Resources for Male Spouses

[PrincessFiona]

Would any of the guys like to take charge of setting up a web page for the Mr. MDs, writing some articles or helping set up some resources to help other men who are supporting female physicians? It is hard for me to create any good resources and I get a lot of emails from men looking for help.

If you would prefer, we could even set up a separate phpbb for the guys...

Feel free to PM or email me

Kris
krismathms@yahoo.com

[fluffhead]

Hi Kris,
It's not that we're ignoring you, I'm just not sure of the value versus effort of that kind of resource. There's already these boards, slowlane.com, and all the generic medical spouse resources out there.
I think we'd be better off encouraging more activity on the message boards.
Though I'm as guilty as anybody of slacking off on that.
We're closing on a house and moving soon, so I'm gonna be invisible again for awhile.

[PrincessFiona]

slacking off

Well...slowlane seems like a great resource. I'm going to add it to hte links! We've resurrected the MrMD forums on several occasions. It tends to come in waves...I get emails from men who are looking for some type of resource (not all are SAHDs) and put the boards back up....they are looking for some kind of a connection with other men who are often letting their careers take a backseat to their wives or are going through other marriage-related issues due to the disparity in income or perceived prestige. I really don't have anywhere to point them....

I'll just keep the forum here open for the men when they feel they need it....and if anyone wants to continue to contribute an article about life as a male spouse supporting a med student, resident, etc....well....I'll put it up on the MrMD page....

Congrats on the house!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this your first home?

Kris

[fluffhead]

Yes! It's our first house! I feel like with marriage, kid and now house, there's no escaping adulthood. Any combination of two of the above, and I could still be in denial.

Definitely send any husbands in need over this way. Hopefully somebody will be checking and will respond.
Someday I'll try to write something for the page.

Hello again. I have been slacking off as well. I think I haven't been around as much because 1) things are going well, and you know that we men usually don't go around talking about our feelings and stuff unless we have a problem, and 2) Most everyone on this board seems to be female. It is probably an inertia thing, so I'm not sure what can be done about that. I do think you should keep this area up since it is nice to have and probably isn't any skin off your back. Later!

I would love to have the ability to put resources together on a site for the men. The unfortunate part about that is I have the technical skills of a wet mop! My time is controlled by a 3yr old and a 6-month pregnant pediatrician on call every 4th night until her due date.
My computer time is spent with emails and budgeting with online banking!

[PrincessFiona]

technical skills

Weeeeeell 8) NO technical skills required! ....we need ...brains of the operation here Really, I have no idea what types of things the male spouses need. We need someone to come up with the what and the articles to help them....the technical stuff...is the easy part

Hmm... what kind of articles would male medical spouses want to read? Here are some topics that come to mind (note: I have no insight on any of these topics, so that is why they would be useful for me):

1) Having kids during your wife's residency
2) Ways to find other stay at home dads
3) Creating a business from home
4) Things to do when your wife is on call
5) Male parenting

This is just what I thought of off the top of my head. I still think the underlying issue is that few men seek emotional support from the internet. Most men (including myself) are more task-oriented (e.g., how do I change my car's oil?). Anyway...

[PrincessFiona]

articles


What great article suggestions. We do have one male spouse who will be doing some writing for us....and I'll pass along these suggestions...

BUT...I'd love to hear what you have to say on these topics as well, Greg

Kris

Well, my thoughts on the topics I posed wouldn't be very interesting--I only have personal experience on #4! I can guess how some of the other one might work out, but it would only be a guess.

For what it´s worth, I´m really appreciative for whatever you all can provide. I´ve run a web forum for about 5 years now (shameless plug: http://www.damaged-planet.com -- for nerds and tech-junkies like me ...) and I´ve learned that there are two types of members: The teachers and the students...that´s a little less crass than givers and takers, right?

I may be able to wax eloquently about the hazards of overclocking a CPU or how to build a wiretap (no..I´d never do such a thing..me!? noooo), but I must admit that I have very little to offer in this forum...this Mr.MD thing is brand spankin´new to me and I have more questions than answers.

I recognize that many men follow the stereotype of not reaching out and tend to shut themselves in and deal with their problems internally. That doesn´t leave a large pool of those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves, eh?

I´m not afraid to ask for advice, and the single reason I registered at this website a few days ago over others? This very forum. For that sake alone I hope it stays up and it sees activity. I appreciate the perspectives that some of you ladies have and certainly like the idea of getting to know a chap that is in the same position I´m in, particularily if they aren´t a SAHD...that´s one more obstacle that I´m glad I have yet to tackle!

Thanks again

re

..........

[Momo]

Woo Hoo! Welcome aboard!!! Congrats on DW finishing up the fellowship!!! Look forward to your posting.

Our story is so horrible it would take forever to write about

...ohh you haven't been around much...there are many a horror story around here...and tons of support. Don't be a stranger to posting and sharing your experiences. Support...that's what we are all here for!