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we can choose our friends, but NOT our family (UGH!!!)

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  • we can choose our friends, but NOT our family (UGH!!!)

    Hi all! Been awhile, but just wanted to see if anyone else out there hears me loud and clear when I say "we can choose our friends, but can NOT choose our family"? This REALLY sucks!

    I'm here in a new state with only my hubby's side of the family here....plane ride for me to go back to visit my family is 8 hrs. I haven't started work yet so I haven't really made any friends yet. Then, of course, hubby is always gone due to residency (of course!) and we don't have little bambinos yet (hopefully in the near future) . Thus, I have felt at times isolated and homesick for my family on the other side of the map. I'm sure I wouldn't feel this way if I were to keep busy which is what I am working on..........

    I have a evil SIL that has brought me MUCH misery now that I see her on a daily basis (not by choice....dh and I are temporarily living with MIL/FIL). She is a SPOILED & SELFISH brat! Despite being in her mid 30s, she acts like a 2 yr old! I first met her at her parents house when she ordered, "You can't drink that b/c it's MINE!" when I was offered a beverage by MIL. She chastised my hubby about my "expensive" engagement ring! Yet, she doesn't feel an ounce of guilt for her $50,000 wedding that was paid by MIL/FIL. That's just the beginning here....too long of a list, but the toppers I will mention. Then when our families met up for lunch she completely ignored me (didn't even say "Hi") and sat in front of me! The next day while visiting MIL/FIL's house she wanted to know why it was that I stayed upstairs the entire 7 hrs without coming down to say "Hi" to her and her baby!!!

    She's HORRIBLE to her own husband as well. They tried for over a year to conceive. Why? She stated to the world, "It's HIS fault that we can't have babies!" So, they did IVF and finally did have a baby. She doesn't even feel that it's wrong to publicly disrespect and humiliate her own hubby. Then, after having her "miracle" baby she dumps her kid to be raised by MIL/FIL while she returns to work (perhaps, her CRAZY spending habits has something to do w/ this?). Don't mean to offend working mothers. Just wanted to give insight into SIL's choice to live way beyond her means thus needing to work. How could I possibly even think that she could treat me w/ any decency, right?

    I give UP on her! :disappointed: Has anyone else been thru this type of nightmare???

    Thank you all for listening and can't wait to hear your stories as well :chat:

  • #2
    SHE is here right now :! She's downstairs w/ MIL/FIL and I'm upstairs so that I may not fall prey to her EVIL stares, thoughts, and vibes........

    I'm SOOOO hungry :yum: , but I would rather die of starvation than have to hear her talk......she's 34 and still talks like a baby to her parents!!!!!! She's bossy, RUDE, pretentious, and suffers from a superiority complex (masking her low self esteem). Her poor hubby works like a dog for UPS so that she can add another $400 Coach purse to her collection. I don't think her job as a loan officer requires thousands of dollars worth of overpriced purses

    QUESTION? My MIL/FIL and my dh are WONDERFUL, but how is it that my SIL is not? Due to family tension, I confronted my MIL/FIL and told them that SIL makes me feel very uncomfortable and explained reasons too. Thus, I would like to limit my contact with her. They were very understanding and FIL said, "Oh, honey, it's just sibling rivalry and she's just feeling threatened by you/dh. She's envious of you both." WHATEVER the reason, I can't wait to move on OUT......We should be moving out SOON....will try to buy something in this overpriced market in So CA SOON......will keep yall' posted!

    dh should be getting off work soon to rescue me............ :luv

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    • #3
      Just know that you are a better person than she is. Come here when she visits!!!!!
      Luanne
      wife, mother, nurse practitioner

      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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      • #4
        Ugg - I haven't had that bad of a situation with my ILs but I feel your pain.

        I hope it gets better soon - when are you guys getting your own place?
        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          Thanks gals for your support!

          Lu, just curious, what area of nursing are you in? I'm a nurse as well and look forward to starting my new job on Monday in mother/baby (newbie).

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          • #6
            I work ER and Endoscopy. I started semester # 5 of 6 this week of graduate school. I'm in a masters program at Seton Hall University for my Nurse Practitoner/Adult Primaary Care.
            Luanne
            wife, mother, nurse practitioner

            "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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            • #7
              OB/Baby scares me!!!!! They are soooo tiny. Good luck.
              Luanne
              wife, mother, nurse practitioner

              "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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              • #8
                Cool, Lu! I took a 1yr leave of absence from PNP school due to many factors......one being, just don't know if I want the responsibility which will be expected of me.....esp. after what I went thru working as a staff nurse in Pediatrics. Kids don't make the easiest patients, esp. when they're kicking and screaming! Thus, mother/baby it is......

                Best wishes & much success to you, Lu!

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                • #9
                  ladybug,

                  I hear ya! Sounds like you have a fantastic BIL! It sucks when your only SIL sees you as her competition. Perhaps, motherhood will make her less selfish and she will FINALLY grow up!

                  Have a great weekend!

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                  • #10
                    Luckily I'm an only child and DH has a younger brother. So no SIL for me just yet. Generally DH's family is nicer than mine and we see them a lot more often, but sometimes the whole togetherness thing is suffocating. As far as my extended family is concerned we see each other at weddings and funerals and occassionally exchange voice mails for birthdays.

                    Sorry to hear about your SIL but at least MIL & FIL are nice.

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