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Selling out...

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  • Selling out...

    Sort of…

    O.K. I should find out tomorrow if I will be given two more classes to teach. If I get those classes, I will be making enough for the semester, but I will be teaching five classes 13 credits. Also there are no guarantees that I will get those classes in the spring. If I get pregnant, assuming I deliver in the middle of a semester or right at the beginning, I have to take that semester off and then I can count on not getting that class back.

    I applied at a daycare across the street from us and they offered me a job. $10/hour plus free child care and benefits if I maintain 30 hours a week. I would be near James while I work and when I get pregnant, benefits means maternity leave and then free child care for James and the baby while I worked for them.

    I can still keep the classes I teach now and do 30 hours a week, but then I am working full time…

    Taking the daycare job makes a lot of sense for many, many reasons…but…I went to college for 10 years! Can this be right? I know it is what is best for my family, but it feels like shit. I know there are no easy answers here, but I would love some commiseration. How are you all handling career and effing residency with children? I know it is a common thread, but I need to hear all of it again before I take the plunge.
    Gwen
    Mom to a 12yo boy, 8yo boy, 6yo girl and 3yo boy. Wife to Glaucoma specialist and CE(everything)O of our crazy life!

  • #2
    I don't have experience with career and children.....but I can commiserate with you on the concept of underemployment.

    I have a law degree, but cannot find anything other than working as a legal secretary again. It's unbelievable. At the time when I started working as a legal secretary, I did it because of the money, which was great. However, I can tell you from experience that doing something for the money or other benefits when you feel your hard-work and brain cells wasting away feels really bad.

    My vote would be to keep looking. Do you live in a city with multiple career options for you? Have you tried networking with alums from your PhD program who have taken a more non-traditional career route to give you ideas? Did your PhD program offer career advising? I know the world of academe is tough.....I have a friend who is a new PhD in chemistry and she can't find any employment. It really sucks after all those years in school to backtrack to a job you could do with a high school diploma....I know the feeling well.

    So my suggestion is keep on looking. Have you considered a freelance writing career to supplement what you're doing now? Could you write plays? Could you assist in community theater somehow? These two options could bring in some extra cash. How about teaching in a community college or high school? I had many teachers in high school who had PhDs.

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    • #3
      Caitelin, I don't have kids but we too are getting there. I also have seven years of higher education, however if it were me I'd take the daycare job unless you think you'd be really miserable. Then no one wins. You're putting James into a new school this year, correct? Maybe taking a year off from teaching isn't so bad. You'll be near him in his new school and if you do get pregnant soon you'll have time to prepare for the second one.

      But like I said, if you're going to be miserable, you'll be happier making the other one work. Good luck!
      Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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      • #4
        A friend of my brother's earned his PhD in nuclear physics and landed a job driving a cab. He has the right personality for it, and liked it while he was at it. Eventually he did get back into his field and wasn't any worse off for his "selling out." Maybe the nuclear physics field is more forgiving in that regard, but it seemed like a good example that it can and has been done before.

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        • #5
          Hi Caitlein:
          Just checking in during one of my many (sigh...) breaks from my exam.
          I just wanted to respond quickly to give you my .02

          Go with your gut feeling. The daycare job sounds good!!!
          There's no such thing as a wasted education. How many PhDs are out there in tenure track positions, anyway?! Don't beat yourself up about this.
          married to an anesthesia attending

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          • #6
            I don't think you would be selling out at all. It's such a hard decision for women; it's very difficult to balance a career and kids and oftentimes you have to compromise with one. Personally I would rather compromise with my career than with my children.

            This post reminded me of a NYT article I read a few months ago about women from top tier schools planning on working a couple of years and then quitting to raise kids. It's a new trend!

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            • #7
              Uggg. This is a quandry. Practically, I would say take the daycare job. It's a good economic and lifestyle decision. BUT, I don't think breaking back in to academics is that easy. It's hard enough to get a job in academia with the perfect resume. If you have a switch to "daycare" for many years, does that make it easier to throw your resume out with the next academic job application? They've got to be looking for reasons to eliminate people when each job has so many applicants. I'd consider carefully where I want to be in the next 5 years. If you plan on re-entering the ivory tower, I'd at least do something academic while working at the daycare. Write a book, teach one class, volunteer somewhere but keep your hand in. Otherwise, your selling out phase might end up marking you for many, many years.

              Just my .02 -- and I really don't know much about the job market. I just know everyone I know in academics has struggled to obtain and keep employment.
              Angie
              Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
              Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

              "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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              • #8
                Caitlein,

                I think the title of your post answers your question..If you feel that it is selling out, then don't do it regardless of the convenience factor, being close to James and the potential new baby.

                You are right that there are no guarantees about getting those classes again in the spring....there is also no guarantee that you will get pregnant in time to have to leave during the middle of the semester or take some time off. You might even be offered a permanent position...things in acadmia are so screwy.

                My experience (limited though it is) is that taking a break to work in a daycare facility would seriously hinder your ability to go back. I also think that after 10 years of going to school and working so hard that ...I'm gonna say it...slam me if you must...you are selling out...or selling yourself short....unless you have found that you just aren't interested in teaching Theater anymore (which is an entirely diff. scenario) and feel a real calling to work in a daycare center.

                :!

                I'll hide now.

                kris
                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                • #9
                  Kris, don't hide! Normally I would be saying go with the daycare and all of the life perks. But from the posts you have made here Caitlein, it seems like you do love what you do. Moreso you are so analytical and into the theatrical aspect as much as the teaching aspect, if not more. In your case, from the little I know of you, I would be concerned that you would find working in the daycare to be stifling. I'm sure you have so much to offer the facility and the children. I just wonder if the place would let you run with your skills. I would vote for tying it out on a temp basis while continuing to teach. Tough choice though.

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                  • #10
                    i have no good advice -- just wanted to throw my 'supportive vibes' into the ring.

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                    • #11
                      I would think very carefully about working in a daycare, even one that Nikolai attended. There's a VERY good reason why I have him in daycare and that is that I NEED the mental stimulation of something other than talking about shapes, colors, numbers and animals. I did it for over a year, I'm glad I did but man, it is HARD. Ten bucks an hour is not even close to being enough money for me to do it with more than my own kid.

                      Can you really imagine wiping butts, noses, hands, faces, etc. all day. If you can, you're a better person than I... (even the moms with more than one kid here have at least some of them in school for the most part! I can't fathom working on purpose with 10 kids the same age as mine!)

                      I say think long and hard, especially if it's going to make it hard to get back to what you do know and love about academia.

                      Jenn

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                      • #12
                        Thanks You all have voiced all of the sides of the argument that are coursing through my head. I do love what I do...I wouldn't have gone through all of that school with DH in school and a baby, if I didn't truly love it. I am terrified that I will hate the daycare job. Worried that as I work along side college students I will become more resentful of my husband for putting me in this situation (even though all of these decisions are jointly made).

                        I would still keep two or three classes a semester. Also, I have an article about to come out and I have three, maybe four, more in the hopper ready for submission along with a book manuscript that is almost ready to shop around. My hope is to continue with minimal adjunct work while the kids are young while publishing occasionally. We would like a large family, so that may be over the next ten years. What is wonderful about theatre work...and research...is that it is seasonal and contract...so it can wax and wane with our family needs.

                        However, for the next three years (2 residency and one fellowship) I need to make a fairly significant contribution to the financial well being of our household...I had two more years of graduate school loans than DH...

                        I completely agree with both sides of this. My family comes first. When we decided to have children it was because I knew that I wanted to be an involved mother even when that meant my career would suffer, knowing full well the medical half would not contribute equally to the child rearing. I am never upset about time I spend with James. I will be happy working as an adjunct doing grant research for a very long time. Someday I would be happy in a tenure track position, but successful career, to me, means contributing to the field of knowledge in a significant way and making an impact through instructing undergraduate and graduate students. Tenure is a construct of an antiquated system I don’t need to participate in to accomplish my career goals. This past year has been an ideal situation for me. Some research, some classes, some practical work, and some time off with James. Without student loans we can't sustain it. I can't invent another degree for the sake of mortgaging our future...as if we haven't already done that.

                        Thanks for letting me spew thoughts about this. I flip at least twice an hour. I appreciate your helpful thoughts. Curses on delayed gratification.
                        Gwen
                        Mom to a 12yo boy, 8yo boy, 6yo girl and 3yo boy. Wife to Glaucoma specialist and CE(everything)O of our crazy life!

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                        • #13
                          Good luck with your decision!

                          Jennifer
                          Needs

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                          • #14
                            Hey Caitlein -

                            what did you decide to do?

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                            • #15
                              Thanks for asking. I have decided to grab the best of both worlds. I took an additional class and 15-20 hours a week at the daycare. So...I am teaching two classes at Marquette and two classes at UWM (only one new class) and 15-20 hours at the daycare and two one-hour-a-week classes at the children's theatre. All-in-all, approx 30 hours a week, half of which I am with James. Whatever I hate, I can change next semester, but I am happy with it as it stands. Thank you for all of your feedback and honest responses. This one is tough and will continue to be difficult...
                              Gwen
                              Mom to a 12yo boy, 8yo boy, 6yo girl and 3yo boy. Wife to Glaucoma specialist and CE(everything)O of our crazy life!

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