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New wife to a general surgery residant!!

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  • New wife to a general surgery residant!!

    deleted
    Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
    Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

  • #2
    Welcome Sharon!

    You have a lot of kindred souls here. Internship year is always brutal.
    Surgery is brutal. We're glad to have you here with us through the ugly journey that is medical training.

    Jenn

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    • #3
      Welcome! While I can't offer advice I can offer a shoulder and an ear. My hubby just started med school so we have quite some time until he is as far as yours is. Good luck and know that these woman are wonderful for advice and a laugh.

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      • #4
        This must be a rough time for you. I can only imagine... When will you get your work permit? My dh came on a K1 visa, so I know the sh** you must be going through with that.

        And on top of that, surgery...

        Post often!
        married to an anesthesia attending

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        • #5
          It does get better - eventually. Don't get hung up on the "next year" business. They always tell you next year is better. Sometimes it is, but usually it's more of the same or even worse. When training is OVER it will get better. Try to remember that your DH has little control over the situation. Take it day to day. Try to enjoy the simple pleasures. As silly and cliche as that sounds, it's what worked for us. Even with that, there were a few breaking points along the road. Good luck.
          Angie
          Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
          Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

          "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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          • #6
            Thanks everyone. It's great to hear some encouraging words. We try to make the most of the time we do have together. I was thinking that next year would be much the same, some months are brutal, others are fine. My dh worries constantly that it will all get too much for me, being so far from home. I guess he was trying to put my mind at ease. To alison, I was told my work permit would arrive in August, now it's looking like October. It's just a waiting game. Oh well, plenty of time for sunbathing!!
            Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
            Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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            • #7
              Welcome,

              You have a very full plate. I have purposely repressed all memories from our general surgery intern year. Hang on, its a bumpy ride, but you get there. Take care of you and keep your spirits up.

              Kelly
              In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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              • #8
                Welcome.

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                • #9
                  My sympathies for the immigration issue. I'm in the same boat and after almost 6 years, I'm finally able to apply for the permanent resident card tomorrow. I had a temporary green card until now. I'd have to say that it didn't take them too long to issue me and my mom a work permit. Good luck with all of this.
                  Cristina
                  IM PGY-2

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                  • #10
                    First, WELCOME!!!! This group of people have helped me out as much as my family has!!!!! They are FANTASTIC!!!!


                    Second, General Surgery residency does NOT get better. Don't believe your spouse for one nanosecond.

                    However, YOU will get better at dealing with the nasty life that is the spouse of a surgery resident. It takes practice and trial and error much like a new job does. It is PAINFUL -- but you can live through it with your marriage intact.

                    Don't look too far ahead unless it is to look forward to fun things on the calendar. Try not to stress about things you can't change. Take lots of deep breaths! Be good to yourself because your spouse most of the time can't.

                    I lived through five years of General Surgery, two years in the lab, and two years of CT surgery fellowship. You can do it too.

                    Take it slow.

                    Again, welcome.
                    Flynn

                    Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

                    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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                    • #11
                      Thanks for the heads up. I told my dh what you guys said about it NOT getting easier. I guess he just wanted to put my mind at ease. I think he's worried that it will all get too much and I'll take off back to Ireland! We'll get through it though, no point worrying over what I can't change. Hard for me though, I'm a worrier.
                      Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
                      Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by sp2809
                        I think he's worried that it will all get too much and I'll take off back to Ireland!
                        He has every reason to be worried. If you are like most of us surgery crew, you'll think about packing your bags and heading to Ireland a time or two. You can get through it. It is hard, but it is doable says the girl who says "I can't do this anymore" at least twice a month!

                        Good luck, and use this website for all that it has to offer.
                        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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