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bi-tri-religious quandry
Danielle,
Your question is timely for us. We are now both Jewish, having started out Unitarian and Jewish but our religious beliefs come from our life experiences. We both have serious doubts about the validity of many religious beliefs because of the various unfortunacies (is that a word?) that have been and are being wrought in the world in religions' name, but have tried to wisely accumulate and understand the broader ranges of human purpose.
However, try telling that to a 9 and 5 year old. We are facing an interesting situation now. Our 5 year old has been completely inundated with Christian symbolism and belief at her school (which is secular) and she is the only Jewish child. We decided a while ago to concentrate on the Jewish framework so far as to give the girls some grid or structure on which to hang their hats. That is, doing a good deed for what purpose? Can we have a rich custom life, with music and lights and dancing etc? We both love Jewish tradition but disagree with some of the ancient attitudes.
But, back to the kid. She now feels very deeply that we are very unfortunate to be Jewish since Christmas gets so much attention and Hanukkah is unknown. To her, we are obviously doing something wrong by not being like everyone else. Today she was playing Baby Jesus and wondering if wise men would come and bring her gifts and if angels would come and sing to HER since they came to baby Jesus.
We have been handling this by first telling her the story of both occasions, since they are very different celebrations that happen to both have adopted the pagan timing of the Winter's solstice. One is not in place of the other. We tell her about the great people of history, who have been members of many different beliefs and religions and finally, we try to bring her into the richness that we feel with many of the Jewish ceremonies and customs. Also, I visited her class and did a two-day project time on Hanukkah, D'walli and Kwanzaa, just to give the kids some idea of other cultures and ways. I have to tell myself she is only 5 after all, and like my husband, and myself she may later choose a decidedly different path.
Our 9 year old, the crusader for social justice, has a whole different take on the whole thing and has decided to be proud to be Jewish, I think mainly because she is the only one in her school as well. She also fell in love with the music of the synagogue and ceremonies very early on and loves the atmosphere in the synagogue and the emphasis on learning. To her it is something a little mysterious and asks for further study.
Customary religious preference is so prevalent in American society that the question of how-to is really complex if there is any deviation from a single belief family. (IMHO) It is really a can-'o'-worms question!
Danielle,
Your question is timely for us. We are now both Jewish, having started out Unitarian and Jewish but our religious beliefs come from our life experiences. We both have serious doubts about the validity of many religious beliefs because of the various unfortunacies (is that a word?) that have been and are being wrought in the world in religions' name, but have tried to wisely accumulate and understand the broader ranges of human purpose.
However, try telling that to a 9 and 5 year old. We are facing an interesting situation now. Our 5 year old has been completely inundated with Christian symbolism and belief at her school (which is secular) and she is the only Jewish child. We decided a while ago to concentrate on the Jewish framework so far as to give the girls some grid or structure on which to hang their hats. That is, doing a good deed for what purpose? Can we have a rich custom life, with music and lights and dancing etc? We both love Jewish tradition but disagree with some of the ancient attitudes.
But, back to the kid. She now feels very deeply that we are very unfortunate to be Jewish since Christmas gets so much attention and Hanukkah is unknown. To her, we are obviously doing something wrong by not being like everyone else. Today she was playing Baby Jesus and wondering if wise men would come and bring her gifts and if angels would come and sing to HER since they came to baby Jesus.
We have been handling this by first telling her the story of both occasions, since they are very different celebrations that happen to both have adopted the pagan timing of the Winter's solstice. One is not in place of the other. We tell her about the great people of history, who have been members of many different beliefs and religions and finally, we try to bring her into the richness that we feel with many of the Jewish ceremonies and customs. Also, I visited her class and did a two-day project time on Hanukkah, D'walli and Kwanzaa, just to give the kids some idea of other cultures and ways. I have to tell myself she is only 5 after all, and like my husband, and myself she may later choose a decidedly different path.
Our 9 year old, the crusader for social justice, has a whole different take on the whole thing and has decided to be proud to be Jewish, I think mainly because she is the only one in her school as well. She also fell in love with the music of the synagogue and ceremonies very early on and loves the atmosphere in the synagogue and the emphasis on learning. To her it is something a little mysterious and asks for further study.
Customary religious preference is so prevalent in American society that the question of how-to is really complex if there is any deviation from a single belief family. (IMHO) It is really a can-'o'-worms question!
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