At the risk of sounding like a callous grinch with no heart

[Vanquisher]

I know that I am better off than a lot of people. I know I have a home, and food on my table. I have given some money to the disaster relief for Katrina.

But...

How do you say no more?

Every time I go to the store, I am accosted by people asking to give to the scouts, or the homeless, or the cheerleaders, or the veterans. I get it on the phone too. Even on the net, on every web page. Okay, those are easier to ignore. How do you politely say, I have already donated?

The other day when checking out with groceries at the store, I was asked to give a dollar to the American Red Cross. I said that I had already donated. Here I am though, checking out with all these groceries, and she gave me this look like, it's only a dollar. And, I'm thinking, it's only a dollar here and there and everywhere else. But, those stares just eat at me.

I am greatful for what I have, but these charities are driving me nuts! Right now I tolerate it, in light of recent events, but every year around the holidays, I start feeling like Mr. Scrooge again.

[DCJenn]

It's true that once you give to one charity, you end up on everyone else's
"Potential Sucker" list. And many, many charities do sell their membership lists which is really annoying. (especially the smaller ones)

I have my personal favorites that I give to every year. Then occasionally in situations like Katrina or the Tsumani or 9/11 I'll give specifically to those groups. BUT, I have spent a ton of money in donations to Russia this year and we're pretty much spent out. I'd love to be able to give more, I really would. What I did do was gather all of the shampoos and soaps that I stole from the various hotels (well, I guess it's not really stealing since they expect you to take them) that I've collected over the past 2 years. We're getting an influx (right now according to CNN) so I'll leave them at the Armory to go to people who probably would really enjoy a nice shower!

Most of my charity donations go to environmental causes because I figure if we can't breathe, then it doesn't really matter if we have a house or not.

Jenn

Give to whatever cause/organization you feel comfortable with & then learn to say "no thanks" with a guilt-free conscience. We don't need to have "survivor's syndrome" & feel guilt because we have not had to go through what they are (whoever "they" may be at the time). Share when you feel able or so inclined & let the rest roll off your back. That's my .02 anyway!

Sara

[houseelf]

If your a grinch, than I'm a cold-blooded miser. DH's med school just sent out a huge packet for a scholarship in memoriam of his former roommate who died of cancer last year to which I did not contribute. My former college sorority, while a fabulous organization near and dear to my heart, just doesn't motivate me to donate. If I'm truthful, most of the members of my chapter were at least moderately privileged. I guess in the scheme of charities, I know that people can go to college without joining a sorority or medical school without scholarships. However, I love the Children's Defense Fund, Latchkey Foundation, and Heifer International. These charities reach out to people in real need of basic human rights.

It only seems right to pick and choose. But in the spirit of congeniality, I could be wrong about this...

Kelly

[DCJenn]

The Bush clinton fund will be giving the monies directly to the three governors to do whatever they think best- rebuild roads, bridges, hospitals, state buildings, etc. (or directly to people, or towns)

I heard an interesting interview with a County Records official from Mississippi who said that most of the birth and marriage licenses are kept on microfiche NOW but that the various jurisidictions lost hundreds of years of other records. Land deeds, war records, etc. He said the larger towns were better able to digitize their records but some of the smaller ones still kept things on paper in files. Can you even IMAGINE how difficult it would be now to research land rights etc- especially in light of people needing to know property lines to rebuild?

(and let's not even think about people's medical records...)

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

We...haven't donated. The fact that 42% of our salary went to taxes and social security feels like...donation enough.

So see....there are bigger grinches out there.

kris

Here are some more secular charities...

https://www.americanhumanist.org/secure ... rities.php

http://www.americares.org/

http://mercycorps.org/

http://www.oxfamamerica.org/

http://www.secondharvest.org/

http://www.handsonhumanity.org/

Sr. and Clinton have to come in...scarey that the face of mercy in this administration doesn't actually belong to someone in the administration.

Can you even IMAGINE how difficult it would be now to research land rights etc- especially in light of people needing to know property lines to rebuild?

In the unending task of dealing with my in-laws stuff....I have encountered more stuff regarding property lines and plots than I ever would have cared to. That is going to be a serious mess.

Has anyone mentioned Habitat for Humanity? I imagine that they will have a specific Katrina fund.

Tracy gave a good list, too.

I heard they are putting Carter in charge of rebuilding NO. He did some stuff with Atlanta right out of his presidency.

Speaking of donations -- my daughter collected some of her coins and wanted to make a donation. I know that most places don't want to accept cash (and forget coins) via mail.

Problem solved with Key Bank or Starbucks. They will take a cash donation there and give it to the Red Cross. We went to Key Bank and it was great because she was able to hand over her container and money and feel really involved with it.

we haven't done a lot of donating right now - funds are still tight as we're carrying two homes. that said, we have two homes and many have none. dh gave $20 to a woman at work collecting for another co-worker who has 17 relatives from NO staying with her, and I threw $20 in a jar at Latte Land who is matching the donations collected and sending it to a Katrina relief organization.

I have a ton of baby blankets, etc. that I would love to share. MIL makes a blanket everytime someone burps ... literally a whole wardrobe full in my extra bedroom. Anyone know what kind of agency would want these?

Jenn -- I would check the local paper. There have been off again/on again plans for evacuees to arrive in Oregon and the local paper has listed places to take clothing, diapers, etc.

Jenn, this is the hospital that DW did her training at....they are amazing!
If you ever need services for your children, meaning more than what your local pediatrician can give, that is THE place to go.

They are always taking donations of that type of item.

http://www.childrens-mercy.org/mso/dept ... DV&dept=56

[twinsmom]

The whole donating to everyone and then some brought a funny story to mind...
DH is walking home from med school (third year), and is pretty down thinking about the mountains of debt we were (and still are!!) in. Some guy came up and asked him for a dollar. DH, who is usually very rational and logical, and very nice to people needing help... kind of lost is and just turned to the guy and said, "I'm about $150 THOUSAND dollars in debt... do you have a dollar you could give me??" He said the guy kind of looked at him like he was crazy and then walked away.
When he told me the story, I laughed so hard - and that has become my new rational to help when people call, ask in grocery stores, etc... I just have to think to myself - we are in so much debt now, every spare penny we have has to go to that. We did give to DH Med school fund (a whopping $10!) because he was on the telefund committee his fourth year and knows how hard it can be... but other than that, I just give a polite, "I'm sorry, we can't do it right now."... and repeat that same line until they finally get the hint.
One of these days, I may just snap and say back, "no we can't really help, would YOU like to donate to the Brewer med-school-debt-relief fund?"
Okay... I'll get off my high horse about this now and go back to my own little grinchy corner :! .

Jen B.

Matt -

Perfect. Thank you so much for the link.