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missing birthdays

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  • #1

    missing birthdays

    I say this as a question and ONLY a question.
    I'm NOT having a pity party here!

    It's my birthday today and DH is on call. He left at 5:30 and got held up with a transplant. I won't see him until tomorrow. Today was supposed to be a light day but hey -- I've been down that road before (um a million times) and I KNEW something would come up. I'm a tiny bit bummed but not surprised.

    My question: how many years of training have you done with your spouse/partner (residency only) and how many birthdays have you spent alone?

    We're about to finish our 7th clinical year but we had two years in the lab.

    Clinical birthdays missed: 6 for 7
    Lab time birthdays missed: 0 for 2

    So in the last 9 years my DH has been with me three times on my birthday.

    I KNOW I'm not alone here -- anyone?
    Flynn

    Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I'm not keeping track. (How depressing that would be!)

    That said, I think Jenn P. used my last birthday as an example in her first Dawkter's Wife column. We went out to a nice birthday lunch alone, he got paged to emergency surgery and had to drop me off at the edge of our town to walk home alone. Carrying his computer and clothes in a briefcase so he could "save time" at the hospital getting in to the OR. Very glam. He's an attending - and it still happens. Bleh.

    That said, he has done some stand out birthdays for me when he's been around. One surprise party in his MS-1 and a very sweet family party during fellowship. When he makes it, he does it up right.


    HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLYNN!!!!!

    I hope you reschedule. You deserve a real birthday.
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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    • #3
      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

      I hope you have a great make-up birthday.

      We've done two years and he's 1 for 2. Last year I layed on the couch, watched TV and didn't answer my phone because I couldn't stand to answer the inquiries about what I was doing for my birthday: NOTHING.

      This year, I hijacked DH's debit card and bought my brother a plane ticket to visit. I told DH what he got me for my birthday and we were all able to go out to dinner together.
      Gwen
      Mom to a 12yo boy, 8yo boy, 6yo girl and 3yo boy. Wife to Glaucoma specialist and CE(everything)O of our crazy life!

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      • #4
        Happy birthday, Flynn!!

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        • #5
          Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!
          My wedding anniversary and my birthday are the same day, and have missed more than half.
          Luanne
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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          • #6


            I'm sorry. Happy Birthday!!!!

            kris
            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ladybug

              DH is not a planner. Sometimes is really bugs me, but it's always been this way. If I want to do something fun I have to do all the planning myself. Most the time I don't mind because I do a much better job, but a little surprise every once in a while would be nice.
              Yeah, here either. What I do is countdown mode. It is not subtle, but it works. 10 days till our Anniversary. Do you have something planned? I know the answer to this is, no, but it helps. Usually he we will say, "You will have to wait and see." This means, I have to cover my ass and pretend I might have something planned. I do this until he says something along the lines of, "Yes, I have something planned, but you will have to wait to see what it is." Or, he will say something like, "I know it is in two days, I have something planned, quit asking me! I remember our Anniversary."

              Very subtle difference, but a girl has got to do what a girl has to do.

              My anniversaries and birthdays have been very nontriumphant since we have been married to say the least. His birthday is two days after mine which makes for a shared celebration, and even that doesn't happen all the time. I don't keep track. It would be too depressing.

              This year is our 10th Anniversary though, and as I think it is an important one, I may need some stealth iMSN covert operations to clue him in as to what to do. I might need help in that department for what I should do as well. We have never even exchanged anniversary gifts, but this year I think we should. Something besides a card, I mean.
              Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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              • #8
                Happy Birthday Flynn!

                1/1 here.

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                • #9
                  :ra: :football: :ra:
                  !!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

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                  • #10
                    ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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                    • #11
                      Happy Birthday Flynn!!!

                      DH didn't miss any in med school, although he proposed for one of them, and I still feel shorted on an actual birthday present. In the past 3 residency years he's had to work during all of them. Once he had my friends throw me a suprise birthday party (he felt guilty for being too busy to do anything himself), once my parents took me out and last year I picked him up from weekend shift to rush to dinner (and still waiting for a present 5 months later). Curious what this year will bring.

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                      • #12
                        Happy Birthday!

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                        • #13
                          Happy, happy birthday.

                          Kelly
                          In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                          • #14
                            Happy Birthday!!!
                            We've missed my birthday AND his for the last 2 years. Fortunately for him, his is 3 days before Christmas, so it's easy to make up for. Mine is in the middle of October, there's no holiday to bundle it with except maybe Halloween, and that's a 2-week stretch. I'm turning 30 this year and will be pretty upset if he misses it, but I know I have great girlfriends who will do a fantastic job of distracting me with their company, food and wine.

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                            • #15
                              I hope you had a good birthday Flynn!


                              (edited to remove hijack)

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