The answer is blowing in the wind....

[Sheherezade]

How many of you have a husband that doesn't do lawn/yard care but claims that he does? DH is busy. We all know that. Somehow, he simply cannot accept the idea that he has no time to do maintenance jobs around the house. At least, he would rather spend the time he has doing other things. The problem is that we have so many little things that don't get done - and then our nice kind neighbors do them.

Right now, one of our neighbors is out blowing the leaves off my sidewalk and driveway. It seems someone is always "helping out" - like I'm some elderly widow. I do what I can myself, but when I'm out shovelling snow with Dan, Jim, Bob and Henry - all my neighbor husbands - I do feel a little strange. I've even had a few wives come out and tell me to take it easy on my back. Clearly - this is "man's work" round here -- and I'd be happy to leave it to DH if he would actually do it more than 5 times a year. We could get a service, but DH claims that he *does* all that work. I'm lucky if he gets the trash cans to the curb. Is this just my little soap opera? Does anyone else have this problem?

[PrincessFiona]

Yes...and the lawn problem stopped when I was pregnant and trying to drag around a rain train and mow the lawn, get rid of leaves etc. We hired a lawn man and never looked back! Now the lawn looks great!

As to the snow thing.....I'm right there with ya, Angie! Too bad I can't hire that out too. Brrrrr...I hate shoveling early in the morning!


kris

DH happily absolves himself of lawn responsibility and I pay someone to do it. I didn't mind doing the lawn in Denver because it took about 10 minutes with a push mower and I just left the clippings on the lawn. Here it grows like crazy and there is a lot more of it.

No snow....but our issue around here is the laundry. Yes, I am glad he does the laundry but I do a good amount, too. Always laundry to be done! Somehow he does "all" the laundry. Same thing with the trash.

How much to shovel the walk? I would rather mow than shovel.

[Phoebe]

Dh does do the garbage, it is his one job. I have to do it sometimes when he is on-call. He does mow the lawn, but not as often as I mow it. He does no other yard work. He doesn't shovel either and none of my neighbor's have to do the work because their husbands are around much more often. I was mowing the lawn the day before Ella was due and my neighbor came over and started yelling at me. I told her I was trying to jump start labor! It didn't work. Another interesting note is that most neighbors, although the lots are less than a 1/2 acre, have riding lawn mowers. We laugh because we don't and our backyard is very sloped so pushing the mower is a PITA!

I feel your pain!

Jennifer

[Sheherezade]

Do you think I could get my nine year old on some of this? I had him shovel last year, but it was such a teeny bit. Like the steps. And yet Arthur the Aardvark had a whole shovelling business. Hmmmmm. Makes you think, doesn't it?

DH will just step up his efforts if I make an issue - and then drop it again when the heat's off. *sigh* After 17 years together, I should be used to this. Our neighborhood is just so tidy - all those little picket fences. We are more the urban slum type. We're great at gentrification - just not upkeep.

I think your son should try following in Arthur's footsteps. At least on your house! That's a great idea.

[DCJenn]

and that is why we live in a co-op that has yard maintenance included as part of our fees.

We don't do a thing- mow, rake, shovel, trim, etc. It's well worth the homeowners association fees. Now, if only they'd finish the stupid roof and fix the hole in my ceiling.

Jenn

I pay crazy homeowners association fees and I can't figure out what the hell I pay for (besides the pool). DH finally acknowledged that he doesn't do yardwork, so now I pay a kid to do it (that acknowledgement was a LONG time coming, though). If we get enough snow to shovel, I'll pay the same kid to do that.

I love Jennifer out there mowing 9 months pregnant! I used to get shot dirty looks from the Orthodox Jews in my neighborhood -- both for mowing on a Saturday and wearing shorts.

[Cumberland]

I love doing our yard DH wants to hire a lawn guy to spruce up our new yard, and I dont want to. Now, give me a housekeeper any day. I used to put DD in the backpack and mow our half acre once a week. I despise going to the gym but I will pull weeds in 100 degree heat til I am near fainting.

[SueC]

Yes, I often find myself out shoveling amongst the men in our neighborhood. It seems like last year dh was on call during every major snow we had so I got stuck doing it. I also get stuck helping with my neighbor's yard--she is 85+ years old, walks by holding a cane and a broom, and will try to shovel her sidewalk by herself. I have to plead with her to go back inside and insist I will take care of it or she will continue to shovel away. Regarding mowing the grass, this summer we hired a neighbor kid to do it--best $20 every other week we ever spent!

[houseelf]

Yard work? Like Jennifer, DH's only regular household job is taking the trash to the curb, after I gather and bundle it. In the beginning of our marriage this disparity of work load caused a few "discussions". Now we have bigger fish to fry, quite frankly.

Fortunately, we are in an association (THANK GOD). If we weren't I'd hire someone to shovel the driveways for those *&%$$# Minnesota snows. The most beautiful sound in the world is heard after being woken up at 3 a.m. by the snow plow in your driveway. This is especially blissful knowing that both cars are housed warmly in your two car garage. (You'd have to live in Minnesota to truly understand the depths of this experience).

Anyway, I always see flyers up for people who are offer regular snow plow service. (And I've calculated child support of individuals who bring in an extra 4-10 grand a year through the simple enterprise of adding a snow plow to their truck and having a regular route). Kris, if you are reading this, call one of these people NOW!

But I digress....

Kelly

YES!!!!!
Dh got off having to do yardwork while he was training for the marathon, working FT, taking eveing classes and volunteering at the ER a couple years ago. He CLAIMS he started back to normal. WELL, in my book, normal means mowing more than once a month!

We are debating buying a condo or a house...I reminded him of all the shoveling and mowing that a house here involves. He "reminded" me of his always being the one to mow and shovel in VA...uh, we had 5 storms that required shoveling in the 10 years we were there and *I* did the majority of shoveling!

His excuse for the lawn thing is that I am a gardener

SO TRUE!!! Our neighbors to our left probably mowed their lawn 6 times since DH has mowed ours last (almost 2 months ago?). He hasn't raked the leaves once this fall season. Our neighbor to the right, an elderly man probably in his 70s, mows his lawn regularly. DH admits we should hire someone. But, he hasn't yet and he's being picky about it. DH has been out of med training for a few months now and works only 4 days/week. I hate mowing the lawn. Not to mention, I have 4 kids to tend to (6y,4y,2y,6mos). Shoveling is a similar situation. But I'll do it because otherwise I can't go anywhere. As others have said, DH's only household chore seems to be taking out the garbage. Maybe he does other household things but I can't think what else at the moment. Despite his lack of household help, I can't be too hard on him. He's a great father and helps out with the kids which is a big deal.

[SueC]

I wish I could say dh regularly takes out the garbage! It is about 50/50 here. IF he remembers and IF he has time on Monday morning, he does it--otherwise it's me.

My dh takes out the garbage, but passive-aggressively (is that a phrase?) will not take out the kitchen garbage if it's still in the can. Anything I've moved to the garage gets dragged to the curb, but if it's in the can (which is MAYBE 3.5 feet from the garage door) it does not go out.