The other woman...

Twisted MIL stories you ask for??? Aha, my friend, you've come to the right place.

My dh is Indian, I'm garden-variety white girl, so the in-laws weren't keen on me: "uneducated gold-digger" was a common phrase. MIL wanted more than anything to arrange DH, and once while we were living together, MIL said to DH (in front of me) "We have to get you a girl!" DH said "Ma - I have a girl!", to which MIL said "No - to marry!"

My in-laws think they can tell us how to handle every minute detail of our lives, from financial to what to wear to BIL's wedding. The topper: the last time the in-laws watched our kids, they took them in the car w/o car seats AND let 4 year old DS sit up front!

Yes - 3 weeks with pretty much anyone you've not chosen for a spouse or given birth to is a tough one, but at least you usually like her!

Best of luck!

[Phoebe]

OMG! 3 weeks is like a death sentence! I could go on for days about my MIL. The lastest is the my DH wants to spend our anniversary weekend with them. I am thinking, are you crazy?

I will highlight a couple sad stories:

1. In training, MIL told me she wanted to take over doing our finances because she couldn't believe we were so poor living on one income.

2. A couple of years ago, my MIL told me that her husband was unfaithful in their marriage and that she had never shared that with anyone. She followed it up with offering me money to keep it to myself.

3. DH just finished training, me had been in new house for 2 days. DH's back was out and he couldn't move and had to do an orientation for work, I was 30 weeks pregnant and my mom was here helping to unpack. In-laws drove 8 hrs to our house unannounced and called 10 minutes before they arrived to let us know they were coming and wanted to stay at our house.

Thinking of you!

Jennifer

The lastest is the my DH wants to spend our anniversary weekend with them. I am thinking, are you crazy?

The answer to that question is YES.

Ladybug -- wishing you luck, patience, and that you don't bite a hole in your tongue. Her comment reminds me of an email that went around with excerpts of how to be a good wife in the 1950's -- make him a drink when he comes home, ask him about his day, keep the children quiet, and don't talk about yourself. Um, yeah, and could you just please be a little more supportive? Good luck!!!!

My MIL....she could have been a contender. But I think that Jlynnb's MIL would have kicked her a$$.

[DCJenn]

I still say that we need to do a Celebrity Death Match between Jenn's MIL and Kris' MIL, although apparently we have some new contenders.

My MIL and I have forged new ground, after she confessed to me that she didn't like me at first because she didn't see what Rick and I had in common, this from the woman who still sends him Drakkar Noir cologne packages every Christmas...

Jenn

[Flynn]

These are a RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THree weeks with the in-laws is something nobody should endure. Ladybug, the whole "stand by your man" theme in MIL's "advice" to you is just SILLY!!!!!!!!!!! Focus on his career? NOT BUY A HOUSE? Whatever. This woman is nuts.

My MIL was FROM HELL during the planning of the wedding and basically the first three years. Then kids came into the picture, we had a "coming to God talk" and she shaped up. That's the SHORT version. She's harmlessly annoying now although sometimes she does things that make me want to punch first and think later.

Favorite quotes from MIL in our past (this is going to be fun):

When asked about her son marrying me: "I give it a year."

These are all things she has said to my face:

"I can't believe you stay home with your kids and my daughter doesn't. She's so much more nurturing than you could ever hope to be."

"Did you pick this paint color out yourself or was it on sale?"

"Watching your weight must be really boring after a while. I'm glad I'm happy with who I am on the inside and out."

"Will you EVER make peace with my son's schedule and just get over the fact that he works a lot?"

************************************************** ********

Add to that she gives "helpful" tips on dressing and caring for my children. If one of my kids doesn't have a hat, she puts one on and the opposite is true too. Stuff like that. She is a simple simple person who thinks her age = wisdom despite being one of the most sheltered people I know. And I could go on and on and on and and and.....



Now that I have a son, I at least have a living model on what NOT to be.

[Rapunzel]

Some of these had me spitting my drink out! Jenn, your MIL actually tried to bribe you into "keeping quiet"?!?

This is all good for me to read as I need to learn what kind of MIL I SHOULD NOT be when my son gets married.

Jennifer

Jenn, I read Indian MIL and immediately felt for you! I have a friend who is married to an Indian man, and NOTHING she does is good enough. Never mind that she can speak 3 languages, is homeschooling her kids and she and her husband are doing well enough to help support their Ils while still in their 30's.

My MIl and I can last 10 days, and that with plenty of apart time. As far as parenting, she is fantastic, actually I try to emulate a lot of the stuff she and FIl did with my DH. She always asks how we want stuff done, what the kids are allowed to do, how so and so is done nowadays.

I have forgotten some of my MIL's "better" moments (self-protection?). But these posts have reminded me of a few.

When we got married, she desperately wanted to be the center of attention. Because, you know, it's not really fair for it to be about the people getting married! Two points of clarification, her hobbies are sewing and photography and she is notorious for procrastinating. She wanted to be the wedding photographer (so that everyone could see her in action with her hobby and so she could tell everyone what to do). We said no. We negotiated that she could make the ring bearer pillow as a way to be involved. The pillow was barely made in time -- and I mean fabric over a pillow insert. I swear, I think that she asked every single guest if they saw the pillow and had to let them know that she made and what it would look like when it was finished and that it wasn't finished because she just has had so much work to do, yada yada yada.

She was going to finish the pillow with the embroidery and other detail work after the wedding and give it to us as a Christmas gift....then anniversary gift....Needless to say, the pillow is not and never will be done. That is ok with me and the reason why that was such a good compromise in the first place! We would have never seen a wedding photo album if she took the pictures. Oh, come to think of it, she was making a photo album out of the candids her friend and brother took. That wasn't finished either.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my MIL was visiting at our house to look at some improvements we did. Part of the work was hanging new blinds. DH happened to mention that we needed to install those bracket things to keep the cords up. Why, she asked? We told her that the cords could be a strangulation hazard. She said, "Oh, come on. We had cords like that when we were kids and you (DH and SIL) were kids and nothing ever happened to you!" And then she chuckled over how "by the book" we were. Similar situation with wondering why we didn't start the babies on solids before 4-6 months, why we wouldn't let the toddler play with rusted metal Tonka trucks (but your FIL gave those to DH when he was that age! So?). And they wondered why we wouldn't leave our kids alone with them. :disappointed:
btw....she is a pediatric nurse.

Hello!

I rarely post but read often. I just had to say this thread had me LOL!!!

Just a few MIL moments for me...

After my 1st daughter was born, my MIL urged DH that we change her name. My DD's name is Maya and she didn't care for it because it is not a Catholic-type name.

I'd really like to open a small cafe once we settle somewhere permanently. (This is something I've thought about for over 15 years. My DDs get really excited about the idea.) She is totally against me working. She claims that I can't possibly be a good parent if I'm not home with the kids. (I've been a SAHM for the past 6 years.)

She has a dog that has a history of biting. (He bit my FIL a few times requiring stitches. One time dangerously close to his eye.) The dog has lunged at my DD's face a couple of times. MIL doesn't think it's a big deal.

MIL wants us to send our kids (we have 4!) to Catholic school and is unhappy that our oldest DD is in public. I'd like to tell her that if she wants to pay for it, we'd gladly send them to Catholic school.


-Melanie

[HeartRN]

Glad you are surviving thus far! My MIL/FIL come tomorrow for the weekend for DH's graduation. Of course, DD has come down with something involving a high temp Here are a couple classics from mine:

1. Has forever referred to our daughter as "the baby".....must give her some credit, because DH let her have it about this bothering HIM (which it does!), so she really has tried to correct herself and use her name instead!

2. Left my week old daughter on the changing table upstairs to go downstairs because she had to "get her camera" I was hormonal and let her have it when this happened!

3. Still can't figure out the safety gates on our stairs, and wonders why I'm reluctant to leave our daughter at their house in Chicago for a random weekend.

There are so many better snippets that escape me at this moment! Thanks for the laughs, everybody!!!!

[Flynn]

so when my DH came home from work on Monday, my 5-year old informed his Dad that "Grandma ruined Ella." Oops.

CRACKING UP OUT HERE!!!!!!

Everyone's stories have me cracking up! My MIL drives me nuts, too!! She throws temper tantrums just like a little kid....like when she didn't speak to my husband for 3 months after she found out we were moving out of state for his new job.

My family threw a baby shower for me last weekend and one of my aunts gave me two sets of frames that were for "Baby's 1st Bath", "Baby's 1st Birthday", etc. My aunt said one set was for me and one set was for my mom to keep. Well, immediately after the shower my MIL called DH crying and was going on and on about how hurt she was that my aunt did not give her a set of frames because, after all, she's going to be our baby's grandma, too. Ummmmmm, hello!!! I don't think my aunt was obligated to get her anything. Maybe I should have told her how hurt I am that in 11 years, she has only acknowledged my birthday once. Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!! Luckily my husband didn't tell me this till we were on the plane flying home or else I would have called my MIL to give her a piece of my mind.

Oh, I know this is a petty thing to be upset about, but it really pisses me off....DH sent my MIL flowers for Mother's Day and she still hasn't thanked him for them. That woman drives me insane!

Well, immediately after the shower my MIL called DH crying and was going on and on about how hurt she was that my aunt did not give her a set of frames because, after all, she's going to be our baby's grandma, too.

That sounds like a move straight out of my MIL's playbook. Oh....that reminds me of another good one. She gave me a picture frame that says "Mom You're the Best." Sounds ok, right? Well, the picture in the frame was of my SIL and Bryn with my SIL's face in the foreground and taking up nearly all of the space. I replaced the photo and the one originally in it is no longer with us. Given her photographic inclinations, I can promise you that the photo was not the only one she had suitable for this frame.

[fluffhead]

Pictures bring out the worst in inlaws.
They had complained to my wife on a previous visit that she had no pictures of them around the house, while I had some of my family (I guess we didn't want to give the kids nightmares... )...anyway, we were at their house a few months later, and leafing through an album, I saw a picture of several of them with our daghter and me, but another picture had been conveniently placed over part of it, blocking me out

Well, the picture in the frame was of my SIL and Bryn with my SIL's face in the foreground and taking up nearly all of the space.

WHAT?!?! That seems like a calculated move to me! Just reading that gets me steamed. I'm all for the MIL Death Match!

Erica