My posting has been sporadic these last few days.....it's because I've been home more. Why? Because I've had to pick Daegan up early from the daycare for biting. I know that biting is bad, and I know the health risks associated when he draws blood....but come on people!!! Why the F can't you watch him???? Lately it's ALWAYS been during a fight over a toy. And it's been happening every other day. Umm.....I just don't get it. He has FINALLY started to try to bite at home.....when he does it at home, he leans in towards my arm/leg/whatever and he opens wide and watches me.....it just looks sooo much like an attention getting behavior here at home. I totallly have plenty of time to say "no bite" and back away. Clearly the other 2yos can't be expected to do that, but it's so obvious what triggers it. I'm sure I sound like one of those "Not my kid" parents....but everyone I've talked to about this issue IRL has said the EXACT same thing...."Aren't they watching him??" Even the director of the daycare has said that to the teachers.....and when she reviews the tapes of the room, she says he fights over a toy and then bites....and that the teacher "just can't get there in time." But I've waked in the room to pick him up before and there has been a little girl red-faced screaming/crying and a little boy climbing on a table and she's just trying to get another one to put on her shoes....cause that's clearly the most important thing going on at the time....

Anyway, this last time I had to pick him up early the director gave me the name and number of a women who used to work at the daycare, but now stays home with her kids and she has 2 kids she keeps for homecare. Daegan and I met with her and she seems nice. Of course Daegan caught his finger in her elliptical machine and took a nice chunk of skin off the inside of his finger. Her two kids are school aged and the others are a 3yo who is always there and a 4yo who is intermittently there. I'm glad my mom and dad get here today and can watch him for a week....we are all (mom, dad, me, Russ and Daegan) going to try to meet her on Saturday so everyone can help me decide.

Homecare is ultimately what I want for Daegan......but I didn't want it to happen this way.....I wanted it to be on my terms....not because we were kicked out of daycare. I guess I've always known he has higher needs than a daycare setting can provide....but I don't want to think it's my fault ya know? I used to get a lot of flack in the beginning because he was so clingy (~1yo) and especially from this one mom (mean bitch)....anyway, now her kid cries everyday when she drops him off (2yo). IMO a 1yo still crying is normal....but a 2yo who regressed? I suppose it's still normal, but I just want to say HA! Ugh. I'm so frustrated with this whole situation......and I have been for a LONG time.....

I just wish I didn't feel like I was a sucky mom and that's why this is falling down like this....





In a happier note, I hear the little snapper's heartbeat yesterday for the first time. SUCH A WONDERFUL SOUND!!!!! My heart melted and grew.