Long distance relationship with a fourth year medical student-thoughts appreciated

[Patty1220]

Hi all,
So my boyfriend and I have gotten back together after a rough couple months third year. What I have dreaded for so long has come true and he has chosen to go into surgery. Of course I read all the horror stories online and it just makes me so sad that the lifestyle can be so brutal. Not to mention that right now, we are in a long distance relationship going on two years where he now is working long hours on a surgery rotation and can barely send me more than a few text messages a day sometimes. Usually we have a pretty strong phone relationship whether it be talking or texting, and we see each other once a month. I love him so much and yet feel so lonely in this relationship. I am wondering, when he is a resident and, we are in the same place if all goes according to plan, if this will get the slightest bit easier. There are days I just feel so much depression and feel like I cant even go to work because my life is not at all what I had hoped it would be. But I love this man beyond everything, and not being with him through our breakup was even worse. Any thoughts, advice, or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

[Curegirl]

Hi Patty, my SO isn't a surgical resident so I can't really speak for those with long residency programs. But I can say that whatever field he or she goes into, the partner has to be strong and independent. It's beyond difficult sometimes, not having a typical relationship and yes, there will be many who judge but whatever time you have together, cherish it, whether it's one random text or a day off together. I thought I was pretty prepared to date someone in training, but life throws curve balls whenever it feels like it sometimes. Make sure you have your own life, with hobbies and friends and it'll make things a whole lot easier. There are many of us here who are in or have been in long distance relationships and the general consensus seems to be that despite the obvious drawbacks, an LDR is an opportunity to strengthen and test partnerships. It sucks, I know, but in the long run, it could work out to be a good thing.

Hi Patty!

I just came across your post and am in the same boat as you, well sort of. I feel the same thing as you. My husband is in his third year and he loves surgery and will probably pursue it. He lives an hour and a half away but it feels we are in a long distance relationship. How has life been for you now that your SO is a resident?