Call schedule

[alison]

Dh is Q4 this month in the nicu. He comes home very tired and sleeps most of the time when he's around. I don't know how we're going to move at the end of this month. He's a total zombie!

Can't wait until this month is over and he only has 15, 10-hour ER shifts next month! And get this: he's clumping them into 2 1/2 weeks at the start of June. YAY!!!

What is your call schedule this month? Is it a good month or a bad month?

[SueC]

This month is awesome, last month and the month before that totally sucked. I don't think my dh is on call again until next year (which by that I mean July 1), so we are enjoying having him around. Of course, last night he didn't get home until 7pm, so I guess it isn't that fantastic. Sounds like your dh is going to have to rally at the end of the month to get you guys moved--any way you can bribe or hire some help?

[Vanquisher]

Call schedule is always Q4. Some weeks are better than others because they don't rotate specifically on Q4. He has 8-10 calls per month with December and January having the most call because of vacation.

It's pretty much always a bad month here. VA is not bad because he gets to come home a little earlier when he is not on call. Post call doesn't seem to exist here - just a normal work day.

We get 1-2 weekends free of call per month. That is our only freetime. However, he always has to read and prepare presentations for pre-op conference every Monday. Those weekends never have enough time in them for everything.

I hate residency. I am so sick of it. I am in a low place right now with it all.

June 18th is the end of the year graduation dinner. Required attendance. Fancy-pants bull shit. If my husband doesn't keep me on a tight leash, I am in danger of blowing up that building, I swear to Maude.

Last night my hubby had a RARE moment where he could come home. He gets here at 3:00 p.m. Life should be great, right? He gets in the door, and another resident pages him to go see a table saw injury, because even though the other resident is on call, he is in the OR. DH leaves, and basically takes call and does consults for this guy for 4 hours. 2 hours into it though, he is out of the OR and neglects to tell my DH who had to stay in the ER and cover his stupid call. I can't even get a good thing. Everytime, it is taken away. Then dh had to go out to dinner with the residents because their research resident is leaving and going to Brooklyn to say goodbye. All his "freetime" is theirs. He is owned, and I don't even know him anymore.

I hate this. I need to stop now before I say too much. Too late.

[SueC]

That really sucks Heidi, for what it's worth I think you have a right to be bitter. Dare I ask how many years he has left? Hopefully not many for your sake!

[alison]

Keep going, Heidi. This was meant to let us all get "it" out.

Dh and I got in a BIG fight last night. It got to the point where he told me I don't support him enough, that residency is an investment that we BOTH have to make for a better life later (he's right on both of these points). I was furious though (mostly because I was being a royal PTA) and told him that too bad his mom didn't get to witness this fight, because then she'd finally understand that I didn't just marry him because he's a doctor!!! Which of course opened up the mil bag of worms that should have been left alone... GRRRR. One of those stress-fights.

[alison]

And yes, how much longer does he have left? Remind us.
Sending good vibes your way.

[Vanquisher]

Three more years as of July 1st. Then probably a one year fellowship.

2 out of 5 or 6 down doesn't sound nearly far enough.

[houseelf]

Heidi,

I've been where you are and it sucks, sucks, sucks. Don't let anyone tell you different. DH had 4 weekends off his intern year and worked Q3 for a year with two brief stints of Q2. (pre work hour limitations)

I promise you this. It gets better. Really. This year sucked balls because DH was gone for 3 months interviewing. Q4 and Q5 is like manna from heaven. Some weekday call nights are from home! He gets two weekends off a month! :thud: The very tiny silver lining to having survived prolonged call-hell is that q4 plus and and home call look like heaven.

Seriously, it gets better. I promise you. Now, my advice, for whatever it is worth, quickly quash any and all talk of fellowship NOW!

Kelly

[Cumberland]

Speaking of tallying the calls- the chief resident here is supposed to keep track of that so that every resident of the same year is supposed to have the exact same number of calls at the end of the year- right down to the same number of Saturday calls, Sunday calls, etc. If you go out on maternity leave you still have to have the same number as everyone else by the end of the year. I guess that is a good thing here, bc it does keep it fair.

DH is on call FIVE weekends in a row, one off then back on again. Great timing with the new baby

[alison]

So I should hide, because there I was thinking Q4 was rough... And (knock on wood), Q4 is as bad as it should get over the next few years of residency. Dh's program is pretty good about making things fair amongst the residents and keeping watch on how many hours they're working. I freaked out last month when dh flipped a coin with another resident for an extra call (which dh lost) and then flipped a coin later in the rotation for admitting a patient (which he lost again and meant the other guy could go home).

I told dh to tell the guy that he had an extra call day with admissions already, and so one admission on a different day is nothing to flip a coin over. Needless to say, dh appeared at our doorstep 30 minutes later, and the other guy stayed at work with the admission. Is this shameless of me, or what? Sometimes I feel the need to bring out my own boxing gloves and fight for us!

Sometimes I feel the need to bring out my own boxing gloves and fight for us!

Hell yeah!

While SO tries to be mindful of my perspective (as a non-resident) of his schedule, sometimes I remind him not to cover so many calls for other people. He's done it a half dozen times or so and has only asked someone to cover for him once - this week, actually - because he has to present at a conference on the West Coast. I understand that he LOVES what he does, but I already compromise on time spent together because his profession is what it is (Q4 floors for the next few months), so outside of research, I'm not a big fan of "extra credit". It also doesn't help that he sometimes doesn't even know his call schedule until about a week before starting a new rotation. Makes planning difficult. Even if they kept track, he'd tip the scales voluntarily. As it is, he starts his day 2 hours before anybody else so that now, if another resident comes in early, they call it "Pulling a Mike".

[DCJenn]

Ours isn't that bad this year, since there are only three of them (one fellow, my husband plus two neuro residents) they'd schedule it by the week. I think it makes a lot more sense than doing it Q3. We have one week on (sunday to sunday) and two weeks off. It also makes it a lot easier to schedule vacations (hahahaha- of course remembering that there are only a few 'leavable' rotations a year, this despite that fact that as of last Saturday my husband has 14 years in the Army and a full MONTH of leave. Since I've known him, he's never been able to use more than two weeks each year.)

Next year will be a whole different story. Let's just say I'm curious to see how much control my husband will have over his schedule. We do know that he's going to have to go to Fort Hood (3 hours away) several times a month. I'm of the opinion he should go for a week, once a month rather than one or two days a few times a month. But what the heck do I know...I'm just the wife.

Jenn

[Flynn]

After 6 months of hellish hours (A GOOD day was out of the house at 5:30 -- home by 9:30 that night. When that happened I threw a party. ) as of April 1st DH has been at the VA so the hours are good.

I see DH now, he can participate in our lives and there are less patients to manage when he's home and checking in at the hospital.

Time is HUGE Heidi. If you don't have time together EVERYTHING suffers.

You are NOT over dramatizing your situation. I remember SO WELL how when DH was gone I felt so alone and like the weight of the world was on ME. When he was home I felt this "so now you're home, you BETTER be helpful or I'll take your head off." It's a lose lose situation but also a NORMAL way to feel after being neglected (YES YOU ARE BEING NEGLECTED -- there is no other way to put it) for months on end.

Time is VERY valuable. You cannot have a cohesive family if you don't spend time together when everyone is well rested and ready to "be" with each other. No pagers -- no "jaunts" into the hospital to check on someone "really quick." It wrecks intimacy on any level when time is either not there, or interrupted all the time.

So I'm blathering....

To summarize: we are in a good place now but I empathize with those who are not. Hang in there and do what you can, when you can.

[Vishenka69]

You guys make me feel so thankful that DH chose anesthesia. His calls are only about once a week and on most rotations he's home for dinner. Last weekend he actually said "Screw fellowship, I want to make money." I was so proud of him.

[mommax3]

Call during residency sucked.....mostly Q3, with a full day of work afterwards. Night float was "supposed" to help, but it sucked the life out of DH (and me, too) for two months each year and then he *still* had to be on call during the weekends during the other rotations of the year. He also spent two months of the year at Ft. Hood, TX (~2.5 hours away) so basically, he wasn't home much.

Now, he is on call MWFSaSu one week and TTh the other week. It is home call, granted, but it is still pretty restrictive to our lives. He takes his non-call Friday off, though, which is great, meaning he has a three day weekend every other week. It will be very nice once he and his partner are able to hire a third doc......in the meantime, I am trying very hard to suck it up! (And remembering his residency schedule helps!)

Sally