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Whiners and complainers

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  • Whiners and complainers

    Okay, so I am about to be a huge hypocrite. I never really said that I wasn't one though, now did I?

    I am so sick of people complaining about their work hours, how hard they work, how long their days are, etc. Not us, BTW, we have the right to complain and loudly!!

    It happens everywhere I go.

    The cashier at the store - "Oh, I put in 10 hours of overtime last week, I'm sooo tired."

    My mom regarding my brother - "He has two jobs now and is working himself to death. He works 60 hours a week now and barely gets enough sleep." Wah, boo-hoo, cry me a river, it is about freaking time, says I. He is 26 and living at home with you, divorced, ex-addict, with a son he doesn't support.

    Most recently one of my friends -

    One of the soldiers we helped with food and gifts for Christmas was supposed to give me the names of some other needy soldiers before December 22. He called me late on Dec. 23 saying that he had the names of these guys and was ready to come pick up some of the toys I had leftover. Well, I was off that day, overwhelmed with trying to catch up on Christmas prep around the house. So I politely reminded him that I was off, and that I had asked him to get that info to me sooner. I worked so many unpaid hours through December, that when the 23rd arrived, it was family time and I was not going back to work until after Christmas. I felt guilty about that, but these guys had plenty of notice on getting their info to me, and if they didn't do it in time, well...I'm sorry!

    So, the holidays are over and I've basically forgotten about this guy. But out of the blue, he called me on my cell phone today, telling me that they're having a meeting at the armory and these guys want to get their Christmas stuff now. I was like, WTH???

    First, I wanted to say, "Don't call me on my cell phone unless it's an emergency", and...

    2: "Don't call me on the weekend, period, unless someone is dying!"

    When I told him I was off this weekend, he's like, "Well, I know the sergeant's got a key to your office. We can just go in and let them get what they want." I told him that wasn't acceptable, not only because it's an invasion of privacy, but some of the donated items are already set aside for other families so they couldn't just go and grab stuff without my being there to tell them what's available. Then I started to feel guilty, thinking, well...it's only five miles away...I could go up later today and give them some stuff. So, I told him that and we hung up.

    But when I told DH, he blew a gasket and said no way. If they didn't get their names in on time, that is their problem, not mine, and if they want assistance, they can come see me during normal business hours. He's right. I work so much as it is, and frankly, Christmas is over. Why do they really need toys now?

    So, I called the soldier back and apologized, telling him I wasn't going to be able to come today after all. He got an attitude about it, and that ticked me off. I remained professional with him on the phone, but I had to to DH after we hung up! I get so tired of dealing with younger enlisted men who seem to think that anyone who works for the government owes them something and should drop everything to fit their agenda...despite the fact that their "problem" wouldn't exist had they simply followed instructions in the first place! But then my sympathetic side kicks in and and I feel bad for them, because I know they're financially strapped.

    As much as I hate to admit caring so much about others' opinions, it bothers me that these guys are probably really ticked off at me now. They're linked to the one SGT I told you about a while back, who tried to shut down the wives' book group we had last fall. He's probably really going to be on my case now that I failed to help out his buddies.

    I feel that it's completely inappropriate to expect me to come in on my day off to play Santa Claus two weeks after Christmas. But I don't understand why I still feel guilty about not going in today.
    Get off your fricking butt, do a little extra work, and help out some kids getting some toys. Just because someone didn't get it in on the deadline.... I would have done it on the 23rd! It is only 5 minutes from her house!!!

    On the other hand, Chad says that she shouldn't have to go in when it isn't business hours. He has to take calls when he is "off" because if he doesn't people can be harmed. This isn't something that cannot wait, and the guy should have got his request in on time.

    Why does this stuff irk me so much? I need to find some zen in a bad way. I think I am growing more bitter by the second. Does this stuff irk you too, or am I wound up so tight that , to quote Ferris Beuller, "If you put a lump of coal up my ass, in two weeks you would have a diamond."?
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.



  • #2
    Is it urgent? No. But "to help needy soldiers" ... she won't go 5 minutes out of her way? Yeah - the guy should plan ahead and adhere to normal business hours, but unless this particular fellow or group have a history of making outlandish requests, then suck it up! Remember "needy soldiers"? This is how we treat our troops??

    C'mon!

    edited to add: If you get that diamond thing to work out, let us know. All our $ problems could be solved!

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    • #3
      ...I feel that it's completely inappropriate to expect me to come in on my day off to play Santa Claus two weeks after Christmas...
      Sure, I completely understand.....just think about how those kids feel that Santa didn't bring them SOMETHING, along with the fact that there Dad/Mom was __________. (insert military item here).

      I can completely understand :disappointed:


      I agree, for a five mile drive......please.
      Get off your fricking butt, do a little extra work, and help out some kids getting some toys

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      • #4
        Thank you for the validation everyone. I knew I was right! :>

        I love this place!
        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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        • #5
          I would have gone in, too. My impression from the message was that *her husband* told her she shouldn't. Is that correct? I think sometimes it is easier to write off extra effort for someone else's job that it is for your own. I wonder if he would have gone in if the toys-to-soldiers gig had been his responsibility, not hers. I doubt his conscience would be guilt free for writing it off.

          Everybody whines about their job hours at some point, no matter how short or long. I find it annoying when it's constant, but I cut people some slack if it's only now and then. (Also, if their job is particularly thankless or boring.) At least our spouses *like* what they do - and at least most SAHP have chosen their lot in life. That offers some consolation when they feel like their time is overextended. I always feel for the middle aged waitresses at "family restaurants". I imagine they have kids to support and a sucky job. Their hours are probably better than an MD in training, but where is the hope on the other end? Sometimes, pulling extra hours on that type of job probably is a soul-sucking proposition. I'd take their whining over DHs after a 100 hour week. He's got hopes and professional fufillment - and respect from others.
          Angie
          Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
          Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

          "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Whiners and complainers

            Originally posted by hlj25950

            Why does this stuff irk me so much? I need to find some zen in a bad way. I think I am growing more bitter by the second. Does this stuff irk you too, or am I wound up so tight that , to quote Ferris Beuller, "If you put a lump of coal up my ass, in two weeks you would have a diamond."?
            I have realized that most people simply can not fathom the hours physicians work and the years in which they work those hours and when WE complain, it goes in one ear and out the other. I honestly believe people think we are "rich dawker's wives sittin on our booties eatin bon bon's without a care in the world."

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