intern year

[Flynn]

Peter said:

Not sure why this thread got going again, but intern year still sucks. Seriously, I feel so calous. I don't care who is having a heart attack, or what the *heck* ever they have. Tell someone else and come home already.
_________________
Peter - Spouse to PGY-1(anestheisa) & SAHD to 15 month Old! - Btw..anyone that chooses medicine needs a psyc consult for themselves.

I especially like your new signature...about a psyc consult. so true


Peter -- I remember in one of my VERY low moments (I still cringe as I think back) how I momentarily was EXCITED DH was coming home before 10 because their emergent patient died on the table and he wasn't on call so he got to come home. Now THAT's calous.

Hang in there Peter. Your boys are reaping the benefits of your MAJOR sacrifice.

[Sheherezade]

I remember this crisis point myself. It's a major turning point in a relationship with an MD. Here's my moment: Standing on a curb in West Philly at 10 pm waiting....and waiting......and waiting for DH to pick me up from the lab. No call, no car. I spent a few hours playing on the computers in the empty lab until he showed up. "Stuck in surgery unable to call" he said. I'd hear that over and over for many years. I realized that I would never come first. Sure, I was standing on a curb alone in an iffy part of town - but my competition was bleeding to death on a table in the OR. I vowed to never become some harpy screaming "I DON"T CARE IF SHE"S BLEEDING TO DEATH!!! YOU GET TO THIS PIANO RECITAL OR I"LL KILL YOU!!" into a cell phone. I'm not that jaded yet....but I have been close on occassion.

I remember in one of my VERY low moments (I still cringe as I think back) how I momentarily was EXCITED DH was coming home before 10 because their emergent patient died on the table and he wasn't on call so he got to come home. Now THAT's calous.

I've been there. I remember thinking, "Damn cat, haven't you used up all of your lives?!? Die already!!!". I suppose the fact that I never actually snuck into the hospital and slipped the cat the pink juice means I still have a conscience. I think...

[planet]

As wierd as this sounds, intern year has gotten better for us. Well, not that it got better so much as we have both adapted to the hours and unpredictability better. We have some challenges that have little to do with the surgery internships, but things are okay. Some big changes from only a few months ago:
He no longer feels the need to answer each page when he is out of the hospital. Unless it is something he is expecting that is very important he now will finish our conversation and excuse himself before getting on the phone. Basically he relearned manners.
I do not expect him to participate in anything. This sunk in to a very deep level. The flip side to that internal change is that when he makes it to something it is no longer 'hallelluya! Alert the media! Let's party' and is more like 'Hi. Nice to see you honey.'
He made a huge effort to bring me into his world. He did this out of the blue in early January and has kept up since. When he has time he invites us for lunch at the hospital or will even run out and eat with us in the car if he can. I don't change our plans to join him unless it is convenient. He also figured out and showed me how to send him text messages to his pager. This keeps him feeling more in touch with us and lets me feel like he has me with him in his pocket.
He tells me often how much he appreciates me and my efforts and support. Thank yous go a long way. The frequency of them has turned out to be more important to me than I thought it would. I feel appreciated.

I think I would describe internship year to a student/spouse as akin to facing a marathon. I also think, from my experience and reading about others' experiences, that it just varies so much by program, specialty, personality, etc....

He also figured out and showed me how to send him text messages to his pager.

I could have kissed the nerd that invented Alphanumeric pagers....that was our form of communication for about 2.5 years.


It does feel nice to be appreciated doesn't it! Sounds like a good man.

[HeartRN]

Kelly wrote:

Oh yeah, the 80 hour work week does NOT include DH's continued pursuit of his PhD, his extracurricular surgery committee work, fellowship application and interviews, and all the other happy b.s. he "elects" to add on.

Um gee Kelly, isn't there a pill you can give him? I mean ENOUGH already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, there's no pill available...the only upside for us is that DH didn't choose surgery. He is SOOOOO finished after he completes this "second" fellowship.....unless he opts to get another PhD or something.....can a person do that??? If so, I'm outta here.... :!

BTW, We lived apart during his intern year...I went to nursing school in St Louis, he was in Chicago. I had a great time reliving my first college days. :~