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Where did my DH go?

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  • Where did my DH go?

    Sometimes I feel like I'm married to two different men.

    At work, Dh is amazingly organised, very professinal and a perfectionist. He's always on time, gets everything done and works very hard to do it. I meet him at work and I'm like "Where did my husband go?".

    Outside of work he forgets to pay bills (his cell phone has been cut off more than once), he's the worlds worst procrastinator. Nothing would ever get done if I didn't do it. We end up being late for everything. He dresses in the the oldest, most worn out clothes he can find. He's like a totally different person. If you met my H outside of work you would absolutely NEVER think that he was a doctor.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he doesn't come home in doctor mode. I just wish he could put some of the skills he uses at work (being organised, on time etc.) into practice when he's at home.

    Does anyone else feel like this?
    Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
    Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

  • #2
    yep. you just described my husband.

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    • #3
      You also described mine perfectly....sometimes I think that maybe that is the only way they can do what they do? It's what I tell myself anyway to be a little less annoyed when he forgets something.............

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      • #4
        Uh, yup. That's my DH too! Perhaps it goes with the territory? Is anyone here NOT married to the person described above?

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        • #5
          Nope- that's why I took over the bills and everything else that could even remotely impact my life at a later date- while we were dating. Before we got married. Before we got engaged. I think it was before he left for the nine month jaunt- which was Month 3 of dating.

          No, and we medical spouses have no control issues to over compensate for the lack of same at home, do we?

          Jenn

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          • #6
            Originally posted by angelbright
            Is anyone here NOT married to the person described above?
            I'm not!! I'm just dating him.......

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            • #7
              DH is just as disorganized at work as he is at home. He's great in the OR, great at the bedside, but is desk..... Thank goodness he's out and has support staff. He was more excited about getting an administrative assistant and a scheduler than he was about making "real" money. It's made his life so much easier. Of course, he still hasn't figured out that they can't do everything for him. (That's why he has me, I guess. )
              Angie
              Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
              Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

              "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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              • #8
                Re: Where did my DH go?

                Originally posted by sp2809
                Outside of work he forgets to pay bills (his cell phone has been cut off more than once), he's the worlds worst procrastinator. Nothing would ever get done if I didn't do it. We end up being late for everything.

                Does anyone else feel like this?
                Yep, my DH too. He's no longer allowed to manage the bills! I have to do absolutely everything, even manage HIS 401K. I've always said that DH uses up all his brain cells at work and there's nothing left when he comes home.

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                • #9
                  Sadly, my dh is the super-organized one and I....well.... :! You all would say that I am the disorganized one....and yet when I was working, I knew exactly what was in each of the piles on my desk :> and would have a heart attack if anyone touched anything. I'm like that at home too with my desk/workspace etc....and one of the biggest sources of marital discontent we have is when dh walks through the kitchen or something, sees a pile of papers and then throws them out thinking that they aren't important.

                  Really, there is a method to my madness and if left to my own devices, I would rise to the occasion....just not the same way you would....and I'm sure that it is the same for your spouses :> Ok...so maybe the first check I ever bounced was to the police department for a ticket when I was 16....



                  kris
                  ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                  ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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