follow up to post below

It's more than people not getting it, it's they don't ask. It's like they don't even want to know about my life now. Yes, in part it's what you were all saying how they don't understand, but I'm more frustrated that they have backed off from me and don't try to stay involved in my life. I do give hints about how lonely I am with him gone, new state, and whether it's on the phone, email or IM's, it's as if I didn't say a thing, the person doesn't respond. If I don't talk about it, they never ask. I just don't get it.

[Amiens]

I understand your frustration. I deal with the same thing. I got to a point where I became used to people not asking how I am doing and dealing with the lifestyle. I would consistently show up to church and social functions with two kids alone, and very rarely would people offer assistance or ask where Matt was. It has become one of those things that like I said I just roll with the punches. I don't have any words of wisdom or good advice to offer regarding this as I am still dealing with it.

It hurts when people you thought were "truely there for you" suddenly aren't in the way you need them to be. With some people I think they get wrapped up in their own lives to not even realize that maybe the life you are leading is a struggle. It was hardest for me when I was pregnant with our first after suffering a devastating miscarriage and Matt had started in on a difficult internship.

I long for emails when people ask how things are going with me, or even phone calls would be nice. I guess I have stopped expecting people to show an interest into what I call the darker side of our lives. Matt has been on-call a couple of Sundays, and he'll call me up before I leave for church and say "Maybe someone will invite you over for dinner tonight, because they will realize that your husband is gone." I scoff at him, and say it's highly unlikely. It hasn't happened. I also find that some people don't know how to react or respond to "Oh Matt's working all day and night at the hospital again." I am sure it doesn't help that I am on the quiet side too.

Here's all I can offer-

Crystal