Pregnancy and Residency

[Michele]

How did those two fit together for your SOs in the medical field? Or were all the kiddies born before school started?

Michele

I sure hope some of the ladies with experience post something on this topic ... DH is an intern and we just decided that working on a family in residency sounded like a good plan .

From what I can see, most of the residents in DH program are married with children. In fact, around here, it isn't "do you have any children" that people ask ... it is "how many children do you have?" This was especially true when DH did his OB rotations this year. But you have to consider the location ... small town in Central Texas

What has been your perspective?

Aisha

[fluffhead]

Pregnancy during Residency?

Can some of the male spouses comment on this?
We're thinking of trying for another. Did any wives do this during residency? What year? Did they take off extra time after delivery, and is it possible to make it up at the end? I don't relish the thought of shuttling the baby to the hospital for breastfeeding - is pumping an option for residents?

Preg and fellowship can be tough

Hi,

This is my first post. I came into this forums looking for some help on this topic.

My wife just started her fellowship. It is 2 years. She has been through her 3 years of residency, and it was rough, so we held back in having a family. Being a husband working in the Hi Tech (software engineer)world I kept myself busy during her residency,and also managed to keep myself more busy by finishing off with a graduate degree. There used to be days when we would barely spend time with each other, but days just went on and we were done.

She took up a job after her residency as faculty, which was a good working hours (8:00 - 5:00 pm) as we did not want to go after money, but so that she could take some rest after her grueling residency. I make good money, and we have no student loans, and house loan is in good shape. We decided to have kids, and then came the offer from her University for a fellowship that she wanted to do, but she pushed aside so that she could raise a family and spend time with me. She said that she would do it at later date(4 or 5 years down the lane).

I pushed her into it saying that IF she wants to do it she should do it now as 5 years later we dont know what would be the conditions and if she would get this oportunity again with this reputed Univ. She started her fellowship last month, and she is 16 weeks pregnant.

What worries me her 16 hours day work. She is dead tired that she cannot even drive. So she calls me I go there and her get her back home. I have my skills at cooking, so she has a hot meal and crashes on to bed. The routine again starts at 6:00 am next day.

I have come a point where I feel it is not worth it. I am worried about her health. I can support her to only certian extend, unfortunately I cannot take time off and help her in the hospital(I guess I have to know something about medicine). We are just counting that this rotation would get over soon and maybe the next rotation would be a bit simpler.

I am thinking of writing to her Program director and see if it helps. I still feel that it is inhumane working conditions for these residents and fellows. Just becoz they get cheap labor(I am sure they get paid less than min wage if you count the number of hours), they are made to work like this.

Anyone with ideas or suggestions. Is it worth going on.

[fluffhead]

I feel your pain.
Writing to the program director is pointless. This is the system, and it's not changing for one pregnant fellow. However, if her OB says she can't work that hard, then they will probably make special dispensations for her. Beware that the other fellows (her fellow fellows? :P ) will probably resent her somewhat. My wife is getting this to a certain extent from a colleague (another female resident, doncha know).
For us it was a very difficult time. Certain rotations seemed like they'd never end. We made it through. If she needs to take it easier during the first trimester, make sure to get a note from the OB, and then she'll be able to - the hospital would never want to risk a lawsuit.
When you say "is it worth going on," I assume you're asking about the fellowship, not the pregnancy, right? It depends on the fellowship - is this the only route to doing what she wants to do? My wife was tempted to quit at times, but at this point I believe she's glad she persevered. But there were times that I was pretty certain it was not helpful for her health nor the health of the fetus.
Have her speak to her doctor, and get his opinion - he's been through residency and knows the hardships, and if he says it's too much, then have her meet with the program director and set up some compromises.
Good luck!

[Flynn]

We have two friends (female docs) who gave birth in late spring at the conclusion of their R3 year. They had some maternity leave and then went straight into the lab for two years. Both have said they have no idea how they would do it otherwise.

One of these women worked 85 hours a week for four months prior to her delivery....it was hell as she describes it but she's a Gen. Surg. resident so not everyone has this experience.

Everytime I think I am challenged with this lifestyle...I think of men married to female docs who want to start a family and I am humbled. It would be much more difficult in my opinon to be married to a pregnant doc and have to pick up the slack after baby is born. Breast feeding and "the mommy factor" is so important early on in baby's life.

some support

Thanks for the support and ideas. I did write to the program director and ofcourse never recieved a reply. But later in the day she did recieve a call from one of her attending who is was a former fellow and she was also pregnant twice during her residency and fellowship.

She assured my wife that things will eb fine and dept will take care of her. She gave her the tip that she should push back some work if needed.

I think next time we go to OB ofice I shall ask the OB to give a note just in case. So far my wife is doing fine, other than for her swelling in legs.

sometimes I just wonder if this profession is really so harsh and people still resent for what the docs get paid. If they know what they go through, then they would understand ...

[Flynn]

Doc_hubby,

Yes this profession IS harsh. My Dad has said many times to anyone who will listen that as long as you have a good doc, don't EVER begrudge him/her the money they make. They have earned it in spades.

Is your wife's fellowship one, two or three years? If it is more than one, are you concerned about how things will be after the baby is born?

Just curious.

after baby should not be a problem

Her fellowship is 2 year, so it will be done in June 2006 if she does not take a break. After delivery we have lots of family help. My mom and her mom will stay with us to take care of the baby during daytime(rather than sending to day care), and evening we should manage.

[PrincessFiona]

I'm sorry to just be responding to this....It seems like I get online and get sidetracked and never make it all the way around the boards anymore.

Have you found any more peace/resolution with this issue? It must be hard for your wife to be working so hard and to be this far along in her pregnancy...though she's hit that second trimester and might be feeling more energetic?

You sound like a wonderful, supportive husband. Your wife is lucky to have you. I hope that you have been able to get a response from the program director since you wrote this or that your wife and you have both been able to find more support from the program.

OH..and CONGRATS on the baby

kris

[pstone]

There is never a good time, there are only worse times.

4th year of med school was easy, not hard at all.

We think other not horrible times are....end of 2nd year residency...and then when ever after that...

not during intern year for sure but after that we say whenever. There is pressure from other residences not to have kids also because when you take 3 months off they have to pick up the slack, but we say so the hell what! Not our fault the field is so unfriendly to women having kids and with more women in med school then med for the last two years they had better start getting used to it.

Our experience is that the time you take off for maternaity leave they just add on at the end, which we are fine with.

NEVER A GOOD TIME, so pick what you want and say screw you to anyone who comments.

[Flynn]

So Peter,

How goes the SAHD thing? Do you have plans to go back to work eventually or stay home for the duration of the residency -- or longer?

Kudos to you by the way. Does your wife know how lucky she is???

Well after a long time coming back to this forum as I was browing through some stuff. I was reading through my initial post about my wife going thru her fellowship while she was pregnant. (my post was in July 2004)

well she made it through the preg, delivered a adorable daughter 4 weeks ahead of schedule, and now she is 1 year old and we are having a blast of time.

My wife has another 5 months to go with her fellowship and then she plans to be home for few months and bond with our DD. Right now our DD is daddy's girl. We have help from my mom who looks after her during the day and in the evening after i am back from work my DD just clings to me.

We are just counting the days when my wife would be done with her fellowship(just imagine ... i even changed jobs 2 months ago).

Life is just fantastic with a little one at home, though my wife feels guilty that she cannot devote much attention to the little one. She jokes that she wont let the second child(when we have one) anywhere near me(my DD clings to me when I am around).

Glad to hear that things are good!


I swear that somewhere on this thread I posted a beautifully put together piece that had all the answers to the questions and then some extra advise that would make life wonderful....I guess it never really happened?! Or maybe it did, and my Gremlins deleted it.....

Trying to make a game plan...

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. Me and my fiance are getting married in July and have been discussing the whole when we can start a family idea. I was just wondering if anyone else had an opinion on when the best time for her to be pregnant would be, I know that there is never a good time, but it's obvious that some times are better than others.

thanks,

Chris