Daegan's second blood culture came back positive...same Staph. Ugh! So now they are adding another antibiotic...rifampin. Kris, don't tell Thomas or he'd probably fly down here and beat them senseless. This poor child has been on 4 abx now for this one freaking "easy" Staph (which shows appropriate sensitivity to all 4 abx with MIC<2). They stopped the gent Friday, and instead of just adding that back in for synergy, they picked yet another antibiotic! And his poor veins are shot and they are having trouble keeping an IV...and a PIC line is out b/c of the blood infection (thank goodness because it'd be just another source of infection I'm sure.) They even shaved a part of his head for an IV.

Good news is that he is back to nippling his feeds...he's taken the bottle last night and today. And he latched and breastfed for about 1 minute today! He has been weaned to 21% O2 (basically room air) but with low flow. He only had 1 brady/apnea yesterday...hopefully that can continue!

Once he clears the infection (I'm trying to stay positive...but I'm scared shitless he's gonna die...probably just normal mom-anxiety), he should be able to come home. He has to have 7-14d of abx after the negative blood culture (next culture is Tuesday) and no apnea/bradys/desats for a few days. That is assuming he doesn't get another infection or some other setback...ya know like an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection, or C.diff from all the abx, or thrush or something.

You can probably tell I'm not in a very positive mood. I'm having a bad day...I'm not just sad like I've been...today I'm pissy and grumpy and mad and depressed and I just want to quit...and if one more person tries to tell me all the bright sides to the situation I'm going to go postal! Can't a person just freakin' bitch and be mad and hate the situation...and that's it?!?! I just wanna hear, "yeah it sucks...this blows."

I can't do any less than I'm already doing...I've stopped worrying about the house, cleaning, cooking, laundry...I don't worry about any of it. I make time for me...I do crossword puzzles/sudoku puzzles, I read celebrity gossip, I get lunch with friends, we watched the Gators beat Kentucky at a friend's house...and I visit 'il duce' (one of Daegan's nicknames). I've started making a point to kangaroo him daily (thanks jlynnb)...so I'm pretty much doing what I can for him, me, Russ and the pups....but I wish I could take a vacation from me....go to a time when none of this was going on.


Ugh. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, or in a few days.....but right now, I just wanna bitch.....and chill the beer so I can have one.