing and organizing and power cleaning, and I'm driving myself crazy. Add that to dh being gone for 6 days straight at BIL's bachelor party bookended by 2 interviews and you can guess my mental state and follow that to the kind of mom I'm being during this. DH is also studying for boards in June (schedule pretty much the week we'd be moving), so has made it clear that he's Mr. Unavailable until the test is done.

I just feel like it's too much stress - but it all has to get done! Why does it seem so easy for some people and like so much work for me? A friend suggested the "flylady" website for tips on getting rid of clutter, but I pointed out that that chick sure did clutter up my inbox w/14 emails a day!

I feel overwhelmed, cranky, sad at the prospect of moving, sad to be cranky w/my beautiful children, and helpless to do anything to steer the next step in our lives. :thud:

Thanks for listening to me whine.

[Sheherezade]

That sounds very stressful. I hope your husband finds his job soon. I think that will relieve some of your anxiety. As to getting the house ready for sale with the kids and the clutter, try to do a little at a time. Can you confine the kids and the husband mess to one or two areas, or alternately make one or two area off-limits? Then you can concentrate on clearing out/straightening one space at a time without it getting destroyed again. Soon, the warm weather will come and if you have a yard you can let the kids play outside. If you could find someone to take them for a "regularly scheduled" playdate, that could give you some time to work on things. Sometimes it has been suggested that a good way to quickly eliminate clutter for a sale is to rent a storage unit for a few months and just stow it away. You are also welcome to store stuff in my house! You could have some professionals come in to clean right before the house goes on the market. I know all that takes money and may not be possible. As for DH mess, he may not be able to help with boards to worry about, but he could certainly refrain from making more trouble!
We had a tight move last year with only 2 days between finishing clinical work in Boston and starting here. One of the days, DH sat for boards and the other we closed on the new house. I was freaking out for weeks before and during the transfer. I think it has taken us 6 mos to even start to feel settled. Your situation is worse; you don't have a destination secured yet and your kids are younger. I think it is normal to be overwhelmed. Please let me know if I can help with the house or the kids; I'm only 30 minutes (or less) away.

[Phoebe]

Jennifer- Sorry you are going through so much right now with a tough transition coming up. You are single-handedly keeping your family together right now. I am sure you are close to pulling your hair out and have no time to yourself.

I don't know if you have access to child-care, but while living in Cleveland Heights I was apart of a babysitting co-op in the Cedar-Lee area, although we lived off of Monticello. The kids are all around the ages of yours. I can see if the group still exists. Does HOWA having anything in place for babysitting or moving?

During our move 18 months ago, we put our house on the market and purged all that we could. We donated a lot of stuff to the Salvation army including one of our cars because I am not very good at garage sales.

I would just try to take things one day at a time or maybe try to accomplish one thing per day because you can drive yourself crazy thinking of everything that needs to be done. If the hospital where your husband accepts a job, covers your moving expenses, you can always have the movers pack everything and purge when you get to your new destination. Although this is a stressful time, it is an end to a long journey and you may find parts of it exciting once you know where you are going.

Take care! Jennifer

[houseelf]

Jennifer,

Don't blow off what you are going through---it is a lot. Seriously, I read somewhere that moving is one of life's most unsettling events. Add a residency and the blessings and stresss associated with two little ones and you have a very full plate. Be good to yourself and remember that the stress is real and due to the situation.

Best of luck.

Kelly

That sounds similar to where I was last year -- except at least I knew where we were moving!
We were trying to get our house ready to sell, buy another one, DH was traveling for research conferences A LOT, I took on a work project I shouldn't have, and we had a 3 month old baby.
I think there is good advice above. See what you can do to get a sitter or have someone watch your kids and be ruthless with sorting stuff. If you feel up to a garage sale, you could have a garage sale pile, give away pile (a place that picks up -- like Salvation Army), and a trash pile.
If that isn't possible, I think the storage idea is a good one. Either pack stuff up in bins and stack them neatly in the garage or use offsite storage (esp for your mom's stuff). That could help the appearance of your home for sale, too.

The stress of not knowing where you are going....yikes. Hang in there!

I'm in a similar situation and I swear it is the reason I've been sick for 22 days now.

Dh starts MS1 this august, and we're still not sure where. Have to get the house fixed up and on the market by May, and sort out all of our belongings, moving from a now 2,000 sf space into what will if we are lucky be 1,100 sf.


I've been buying the rubbermade/type bins with lids for everything and seperating stuff to donate/garage sale.

Is there a 10-14 year old you know who whose parents would be willing to send her/him over and hang out with the kids while you get stuff done? At that age you can pay them $3-5 an hour and they'll be happy.

This too shall pass

[SueC]

That does sound stressful. Just try to take it one day at a time!!!

Thanks all - especially to goofy for the offer of storage space! You're awesome. Just knowing I can vent here is v. helpful. Unfortunately most of my friends who I've previously swapped babysitting with are in the same boat (but somehow far more organized than I am), and they know where they're going so their houses are already on the market. They're both on pins and needles and are operating as though they will get calls everyday and their house has to be in primo condition so I'm hesitant to dump my "destruction duo" on them. My non-medical friends are trying to be supportive, but are pretty bummed/somewhat jealous that we'll be leaving for far greener pastures than they're likely to see. To a tee the non-medical crowd starts naming hospitals in the areas where they're sure dh hasn't looked.

I've hauled the kids out to MIL's a couple times in the past few weeks for some quiet cleaning time, and that comes with a WHOLE NEW LOT OF :thud: (i just can't get enough of that one!).

U Penn interview tomorrow .... U Penn interview tomorrow .... U Penn - I think you get it. KU deciding soon, KU deciding soon, KU deciding soon.

HOWA used to have a babysitting co-op, but I didn't join the group this year. There was a lot of politcal nonsense going on, and most of my friends had moved on (shorter residencies).

I think things will get better now that I've put my Tastefully Simple business on hold and can focus more on house / family.

I've got Purple Heart coming tomorrow to pick up 6 huge garbage bags of clothes (all mine and my mom's) and a couple boxes of toys. It's only a start! A friend of my mom's came over yesterday to help me go thru stuff in the basement and we made a good dent, moved a lot of stuff that will be part of the mammoth garage sale out to the garage (wait 'til dh comes home and sees that his precious "sit outside and smoke/do crossword puzzles" zone has been over taken by highchairs and the like.)

Most of all - thanks for you understanding and sympathy!