Should I change my name?

[Grog]

It may be different for international flights - but is not required for domestic (I've flown to CA, FL, MO, AK, & IL with one or both kids / no husband). Plus, what kind of written consent could you get? A note? How would that be verified?

Oops, that's what I meant. (International flights.)

The written consent is supposed to be a notarized act.

[SuzySunshine]

I didn't hesitate changing mine because of what it was, not because it was common but because it was easy to make fun of and usually mispronounced. Had I been the last one with that name I probably would have lived with it but I have 36 first cousins on that side and 1/2 are males.

[alison]

It may be different for international flights - but is not required for domestic (I've flown to CA, FL, MO, AK, & IL with one or both kids / no husband). Plus, what kind of written consent could you get? A note? How would that be verified?

Oops, that's what I meant. (International flights.)

The written consent is supposed to be a notarized act.

Once you get ahold of this document, you don't need to get once each time you travel, right? What do you mean by notarized act? That means going to the bank and getting a stamp of your signature on the document, right?

As far as identity and identity issues that were spoken of earlier, I'm curious how a common name sorts this stuff out and what is meant by "identity issues." That is meant as a question, not a rhetorical one, btw.

[Grog]

I'm surprised at how many people choose to keep their last names. Not that it's a bad thing! I'm just surprised. For me, it's not even a question. I just assumed it is what I would do. I love my dad and his whole lineage, but we're not the Kennedys or anything.

What are your convictions (if you have them) for keeping your own last name? I'm curious.

I am from a province of Canada (Québec) where women don't change their name. Since the early-1980s, all women have to use their birth name for all legal and similar affairs (think banking for example) and all their dealings with government. Women are free to use their married name socially if they want. They can also go through the process of changing their name the same way as any person would of course, paying a hefty fee and publishing notices in three newspapers for so many weeks or something like that. Most younger women (less than 40) keep using their own name in all occasions and nobody's confused...

So it's definiltely a cultural thing...

[alison]

I am from a province of Canada (Québec) where women don't change their name. Since the early-1980s, all women have to use their birth name for all legal and similar affairs (think banking for example) and all their dealings with government. Women are free to use their married name socially if they want. They can also go through the process of changing their name the same way as any person would of course, paying a hefty fee and publishing notices in three newspapers for so many weeks or something like that. Most younger women (less than 40) keep using their own name in all occasions and nobody's confused...

This is refreshing!

[SuzySunshine]

I'll answer what I meant when I said "identity issues" - the one that comes into mind for me is my newphew. You now have to have permission from both parents to get a passport for a minor child. My sister is divorced, RARELY sees her ex-husband and now will have a hard time if she ever needed to get my nephew a passport before he turns 18.

Most that I think of are related to children not having the same last name.

[alison]

So, your sister has changed her name back to her maiden name and the kiddo has her ex-husband's name?

I'm just curious about this, because when/if we have kids, they'll have to get passports in order to go to Germany. I'm assuming we'll get them dual citizenship as soon as we can, but I'm just curious how much time and money this will save us if I simply change my name to my husband's. Maybe I'll change it, but then change it back afterwards! :>

[alison]

Would this be an identity nightmare, Cheri? Dual citizenship, different names, mom Japanese, dad German?

[Vishenka69]

I don't even have my dad's name. My last name is from my maternal grandmother and I have no attachment to that side of the family. As much as I don't like MIL, DH's name comes from his dad and I like him. I don't associate MIL with that name. If I did, this wouldn't be a question. I just thought that since I have to change all the legal documents anyway and don't have any strong feelings either way, I might as well just do it and eliminate some potential problems in the future.

I know because my parents have different names, they had to provide a copy of their marriage license a lot for various things (don't remember specifics). Plus they got married in Ukraine, so they could only show a notarized translation. My dad joked that this is his opportunity to pretend he's not married.

[SuzySunshine]

Alison, my sister is remarried, so my nephew has his dad's name and she has her 2nd husband's name. My family doesn't travel internationally much (if at all), my little sister and I are the only ones passports. But starting in '07 you have to have one just to go to Canada or Mexico so it could become an issue for him.

[MissCrabette]

I'll vote for changing the name just because it makes things easier. Even though I consider myself to be over 90% Romanian, my last name is actually Ukrainian and often misspelled and mispronounced. I can't wait to change it. I did have a brief period when I thought I may want to keep it so that the name doesn't die, but my male cousins are taking care of that.

[Grog]

Once you get ahold of this document, you don't need to get once each time you travel, right? What do you mean by notarized act? That means going to the bank and getting a stamp of your signature on the document, right?

I think the document has to be valid for a given period. No idea what the max period is (a year?). A notarized act is a document signed in front of a notary and confirmed as genuine by that person. I think in many US states there are no notaries who are not at the same time attorneys, but I'm not a specialist in comparative legal studies!!

Here is quote from Air Canada's web site:

"Important: Immigration authorities in most countries are becoming increasingly vigilant when children are crossing borders. Whether travelling alone or accompanied by an adult, each child must travel with their own travel documents, as well as supporting documentation: e.g. their birth certificate, showing the names of both parents, and/or legal documents pertaining to their custody.

The adults traveling with the minor children are additionally strongly advised to be holding a notarized letter of travel consent signed by the parent(s) or guardian(s) with legal custody. The letter must include the signor's address, phone details, and the authorization to travel, the destination and the projected length of stay.
If a parent/guardian is divorced or deceased, custody document or a death certificate are required."

[Grog]

I am not sure I understand why border officials would recognize people bearing the same last name as necessarily being the same family. There are so many people with a few names - think 'Smith' for example - that the kids could very well be 'Smith' and the person pretending to be their mother or father 'Smith' as well and they could not be related. That's why they require kids to travel with birth certificates. It's not totally fool proof, but it's certainly a better way to identify who belongs with whom...

I kept my maiden name and do not plan to change it. I kept my name because I don't like the tradition that women are supposed to take their husband's name. It just doesn't make much sense to me. I must say, though, that my family gave me a lot of crap about why I was not changing my last name to his last name. They thought it was "weird." I asked DH if he was willing to change his last name to mine, and he wasn't, so why should I change my last name to his? I like my name. So I kept it. I personally do not like hyphenated last names for children so the children can have his last name.

I agree with Flynn. If you are NOT totally against his name and not overly attached to yours it may be easier when kids come around. For me it was very necessary because we are different races and half the time we travel people question that we are married until they see the passports.

Who would be questioning if you were married and why can't they just take your word for it?