Funny Country Song

I'm NOT a country music fan. Dixie Chicks and Lyle Lovett are as far as I go. The guy who cut my hair last week sings country music, and had it playing while he was cutting my hair (not the relaxing spa-thing I was hoping for). But I cracked up when the chorus of this song came on:

"Jesus loves you - but I don't."

I thought it was a riot.

What's your favorite (funny) song lyric - country or otherwise.

Another good one was:

"I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back crying over you."

Those are too funny!

I'm not a big fan of traditional country and western either.

I love to sleep and am not good at getting up early in the morning (my kids are helping me with that one). In high school, I had to wake up at 5:15am -- waaaayyyy to early for me. I developed the skill of sleeping through the clock radio and alarm. The solution? Set the clock radio to the country and western station -- I had to get up to turn it off. That only lasted for so long and eventually I was sleeping through that too. Fast forward to six years and working in retail hell for a boss who loved country western. I found myself signing along to the songs and knowing all the words. Must have been picked up while I was sleeping through it.

Eighteen-wheeler roll on...roll on.....

[twinsmom]

I actually like the new country music. Some words right off the top of my head:

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans"

I also love the Dixie chicks Christmas album - there is a song on there that cracks me up every time I hear it. The Music is so serene and calm, but the words are a couple in a huge fight, trying to one-up each other. Very funny... and fitting at times!

I also love an oldie but goody phrase, "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares."

I'm sure more will come to mind...

Jen B.

[Cumberland]

"There's no more trash in my trailer cause I already threw her out"

[DCJenn]

I've always liked:

"I shaved my legs for this?"

Jenn

[houseelf]

How can you not love country music, people? I mean, doesn't it speak about the life that we are living?

I do it all: David Alan Coe, Alan Jackson, Vince Gill, George Straight, the Chicks, Randy Travis, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Martina McBride, Trisha Yearwood, Garth, Tammy Wynette....

The one piece of bubblegum country that I can't take is Rascal Flatts. They're just really awful. If you haven't heard them, imagine if you took the Backstreet Boys, aged them 15 years, added paunches, and then had them sing uber cheesy love songs with a country twang. Yuck!

Kelly

[fluffhead]

There was a NYC radio station which played rock and roll in the 70s and 80s and had a TV commercial mocking other stations. The way they mocked country music was with a song that went
"I want to marry my horse....but I can't afford the bridal suite"

disclaimer - I actually don't mind old country music e.g. willie, hank, marty robbins, etc. But the new glitzy stuff I can do without.

[Rapunzel]

Ahhh, my favorite country song of all time:

I got a little change in my pocket going jingle lingle ling
want to call you on the telephone baby I give you a ring
but each time we talk I get the same old thing
always no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding ring
my honey my baby don't put my love upon no shelf
she said don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

Cruel baby baby baby why you want to treat me this way
you know I'm still your lover boy I still feel the same way
that's when she told me a story 'bout free milk and a cow
and she said no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding vow
my honey my baby don't put my love upon no shelf
she said don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

you see I wanted her real bad and I was about to give in
that's when she started talkin' true love started talkin' about sin
I said honey I'll live with you for the rest of my life
she said no huggin no kissin until you make me your wife
my honey my baby don't put my love on no shelf
she don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself.

And, I always liked the line, "All my exes live in Texas. That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee."

How about:

"Tequila makes her clothes fall off."

prose, I say!

[Michele]

"My long hair just can't hide my red-neck"

[Sheherezade]

"Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life...."

Gotta love country lyrics!

[houseelf]

Regarding the medical lifestyle:

"I'm going back to a better class of losers"

Artist/Band: Travis Randy

I'm getting out of this high-rise penthouse suite
Where we pretend life's rosy and sweet
I'm going back to the folks that I used to know
Where everyone is what they seems to be

And these high-class friends that you like to hang around
When they look my way they're always looking down
I'm tired of spending every dime I make
To finance this way of life I've learned to hate

I'm going back to a better class of loser
This up-town living's really got me down
I need friends who don't pay their bills on home computers
And who buy their coffee beans already ground
You think it's disgraceful that they drink three-dollar wine
But a better class of loser suits me fine

You say the grass is greener on the other side
From where I stand I can't see grass at all
And the concrete and the steel won't change the way you feel
It takes more than caviar to have a ball

I'm going back to a better class of loser
This up-town living's really got me down
I need friends who don't pay their bills on home computers
And who buy their coffee beans already ground
You think it's disgraceful that they drink three-dollar wine
But a better class of loser suits me fine

You think it's disgraceful that they drink three-dollar wine
But a better class of loser suits me fine

Country Musice

OMG these are hysterical! I really need to start listening to Country Music.

'Course, come to think of it we are moving to Tennessee in June.....