SIL Rant

[SuzySunshine]

I agree, if your other SIL felt it important enough to tell you, you have to say something. DH will have to understand. Especially since there are probably a lot of people at your old hospital that know you. I wouldn't want them to think untrue things about me, especially about me and my family.

I don't have SIL's yet either, but I know my sister has had some issues with hers and you've got to nip it in the bud!

Ugh. I'm sure this isn't the first time...nor the last that you will have to deal with this kind of crap from her. She has shades of my SIL. So, while I haven't dealt with this exact scenario, there have been enough similar and I feel for you.

I agree that since Fav SIL told you about it, it's a big enough deal to warrant your DH talking to her. I'm guessing that she just needs to be kept in check sometimes?

What I have decided with my SIL -- I don't care what she tells her friends or what they think of me. We draw the line at what she says and does around our kids and family or family friends. However, she is enough of a "known quantity" that I really don't think anyone takes her all that seriously to begin with. Might be the same for your SIL -- having a public outburst like that might clue her audience in.

Yuck. Good luck with that.

[PrincessFiona]

wow! I would definitely address this! How completely inappropriate and rude of her!!

kris

[Rapunzel]

Yeah, this is one of those situations where I don't think I'd keep my mouth shut. Her behavior was wildly inappropriate and she needs to be informed of this. She also needs to be told she got her facts wrong about your feelings towards your marriage to her brother; and she is "officially" out-of-the-loop regarding your marital relationship.

Jennifer

[Sheherezade]

I see everyone's point about nipping this in the bud, but here's a counter argument:

Do you think she was using your supposed "unhappiness" as some type of support for her argument with her own boyfriend? Kind of a "well - so and so is in the same situation and she's miserable to!"? If that's the case, then I might let it drop instead of building it up. It could have just been ammo in her own fight. It's still very bad behavior, but it might have been an isolated event. Starting a big thing over her behavior might just give her more reason to be histrionic and more evidence that there is trouble in your house. ("See how miserable she is? She had to come defend herself over some silly comment!") Sometimes it is better to just leave things alone - gossip grows with every conversation, good or bad.

I hope you made it clear to good SIL that there is NOTHING wrong out of the ordinary at home. If bad SIL is saying things at your old place of employment ... well, I'm sure people won't believe the story without some type of additional support. You could always just take the Ms. Manners approach and be above the whole discussion. Honestly, what goes on in your house in nobody's business except your own. ( And ours. )

Edit to add: I wouldn't give her any attention over this. Honestly --from your second post, it sounds like she will do or say whatever as long as it put her in the center of things. Don't put her there. Ignore her.

I almost posted something similar to what Angie said -- do you really want to add fuel to her fire? And have a conversation that probably won't be quick or easy or end with her apologizing. But, when we have had to do this with my SIL -- keeping her in check -- it pays off. We have to pick our battles and let some things slide. Her behavior towards and around others hasn't changed much but it has around us and that is what makes it worth it. We don't see her often at all (thank God!)! And of course we are accused of being uppity and not caring about her and understanding her plight and blah blah blah but I obviously don't care. So, I guess I am saying you have to weight the work of talking to her about this with the benefit that may or may not come of it.

[Meenah]

I agree with Angie & Nellie. I would just ignore her. If her behavior is so juvenile, anyone who heard her knows to ignore her. Don't give her the satisfaction of a response. I would find a subtle way to let her know you know, but then do nothing!!! Just my .02, good luck.
Luanne

I would find a subtle way to let her know you know, but then do nothing!!! Just my .02, good luck.Luanne

the perfect combination of the 2 options. find a subtle way to let her know you know, but don't have a full blown discussion over it. that way, if she's got ANY dignity, she'll know she's been caught and knock it off, and if she doesn't -- well a full-blown arguement wouldn't have done any better.

i agree with the others who said that her coworkers probably know to "consider the source", and take most of what she says with a full-blown salt lick (rather than a grain).

good luck!