Ex boyfriend rant

[MissCrabette]

My silly rant is totally inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, especially given the bigger problems being discussed on the forum right now. But I just have to rant about this to get it out of my system.

A long time ex boyfriend (and I use that term loosely because we dated for a split second) contacted me online after several months of not even saying hi. The short background story is that he's a huge player and he got a girl pregnant this summer. They had a shotgun wedding, recently moved into a new house, and they're expecting a baby at the beginning of January. So anyway, he starts talking to me and making seriously inappropriate sexual comments. I try to deflect the conversation to his life and his baby who's due fairly soon. He briefly addresses the topic and then asks if I want to hang out. So I make the mistake of bringing everything out in the open and saying that I don't think it's a good idea given the circumstances under which we met and then subsequently parted ways and also our current respective situations. I won't even go into the conclusions he spouted off, but he managed to annoy me.

So let me ask you what you'd have done. I know that one of the guys on this forum mentioned he wouldn't go out alone with a female coworker out of respect for his wife. This is precisely where I'm coming from. I know I wouldn't do anything but it's something that may look bad to my fiance and a few other people. Moreover, I'm not willing to subject myself to his completely uncalled for sexual comments. Ugh!

Cristina,

The same thing happened to me recently. An ex of mine, who I date for a short time contacted me online and started making sexual comments. So I told him 'I feel our comments are inappropriate, I'm in a very happy relationship, we're getting married and if you continue to make comments like that I'm going to end this conversation here and now'

He stopped and when we had finished talking I blocked him from my contacts after all we hadn't spoken for a long time, we only dated for a short time, I've plenty of friends and don't need ex boyfriends who would try to compromise my position trying to contact me.

The fact that this guy is now married and has a baby on the way is even worse! He obviously has no respect for his wife, it doesn't matter what the circumstances to which they got married,I'm sure she still deserves respect! Personally I wouldn't want to be in any way associated with someone like that.

After my incident I told SO because we don;t keep anything from each other, I told him how much it upset me and the actions I took. He was annoyed that this person had upset me but knowing me he would also know I would never act on someone making comments like that. I feel uncomfortable if I'm out with my girlfriends and a guy tries to chat me up.

[Vishenka69]

Cristina,

I think you're right in not meeting him. He totally sounds like a sleezebag. I think friends of opposite sex and ex's are two completely different categories. While both DH and I have friends of opposite sex, neither of us have kept in touch with any of our ex's. I do see my guy friends without DH (usually on his call days), but I've met all of them after already being with DH, so it was always clear where we all stand.

[MissCrabette]

Thanks for the replies.

after all we hadn't spoken for a long time, we only dated for a short time, I've plenty of friends and don't need ex boyfriends who would try to compromise my position trying to contact me.

That's exactly how I felt. I initially didn't go as far as ending the relationship because I said I'd love to hear about how he's doing and all but that's the extent of what I'd like our relationship to be. So he went all crazy on me at which point I concluded it may be a wise idea to stop communication with him once and for all. It just bothers me that he implied I'm not allowed to have guy friends and that I'm out of my mind for seeing things this way.

I don't know. I'm not a guy, I was never married, I never expected a baby. But I'm fairly certain that I'd be spending time with my expecting wife and decorating my baby's room at this point, not reaching out to old exes and making inappropriate comments to them.

[pstone]

Yep, I said I would not do it for two reasons.

My wife should not have to deal even with appearances, she trusts me but I don't want her to have to 'trust' me.

And I want to protect my heart. This is a hard one for some I have found. I would not cheat on my wife, but I also won't put myself in a position where it is an option. Don't play with fire and you will never get burned.