Any hubbies of walkaways?

[Working_Dad]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

In a quandry. Raised 5 young kids while wife went away to med school and residency. (She returned most weekends.) Been a tough life. I work 50 hours a week in a professional job. 6 months from the end of residency she announces she has outgrown me. Wants to walk away. Can't decide is I should get a $600 a hr lawyer or let her leave in peace. Any advicde?

[DCJenn]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

Hire the lawyer. I would.

Good luck

[MrsK]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

Wow, Working Dad. I'm so sorry.

You should probably consult with an attorney. No need to spend $600/hr. Most work for much less.

[Working_Dad]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

Looking like things might improve but it is a roller coaster. If we must part I would like to work out most of the details prior to the attorneys. I am seeing estimates of $30K-$40K or higher per party in attorney fees if there is a slug feast. What a waste.
I am convinced both always being exhausted is the root cause.

[Thirteen]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

These are definitely horror stories for me.
Before I found this board, this was all I had as far as advice, "to look forward to."

I hope Working Dad is okay...

[RELLA]

Re: Any hubbies of walkaways?

I think that a lot of people pursing a medical career become really intense with it. When they realize they can't come home and have the same stimulating conversations they have with the opposite sex at school, work, etc they become bored. I have always said you can't be a doctor AND have a family. I really believe that. I think this is happening to my son's father. Each time he comes home we have less and less to talk about besides the kids. Scary and sad. :huh:

[GrayMatterWife]

Working Dad: Get a lawyer. Today. You can get a very good divorce attorney for much less than $600/hr.

I am so sorry. That is awful--just awful. My heart breaks for you. And your kids.

If you are serious about both of you always being tired then getting more household help is MUCH cheaper than a divorce.

Been married to my ObGyn wife since 2nd year of med school. Been 15 years. Lots of ups and downs. It's not easy at first, but it gets better.

I sometimes felt as if she was gearing up for a walk off...I guess we have managed to get past it by me thanking her for her input (as unwelcomed as it might have seemed) and acting more eager to help out (even though I am exhausted and may have worked more hours). I'm the "man", so I take that to mean that I act with more resolve. After all, she is anchored to me as the pillar of strength for the whole family...hope that doesn't sound too 1940's...

"Mahwidge....Mahwidge is what bwings us togevver today...Mahwidge that bwessed event...that dweam wivvin a dweam..."

Not for the faint of heart...

RB

Nice to hear from someone who has experienced this

This is the first week of med school for my wife and the kids and I did as well as can be expected. It sounds like she will be gone for the week and home on the weekend. This discussion and the reality of her having an intense other life and how that will mesh with us is all present on my mind.

Thanks for the serious discussion.

William

I think that a lot of people pursing a medical career become really intense with it. When they realize they can't come home and have the same stimulating conversations they have with the opposite sex at school, work, etc they become bored. I have always said you can't be a doctor AND have a family. I really believe that. I think this is happening to my son's father. Each time he comes home we have less and less to talk about besides the kids. Scary and sad. :huh:

Yikes! I'm scared. I hope my DF doesn't find my conversation lacking when he comes back from work. Does anyone out there think that coming home and having different types of conversations would be a relief to the doc? I'm pretty concerned now about this.

[MarissaNicole]

Yikes! I'm scared. I hope my DF doesn't find my conversation lacking when he comes back from work. Does anyone out there think that coming home and having different types of conversations would be a relief to the doc? I'm pretty concerned now about this.

Personally DH like that we are in totally different fields - we often need a break from talking about what we talk about all day. And actually as a spouse you have the potential to be their biggest ally, teammate and cheerleader. Often times school and training is competitive and certain things cannot and should not be discussed with classmates and colleague - these are great things that they can bring home and confide in you. Having something to talk about is the least of my worries (having no time to talk is more probable!)

Thanks for replying to that. I have a friend who is married to an Air Force pilot. He's just as busy as med students/residents. She said something similar to me. Thanks again for the reassurance.