does anyone else fantasize about....

[Flynn]

ha ha ha...made you look!

Seriously though, does anyone else wistfully wonder if there will EVER be a time where medicine will not INFECT their holiday??

Yesterday I was a woman possessed...I picked up our car in the shop, visited friends from out of town, braved the grocery store, went to the bank, made some dip for today, fed my kids, picked up the babysitter, threw myself together for a quick primp, went out with friends for a late dinner (DH met me there and THEN went back to the hospital), ALL BY MYSELF. I am woman hear me roar I say!!!

Well DH got in at 2 a.m. last night and then got paged four times. I'm up every time of course. He tells me at 5 a.m. today he needs to round and then he'll be home (he was unavailable all yesterday with a harvest/transplant so we didn't talk) and my three year old just woke up two hours early -- ready to tell me all about her evening with the babysitter.

So today so far I am not showered, haven't slept well, and trying not to be annoyed. I better have a good hair day -- I'm DUE!!!!!



On a positive note I had a great time with my friends -- my best guy friend from as far back as kindergarten, and his wife. It was nice to really "talk." Note to self, get a babysitter twice a month whether there is a reason or not!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! We may not have spouses who are always there but we try and celebrate anyway da&% IT!!!

Cheers!

[Vishenka69]

Yup. My parents, ILs and me were all waiting patiently until DH would come from the hospital last night. We were already salivating over the fully set table for about an hour when he came in and started talking about some cool case they did. It took me another half hour to convince him to change out of scrubs, so everyone can finally eat.

I finally realized that if I want him around for something, we better pick that week for his vacation.

[DCJenn]

Well, as in my previous post, we missed going to my parents house the night before thanksgiving (he made it home about 9pm), so we showed up on the morning of- bringing breakfast. Luckily the teenagers were all still sleeping and the grown-ups were all sucking on coffee so it turned out OK.

I used to keep a mental list of everything that my husband missed (I listed some on a previous post) but I can no longer remember all of them. Just the big ones like our first anniversary and his dad's funeral...

So, I fully expect the load of bs gto continue for as long as he's in medicine.

Jenn

[Amiens]

I still fantasize about it. Luckily how the schedule is made up this year- Matt didn't have to work Thanksgiving and won't have to work Christmas Eve or Day, but is on-call New Year's Eve and Day. How it works is you have to work one of the three "major" holidays. The partner who does the scheduling was sympathetic to the fact that I might have a baby around Christmas, and thus didn't schedule Matt, and then the other factor- this guy scheduled all the "non-alcohol" consuming docs to work New Year's. I would rather have Matt work New Year's than Christmas or Thanksgiving personally. Especially this year as I highly doubt I will be up for any New Year festivities given the fact that I will be a round the clock milk house at this point.

Crystal

[planet]

Is this crazy?

<Congratulations Crystal on your coming baby! Sorry to follow something so wonderful with a downer post>

Keep in mind my perspective may be skewed right now. I am sick. My mil just left after an eight day visit. We’re broke coming into holidays. Dh is on call.

Am I just losing perspective? Has anyone else out there thought through this process and come to a logical conclusion that it is a bad enough idea and we should get out while we can? This is hopefully mostly feverish thinking, but I wonder if leaving dh might be the best thing for us. We still love each other very much, he’s a great dad when he’s here. This lifestyle just seems so wrong. I think that maybe starting over from a good place might work. I worry that I’ll scar the kids by a) having minimal father figure present b) always buffering the absence of dad. I know it is intern year and in surgery. I know it is supposed to be bad. Contrary to the comments of some family and a couple of friends, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO, my psychic abilities are not THAT good. I don’t know. I just don’t know about this.

[DCJenn]

Knowing what you're getting into?

Noone does, my friend.

The medical life is all rumor and TV shows. Even the supposed Tv reality shows in Lifetime underplay the issues.

Hang tough, we're here. We (the collective iMSN family) are ALWAYS here.

Jenn

Re: Is this crazy?

Has anyone else out there thought through this process and come to a logical conclusion that it is a bad enough idea and we should get out while we can? This is hopefully mostly feverish thinking, but I wonder if leaving dh might be the best thing for us. We still love each other very much, he’s a great dad when he’s here. This lifestyle just seems so wrong. I think that maybe starting over from a good place might work. I worry that I’ll scar the kids by a) having minimal father figure present b) always buffering the absence of dad.

The lifestyle is wrong - especially in surgery (dh did his intern year in gen. surgery). But I sincerely don't think you'll avoid the potential scarring of the kids for having a minimal father figure present or buffering the absence of dad by ending a marriage completely. Those things would increase.

Believe me - the thought has crossed my mind on occasion - fleetingly, thankfully. (Okay, once or twice today, but he's home and it's for different reasons.)

[Amiens]

I worry that I’ll scar the kids by a) having minimal father figure present b) always buffering the absence of dad. I know it is intern year and in surgery. I know it is supposed to be bad. Contrary to the comments of some family and a couple of friends, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO, my psychic abilities are not THAT good. I don’t know. I just don’t know about this.

I don't think with any amount of knowledge anyone can fully prepare for the impact that intern year will have oneself or the family. I thought I was completely aware of how bad intern year was going to be, yet I still struggled immensely with the change, not to mention I was newly pregnant at the time- so talk about change upon change. I ended up seeing a counselor, which looking back I sometimes wished I had been able to speak to someone who understood the lifestyle. Nonetheless, the counseling helped me- but I am getting off topic.

As far as the children- I have found that my children have been resilient then again I don't know what they will be like when they are 30 years old. I want to believe that they haven't been scarred for life. Matt makes a hard effort to be present in their lives when he is not at work-- he is constantly wanting to do activities with the kids. I have to admit lately I am not so enthused, mainly because of my enlarged girth.

We do have our moments around here, and I try to talk to the children about them- help them learn words to express their feelings- my two are almost 4 and 2 1/2 years old. I get asked the same question EVERY morning- I think if I didn't get asked this question I would think my kids were sick- "Where is daddy?" Emma at times will say "Oh yeah he is at the hospital where he lives," even though he is working much less than during residency.

Crystal