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how to help a desperate friend

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  • how to help a desperate friend

    I have a friend in need of help and I could use some clever ideas from the smart folk around here on how to help her.
    Suzie:
    -early 30's - going through a divorce with a 3 year old daughter.
    -no degree and living with a friend.
    -smart but not educated.
    -under a lot of stress raising a child on her own without a stable environment and very little money.
    -not many skills except retail.

    She just got fired from the place I advised would be a great opportunity ( asst director at a spa) apparently they told her she was "bouncing off the walls", has "nervous energy", "talks to much" etc. All of which are probably true but are not completely Suzie. These behaviors appear to be a symptom of the stres/anxiety she is under. She's held down jobs long term in the past.
    Yes, she has a lot of energy but getting fired for these reasons is not normal. I've known her for more than 10 years. She honestly appears manic lately. Talking fast; talking too much; interrupting people mid conversation; unfocused etc. She's taking an antidepressant but I don't think it's the right medication for her.
    - ex is a decent guy but has no education and doesn't make a lot of money. Neither is he ambitious and changes jobs quite often. She left him because he drinks a tad bit too much and has been somewhat violent in the past. Nothing serious but enough to warrant her leaving. Oh, I introduced her to him...so I feel guilty enough...

    She can't get unemployment because she only worked 6 mo (stupid Arizona law).
    She has good, cheap daycare but is so stressed I don't know if she can handle a job.
    I can't give her money cuz we ain't got it.
    Her family isn't around and can't help her.
    She says things like " I have nothing to live for" "Life is too stressful" etc.
    I don't know how to help her. Any ideas?

  • #2
    Thanks Lily,
    your post is incredibly helpful. I will search for some orgs today!

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    • #3
      I'm so sorry. I would also recommend a shelter. The one here has legal advice, job training, and counseling .
      Luanne
      wife, mother, nurse practitioner

      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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      • #4
        Originally posted by *Lily*
        here Lori - I found this online. http://www.awee.org/enroll.html

        There is help out there for her, but she's got to be strong enough to reach out and ask for it, and in some cases ask a few times. She's got to be her own advocate, and you can encourage her to do that.

        good luck to both of you!
        Thanks again, your advice is perfect and this is the organization that fits her needs best. Also, I advised her to go back to her primary care doc and tell him to refer her to a psychiatrist - immediately. I am keeping on her to do this since her emotional stability is so vulnerable.
        She's a bit insecure about getting out and looking for another job because of her lack of skills and getting fired. Understandable but what choice does she have?
        She said, "I just want to find a guy that will take care of me."
        I am struggling to get her past this kind of mentality and be proactive about taking care of herself and her child. Obviously Prince Charming isn't showing up at her front door anytime soon.

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