what EXACTLY does that mean?

I know, I know, we talk about this all of the time, but I cannot help but wonder (because I am SICK AND TIRED of hearing it! ):

What in the world does "it must be nice to be a doctor's wife?" or the sarcastic "it must be rough being a doctor's wife?" mean????????

And, how do you respond to that?

[DCJenn]

I try to make sure that no one knows...but-

I ignore it usually. People have no idea what it means to be a physician spouse. I've learned that you can only complain to people who get it (llike here) because no one else understands. I have two women that I work out with, one is married to an ENT and the other is married to a Child Neurologist. We have had some great conversations but the others kind of look at us like we're nuts.

Case in point, my friend's husband is working a lot of hours. He worked late on Friday and then was paged two times during the night and ended up having to go in at 3am. She's complaining and blah, blah, blah and finally I said, "yeah, it sucks, doesn't it." so SHE said, "well, he's not even being paid a doctor's salary." To which I replied, "and sadly, neither is Rick (my DH)."

Let's once again thank Kris for her stroke of genius in developing this site!

Jenn

[Vanquisher]

Earlier this summer, Chad's aunt was going on and on about how hard Chad's hours are, for him. I looked at her directly and said, "it is harder for me." She laughed it off as off I was surely kidding.

Anyone who starts ranting about how wonderful it is for me, I like to put directly in their place by giving them a little glimpse into my life. Truly most people do not get it. I like to think I am changing opinions one moron at a time. :>

Sometimes, it isn't worth it, but I figure, if I don't get the word out there, no one else will.

Tell me about it! I have a neighbor (she and her husband are retired) who repeatedly says to me "It must be nice to be a doctor's wife" and "You have such a nice life." She always complains that now that she is retired she lives on a "fixed income" and cannot afford "the nice things in life". Then she goes on to tell me, "Well, at least you'll never have that problem!" Well, 2 weeks ago she bought her husband a ginormous plasma tv for his birthday (she has invited my husband over to her house several times to watch football games on their new plasma since our tv isn't as nice ). She also recently spent several thousands on a new set of china because she just "had to have it" even though she already has 3 other sets. And she invited me to go shopping with her tomorrow because she needs to buy 3 Persian rugs for her house and she thought I might want to buy some as well. The cheapest rugs that that particular store sells are around $10,000! Ummmm, no thanks! I should have just said, "That must be nice to be able to afford that on your retirement income....", but I bit my tongue. People just don't have a clue!

Where can I get a fixed income like that?? Sign me up!

She always complains that now that she is retired she lives on a "fixed income" and cannot afford "the nice things in life". Then she goes on to tell me, "Well, at least you'll never have that problem!" Well, 2 weeks ago she bought her husband a ginormous plasma tv for his birthday (she has invited my husband over to her house several times to watch football games on their new plasma since our tv isn't as nice .

[Phoebe]

I hear ya! My grandmother recently told me that I live a luxurious life and I don't even know it. When I questioned her, she said that I have a beautiful home, blah blah blah. I had to explain that my house (which isn't that big) doesn't make up for the lack of family time and time that I spend alone.

Jennifer

[pstone]

I of course don't get that statement but, "got yourself a surgar mama eh?" is something that I have heard.

I am very blunt with my replies and usually people look quite shocked.

[Sheherezade]

We have to stick together. I have NEVER met a pampered doctor's wife despite the myth. Where did it come from anyway?? Maybe when doctor's trained for shorter periods in 100+ work hours and lived at the hospital, they were unmarried. After they were successful they married some young pampered thing? Even that doesn't ring true. The stories I've read from doctor's wives at the turn of the century present women just as tough as our group. It is soooooooo unfair. I guess people will never understand.

Here's my bleary-eyed insight on this topic -- there are two problems here. First, people don't get it and would like to think that a fair amount of luck is involved in people's success. Second, there are a lot of people under the mistaken impression that money=happiness. Just take a look at the faces of your fellow luxury car drivers to disprove that one.

And the fixed income comment? Does it really count when you are buying $10K rugs?

I thinks its those damned society pages. They print pics of women in expensive gowns and jewlery and they think thats your day to day life. :@

I don't say DH is in med school until they pry it out of me. I say he's a graduate student, and that he won't be done until we are in our mid 40's. Its never fails though, that the second they hear med school they look at my clothes. Yes, sweetie, yours are from the Limited, mine are from Target. What were you expectin?, I SAID he was a student.

And can I say that it was NEVER the doctors wives, or the docs themselves for that matter, who would buy arrangements at the greenhouse and then pass them off as their own work? No, those would be the REALLY rich ones, whose hubbies were in banking or manufacturing who did that. :!

[PrincessFiona]

Funny...That's what I wrote my article on for the journal! I don't know why people choose to cling to these ideas about dr's spouses!

kris

[Amiens]

Kris,

I can't wait to read your article then!!!! I have been mulling over that term "doctor's wife" or "dawkter's wife" and trying for the life of me to come up with a good definition and not one that society has.

People just don't get it. I like to tell people we are making two house payments, soon to be three- our mortgage, Matt's student loans and then soon to be my student loans (we'll be paying more than required on this one because is considerably smaller, higher interest, blah blah blah).

Crystal

[PrincessFiona]

My article is called 'The Dawkter's Spouse'

Not that I have any *issues* with that or anything.