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Party at my house! (m)

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  • Party at my house! (m)

    I recently took over as co-chair for our Resident Auxiliary. As my first order of business, I decided that I needed to boost attendance. This group is floundering and sad to say the least, and not at all supportive or fun in the way that it could be. Last year, when I went to the introductory meeting, it was a nightmare. Nothing arranged, no organization, no plans at all. I am relly quite amazed that, that many people showed up. Well, the rest of the year saw a downward trend in membership culminating with a bowling event that was attended by me and the other co-chair. Shortly after that I was asked to take over the reigns. First order of business...make it warm, friendly, and inviting. Previous events were always arranged with mass mail invitations. True, that was the only way we had to really get a hold of people, but something needed to be done here.

    And so, I sent out an oh-so-desperate sounding letter asking, and practically begging people to come out with us and have fun. I emphasized the fun and the food and the free part. People had so many misconceptions about the group, it was rediclous. I also sent postage paid response cards out to people so that they could give me contact information. I sent 220 cards. I have received just over 10% of those back. Hey, let me tell you, this is a HUGE improvement. I have called people, and I think I am actually going to have a decent turnout tonight. Not great. I did receive a lot of flimsy excuses for why people couldn't attend. Honestly, it's as if people like being in a hole of residency dispair. I actually received an e-mail from a man who told me he felt my pain. He was the social coordinator for his medical school class, and gently reminded me that I can't force people to have fun. Thanks. Wow, I must have sounded more desperate than I thought!

    But, all in all, I call it a success. I have new contacts, new people coming tonight, and we should have fun. I talked with a few women who were really excited about the group, and I am finally feeling like I can form a group of friends here and make some connections.

    Anyway, I would love it if you all could come. I know the invitation is late, but it might be a bit far for you anyway. 6 p.m. My house. Booze, babysitters, and food provided.
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.



  • #2
    It is almost worth the shock effect to fly in......

    I hope you have fun! I'm glad you are making an effort. Sometimes, in survival mode, the whole "making friends" thing can just seem like too much. Better to stay home and lick your wounds. Of course, that is counter productive. Keep having events - I bet more people will show up if they find out there's a new sheriff in town!
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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    • #3
      Wow, only 10%! I hope you guys have a great time, maybe word will get out and more people will attend future events.
      Awake is the new sleep!

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      • #4
        I actually received an e-mail from a man who told me he felt my pain. He was the social coordinator for his medical school class, and gently reminded me that I can't force people to have fun.
        That made me laugh, the mental image of forcing people to have fun. Have fun, dammit!

        Given the past experience, I think that a 10% turn-out sounds pretty good and a great starting point. Hats off to you for taking it on! Let us know how it goes.

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        • #5
          We had similar problems with our spouse group in Cleveland. We would mail out about 500 cards, and get about 25 people. Each year there were roughly 10 or 15 people who regularly hosted or participated. The people with kids would say things were planned with no kids in mind, or people w/o kids would say everything was planned with kids in mind.

          I think spouse groups are what you make of them, and I met two of my dearest friends in ours, as well as several other good people who were wonderful to know during residency. I felt that I "outgrew" (not as though I was better than the others, but that I'd gotten what I could from it) it after 3 years (but hung in for 5).

          Try to focus on who shows up, and don't worry too much about who doesn't.

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          • #6
            Ours is the same way. We are very top heavy with officers, and at most events, more than half of the participants are the officers who planned the thing in the first place. I am suprised by our lack of attendance-when we moved here I didnt know a soul and got involved in the supper club, book club and playgroup. I wasnt sure where else to make friends- I always wonder what the other 300 resident spouses do for their social outlet. We have made some very good friends-both DH and I from being involved in it. I can see how I might outgrow it. I am probably not interested in being an officer next year.
            Mom to three wild women.

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            • #7
              PS If DH was on call I would probably come! We will have a rare Saturday night together as a family. When your DH spends his month over here, I really hope to get together.
              Mom to three wild women.

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              • #8
                Sue, my dh will be there for three months next year, and you can plan on my stopping by. He does three months at Ft. Gordon. We have a good friend also at MCG, so I will probably be down your way before too long!

                I totally understand about the rarity of the Saturday night at home. Your welcome to come to our next gig though!
                Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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                • #9
                  Thanks for the replies everyone! I will let you know how everything goes. Right now there are a few rooms with doors closed that are not going to get cleaned before everyone shows up!

                  Have fun, dammit!
                  That is exactly right, Nellie!
                  Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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                  • #10
                    Looking forward to hearing how things went!

                    Way to go!!!!!! Nice job!

                    Flynn

                    Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

                    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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                    • #11
                      Hope your party went great!

                      Jennifer, speaking of HOWA- Did you ever know Megan McCue or Keely? I left before their spouses finished and I wondered where they ended up.

                      Jennifer
                      Needs

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                      • #12
                        I know both of them. Megan ended up in Portland and Keely ended up in Milan, OH. I've been trying to reach Keely (I don't know Megan as well). Keely and I both moved the same week, and haven't gotten back in touch. I should know you then, because I was there before they joined, and left HOWA one year before they did. I can't think of another Jennifer in the group, though.

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                        • #13
                          I didn't officially join HOWA because I didn't find out about it until the fall of our last year. I went to a couple playgroups and the Halloween get together at Keely's house in 2003. Megan and I used to see each other at the gym and we were pregnant at the same time and due within a couple weeks of each other. Our husbands occasionally worked together, as well. Keely and I talked more because she was from Columbus and we were close to moving there. She probably won't remember me. It is fun hearing where everyone ends up.

                          Jennifer
                          Needs

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                          • #14
                            I didn't officially join HOWA because I didn't find out about it until the fall of our last year. I went to a couple playgroups and the Halloween get together at Keely's house in 2003. Megan and I used to see each other at the gym and we were pregnant at the same time and due within a couple weeks of each other. Our husbands occasionally worked together, as well. Keely and I talked more because she was from Columbus and we were close to moving there. She probably won't remember me. It is fun hearing where everyone ends up. Was there someone who had a son named Roan or Ronin? For some reason that is sticking out.

                            Jennifer
                            Needs

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                            • #15
                              I would have been there, too. Quinn would have been a mouse, and Jacob a teddy bear. You're thinking of Kerry's son Ronan - I'm good friends with her. They moved to Munster, IN in June. She has another boy now named Finn. I'm trying to remember who you might be, because I knew most of the people there very well.

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