Man jobs...

[Vanquisher]

My furnace is not working, again. It is really cold in here. The transmission in my car is not shifting into overdrive on the freeway.

I cannot afford repairs for either.

Okay, so I know my dh is smart and all, and that he is a "dawkter." Why the hell can't he do anything around the house? I am so frustrated. So, not only does he not know how to do typical stereotyped man jobs (yard, cars, house,etc.), he doesn't have time to help me figure them out, and we don't have any money to hire someone who does freaking know! Ugh. So, now I am sitting in my freezing house waiting for my daughter to wake up so that I can go up to her room where the attic access is and crawl up there and try to do a temporary fix again. I can't wake her up to do it because then she will be cranky all day, and I really don't need that too.

On top of which I have to take my son out of school today to take him to the pediatrician to get a prescription (Singulair) for a problem we already know about and how to fix in him (asthma cough). So, not only can he not do jobs around the house, he can't do freaking dawkter jobs for our kids! GRRRRR!

Don't know what to do about my car. Dad says (from 2000 miles away) that if we need the transmission fixed it is usually a minimum of $1500 to do, usually a lot more. #&@*$!!!!!!! I can't even put that much on a credit card. They are all FULL! No one will lend us any money because of dh's stinking student loan debt. Even physician programs say that we have too much debt (they have student debt caps). We don't have enough equity built up in our house for anything. I already have a job. What more can I do??

My Christmas tree still is not decorated. My daugther keeps pointing to it and saying, "Tree. Outside." Yup. Might as well be.

Help. :titanic:

[rainbabies]

[Vanquisher]

Annie,

Thanks for the advice. My dh has already asked his chair about moonlighting. It is not allowed in their program at all except for disability exams at the VA. They are not allowed to do this until they are PGY-3's and then only when they are not apart of the junior call schedule. They are not a part of the junior call schedule for just three months during an away rotation they do in Augusta. We are looking at October 2006 or January of 2007 at the earliest for this.

Dh asked the chair if he could start doing them ealier, just one day a month. Just a few hours, like 2-4. The chair said no one has ever asked to do them this early before, and he will have to think about it. The hours spent there count in your 80 hours. So, theoretically, there isn't time. Not that it matters when we are talking about the 100+ hours he already works, but I digress. Anyway, so the chair is thinking about it, and dh is supposed to ask him again today. Dh seriously doubts that the chair will allow it at all.

Some of the ER guys here do moonlighting in rural areas, but there is a policy against it in the ortho program and you have to have permission in writing to do it. It sucks ass. It literally takes me 2 months of working 20 hours a week to earn what my dh can in 4 hours of moonlighting, and they get to dictate that he can't do it. It pisses me off.

I need my dad to come do a handyman visit.

[DCJenn]

My husband isn't allowed to moonlight either. (The military frowns on their trainees moonlighting- and he's not licensed for DC/MD/VA, either) I can't wait until he can moonlight, though.

As for handyman stuff- I call my dad. Seriously- after Rick nearly sawed his finger off removing a hose from the washing machine (and when I asked him exactly what the thought process was behind THAT brilliant move, he told me that he really didn't want to talk about it...) I told my dad that until he's more of a health risk than my husband, he's going to do all of my handyman stuff. and once we move- he better be prepared to bring his tool box.

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

Heidi, I feel your pain. I'll spare you my hijack though:

Take the car to a mom and pop shop...not a dealer. We had a car problem shortly after moving here and the dealer wanted to charge us to take out the entire engine "just to see" what was wrong. Fortunately, my dad came to visit and he started calling all of these 'hole-in-the-wall' fix-it places..He took our car out and had it fixed for ~$200....We would have paid the dealer thousands of dollars on a car that wasn't even worth that much.

We hit that debt point too during training...dh was also not allowed to moonlight during residency and it was really hard.

Do you guys have any resident friends that are handy? Maybe you could get someone to come out and help fix the house stuff for some beer/pizza?

I wonder how far away Matt Kevin, or fluffhead live? :>

[Vanquisher]

Heidi, I feel your pain. I'll spare you my hijack though:

Take the car to a mom and pop shop...not a dealer. We had a car problem shortly after moving here and the dealer wanted to charge us to take out the entire engine "just to see" what was wrong. Fortunately, my dad came to visit and he started calling all of these 'hole-in-the-wall' fix-it places..He took our car out and had it fixed for ~$200....We would have paid the dealer thousands of dollars on a car that wasn't even worth that much.

We hit that debt point too during training...dh was also not allowed to moonlight during residency and it was really hard.

Do you guys have any resident friends that are handy? Maybe you could get someone to come out and help fix the house stuff for some beer/pizza?

I wonder how far away Matt Kevin, or fluffhead live? :>

Anyone who is willing to help me out is totally welcome. I will babysit kids!! Unfortunately, I know no one who is handy. I only know numbers out of the yellow pages, and I doubt they will work for pizza and beer.

As for the mom and pop shop, I believe that was the price my dad was referring to. He used to work as a mechanic for a mom and pop shop (my grandfather's before he died) on the side and in the summers when he wasn't teaching. He would never take a car to a dealer. I think transmisions are wicked expensive and you have to take them out to fix them. I don't know. I will make a couple of calls today and see if I can get some esitmates. Our car is so not worth being serviced in a dealership. It is probably only worth $3000 for the whole car, without a transmission problem. THe other car has no air conditioning and the cost to fix that ($1000) is worth more than that car (dh's commuter car - a two-door with very minimal backseat).

We did one car (the two-door) most of the way through med school, and I don't think we could do it again. We just don't live close enough to anything, and there is NO public transportation. If dh worked normal hours, I could drive him in, but...

[Vanquisher]

That just makes me angry to no end. We're not going to pay you even minimum wage...but we won't allow you to make any extra money...your family can just...starve and freeze...and you damn well better just smile and say thank you. What a bunch of asses! I wish we could just freeze that attending's income for couple weeks while he thinks about it. What's a couple of hours a month when we are all willing to look the other way regarding the 80 hours?!? You can't have it both ways.

Yeah, I know. If my dh (or any of your dh's) ever act this way when he is an attending, I will kick his ass. I just don't get it.

[Vishenka69]

The only "manly" task DH is capable of doing is taking out the garbage. I have to call my dad (or one of our friends) to change the lightbulbs (even I know how to do that but our ceilings are too high for me to reach). Seriously. Kind of helps that I'm daddy's little girl, so he drops everything and runs over to our place to do whatever handy work needs to be attended to.

This is one of the reasons I don't want to buy a house. Hiring someone to do every little thing will cost more than mortgage.

[houseelf]

Hi Heidi,

When you call the mom-pop mechanics, don't forget to negotiate. Be honest about what you can afford and see if they will set up a payment plan.

Kelly

[Sheherezade]

We lost our transmission in residency. It cost us close to $3000 bucks at a local mechanic...and it was just the first of the problems with that car. Luckily, we had the credit cards. It stayed on them until we sold our house and could use the profits to dig out of debt. Have you tried having your credit limit extended? Sometimes the card company will do this if you have a decent payment history. We thought our transmission was going on our van, but it turned out to be the EGR valve - only $300. Much better than $3000! So....you should get it checked out in case the situation isn't as dire as you think.

As for the moonlighting, it isn't allowed under the 80 hour work week regulations (counts towards them) at the same institution. Could he talk to the program director about picking up work at a different hospital, clinic or office? I'm guessing the PDs primary concern is the hours and regulations. Maybe if your husband explained the situation (as in we have no heat and no money or credit to fix it) the PD could come up with some options. In res and fellowship, there were always these tangental jobs that people talked about - but only a few actually did them.

As to the heater.....I'm betting you could get credit from the repair place if it's a heating and cooling company. We have a contract with one now, and I'd assume they'd offer payment plans for a major repair if you didn't have a service contract. I know the last thing you need is more debt, but...heat is good in the winter. Maybe it is something simple? A $200 repair you could pay off over three months? Here's hoping.

Ask around to see if the local high school shop teacher or community college mechanics program would like a project, maybe even see if any of the really competent students would like to take it on?

[Vanquisher]

Hi Heidi,

When you call the mom-pop mechanics, don't forget to negotiate. Be honest about what you can afford and see if they will set up a payment plan.

Kelly

Thanks. I can't afford anything. Think anyone will do it pro bono? I really, really suck at negotiating. How much do you want? Really? OK.

[Vanquisher]

We thought our transmission was going on our van, but it turned out to be the EGR valve - only $300. Much better than $3000! So....you should get it checked out in case the situation isn't as dire as you think.

As for the moonlighting, it isn't allowed under the 80 hour work week regulations (counts towards them) at the same institution. Could he talk to the program director about picking up work at a different hospital, clinic or office? I'm guessing the PDs primary concern is the hours and regulations. Maybe if your husband explained the situation (as in we have no heat and no money or credit to fix it) the PD could come up with some options. In res and fellowship, there were always these tangental jobs that people talked about - but only a few actually did them.

As to the heater.....I'm betting you could get credit from the repair place if it's a heating and cooling company. We have a contract with one now, and I'd assume they'd offer payment plans for a major repair if you didn't have a service contract. I know the last thing you need is more debt, but...heat is good in the winter. Maybe it is something simple? A $200 repair you could pay off over three months? Here's hoping.

Oh, I can only hope it is a $300 problem and not a $3000 dollar one. That extra zero would kill us. Well I would be stuck at home eternally, because there is just no way.

Dh is talking to the program director again today. I told dh that he HAS to figure out something and really impress upon the director that we need this money. We have no heat and our car is broken. Something has to work. It isn't an option. Dh has no spine when it comes to things like this.

I didn't know heating and cooling companies had payment plans, but that will definitely be something to look into. Thanks!

[Vanquisher]

Ask around to see if the local high school shop teacher or community college mechanics program would like a project, maybe even see if any of the really competent students would like to take it on?

That is a great idea. I would have never thought of that.

Thanks.

For the moonlighting - you might suggest dh check around for research projects that need chart reviews. Mine did that during residency and got $25 per chart to look for various data, note it and sign off. It was something he could do quickly and w/o adding to the "hours" total. Maybe a possibility?

You might also look on craigslist or freecycle for someone willing to barter for services. Heater repair for babysitting or something along those lines? It's a long shot, but sometimes those things work.

My dh is actually pretty handy, needs some nudging, but can be useful. I hope you can find someone!