Daegan continues to grow, change and amaze me everyday! It's kinda crazy to think that I am *almost* solely responsible for all of his growth and development (besides the little NICU stay). I now know where all the weight I'm losing is going! I'm almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm about a pound away. I'd like to get down about 15 pounds lower than my pre-preg weight though....I'm going to give myself plenty of time to do it. My original goal was pre-preg by 9 months after birth...and since I'm likely to hit that, I'm adjusting the goal to target weight by 1 year after birth....that's about 15 pounds in 7 months. I think that's very reasonable. My plan for reaching that goal: eat good foods, until just full....no overeating! and to exercise at least twice a week (likely to increase once I ACTUALLY exercise ). I think I can do it! Shorter term goal: down 8 pounds by Jazz Fest.

On the job/daycare front:
I'm still really struggling with this. We signed Daegan up for one preschool place...he's ~40th on the waiting list and they only take 14 a year each August! It's one of the better ones in the area....I'm hoping he'll get in at 2 yo. Of course in the meantime we have no care for him. There are a lot of daycares here....a lot of sucky ones....and a lot of long waiting lists! I'm trying to work the recommendations, but I don't know who to believe. Louisiana has 2 'classes'...class A is acceptable to me...class B allows corporal punishment and felons to work with the children! I have a friend who loves her daycare and it's a class B! I've haven't heard good things about it from other moms and I can't believe she likes it so much! It worries me. I guess this is the ultimate mom-worry....is my child safe? Just thinking about putting Daegan in someone else's care makes me very nauseated....sometimes I think I may need medication to get over myself and go to work. I think my feelings are a little over the top. I wish I could be more comfortable with it, but I'm not. I probably should try to 'practice' leaving Daegan with someone before I actually put him in daycare....it's hard enough for me to leave him with Russ so I can shower! One of the worst parts about this whole business is that I have to work full time for 2 months in order to get my license (a preceptorship)....after I get my license, I only plan to work 2-3 days a week. We don't need a lot of money....just some. And it would be best for me to keep my knowledge and skills current. I even called the board to see if I could do the preceptorship over 4 months and do it part time. No dice. I'm currently trying to petition my family to 'visit' a lot this summer such that they could watch Daegan for the full time stuff......I don't know if our finances will hold that long. Though, if I can't find a daycare to watch him, it won't matter anyway. I'm going to call more places when the weather eases up. (It caused a panic in the town. Closed all schools....I didn't think slushy rain was that big of a deal.) Sometimes I wonder why I had a child if I can't let him go to daycare....how am I going to deal with all the other worries that go along with being a parent.....but then I think, I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't have a healthy dose of worry. But what's a healthy dose??? And how do I get mine down to a healthy level? Is it just something that comes with time?

I wanted to find in-home child care....but no-one could come to our house with Guardian Tui....and the state is cracking down on childcare laws and many people aren't continuing to watch the little ones in their homes. At least Russ and I agreed to wait until closer to the end of RSV season...

Ugh, the whole discussion makes me sick to my stomach.

Some cutie pie pics to make me feel better!









Oh and we still have our Christmas lights up outside! :!