Nothing much is going on these days... My brother and his wife mailed us two huge boxes! They must have spent a fortune in shipping- I told them just to send it with my parents when they come to visit in January, but my sister in law does "Christmas Big" so... It's kind of fun. I haven't opened the boxes at all. I have tried to keep the kids from climbing on them, sitting on them, jumping off of them, etc., etc...

Mac is home a lot now. He is on SICU and his schedule is pretty light. It's very nice. Tomorrow he works late, but over the past 2 weeks, he has been home before 7 every night, and he is often home before 3! This is truly amazing. The kids are used to his presence here (more than I am!). It's been fun, but it won't last... That's ok. We have 5 days completely off (he doesn't even have to take leave!) beginning on Saturday, and then I'm sure I'll be ready for him to get back to the hospital!

I'm so glad we don't have to travel this year. I'm just not feeling it. I don't want the plane ride, the kids getting sick, the drama at my parent's house... But I am sad for every holiday that passes without us seeing my grandparents. They are so special. They live right next to my parents (they actually built their house attached to my parents!) so when we visit, we get to see them a lot. They have both had some health problems the past year-- they are, after all, 88 and 86 respectively... But they delight in life, and it's really wonderful to be with them. But, this year we couldn't plan a big trip, and I have peace with that! We'll be out to visit in the spring, and hopefully all will be well then.

Other than this... Let's see. I have the beginnings of my SAD settling in-- starting with insomnia. I'm trying to take 1 pill (half dose) of Tylenol PM to see if that helps. This insomnia has come on fast-- I had no trouble sleeping at all for several months. And then, all of a sudden... Now that I'm exercising, hopefully my body will shut down easier, but that hasn't worked in the past... I am trying to be proactive and fight this thing. I dread February. It is the worst month. I know most people hate February. That's why they decided to make it shorter, right? Because March 1 is sooooo much better than February 29 (or 30) would have been. March-- you're leaving behind the dead grass and the depressing time of winter and you're looking for bulbs to come out and new buds on trees...

But I have other reasons to dread February. First, it's my birthday month. My birthday was always such a disappointment as a kid, and I really am a total grouch now. Plus, Mac is useless for birthdays- he doesn't really like them either. So if I'm going to have a cake, I have to arrange for it. The kids can't really do that yet, but they like to party, so I generally bake a cake they will like. It is just so odd. Last year we didn't even celebrate my birthday at all, because I refused... Which leads me to the 2nd reason I don't like February. That is because last year, in early February, I had a miscarriage. It was terrible. First, it was a pregnancy we weren't planning, but then of course we fell in love with the idea. And then the miscarriage. I hadn't told anyone except Mac, and so the kids still have no idea as to why I just canceled my birthday (their party) last year... Another reason I dislike February is because my first miscarriage, between the twins and Luke, didn't happen in February, but the due date was February 6. So I was looking forward to having a baby to bring me out of the winter blues. That was back in the days when I thought miscarriages happened to other women-- not me...

So, a bit heavy perhaps and not very Christmassy, but oh well...

A final reason why I don't like February: After Mac and I had been dating for almost 2 years, I thought it was high time he propose. Of course, he should do it in February. But I guess he had other plans (like finishing his college degree before proposing-- what an archaic notion). Anyway, so there I was wondering what he was going to do. I had already been clued in to the fact that gift-giving was not his forte, but he got points for trying. I did make it clear in January that I am not the type of girl to appreciate "double gifts"-- since my birthday is the 11th, and Valentine's is the 14th, I actually told him that it was his job to make sure that each day was properly recognized! (As in, no dual gifts!) So, what happened? Well, on my birthday, he gave me a teddy bear, that had a sash on it saying something about Valentine's day. And it had a card-tag stuck in its ear that he hadn't even bothered to sign. I totally lost it. "I can't believe you got me a teddy bear-- what am I, five? I don't even like stuffed things, and this? You didn't even sign the dumb card. This was an afterthought-- wasn't it. Like you were at Walmart shopping for something else entirely, and then as you were checking out you saw this bear and thought that would be a great gift-- and hey it's for Valentine's and Birthday!" Ha ha ha... I was mad, but I nailed it. That's pretty much exactly what he did! We can laugh about it now, but back then. Whoa.... He got mad. He called me ungrateful, etc., etc. I swear we almost broke up. This was one of our hugest fights!!! Whatever.

This year I want a purse. A nice one. I am going to photograph 3 options at the Navy Exchange, and he can "surprise me". The purse will cost no less than $150 but no more than $200. I am reasonable after all! And then I'm getting a real haircut. And watch out-- I may just get highlights, too. Happy Birthday Me!