Big News here!

First off, I got hit with 2 NSF charges. It's my fault, but rrrrrrrr. Drives me nuts. I never screw up like this. Holidays.... Basically, we recently switched banks, but the AmEx and the Power company kept the old bank's records and info as the default. I didn't even think to check. Today I quickly deleted the old bank from all pending charges. So far it's costing $40. Hopefully that will be it, but I have my doubts. So stupid of me.

Second, we bought new couches. They are huge, and I had to help Mac get them into the house through the sliding glass door in the back. I even had to *buy* one by myself at costco, which required me getting several people to help. I was thankful for our huge tanker Suburban at that point. We thought they'd let us leave the couch there at Costco for Mac to deal with after work, but no.... Apparently that was what the shift the previous day did, but not my day. So I wasted all of the preschool hours folding seats and rearranging strollers so the couch could fit in the Suburban.

Third, Kate is at an outdoor ed thing for a couple of days. It's sort of like a 6th grade camping trip! I didn't even consider being a volunteer for this. One parent or teacher, in a bunk bed, with 19 Sixth graders. No thank you. Even if Mac could get the days off, which he actually could have, I wasn't going there!!! Anyway, she left after a fun weekend involving her basketball game, which I had to take her to, and she whined the whole time there and back. She is the one who wanted to do basketball. Again.

*Big SIGH*

Then, we went to the mall so that she could meet up with her friends. We went there a bit early, ate at Red Robin, and then we went home and she stayed on. She was super happy, because she is super happy when things go her way.

Sunday things did not go her way. She had to do some really basic chores, and she just wouldn't cooperate. She was watching a DVD in her room, without permission, which is a big No-No... I don't let the kids watch TV until they have done all their chores AND until I've given permission. So, there she was, too "busy" to do her chores. (She made a tent-fortress out of her bunk bed, and sat in the enclosed area with Mac's laptop. When I knocked on her door, it took her about 4 minutes to open up. I was *steaming* by then. It does not take a genius to figure out what she was up to...) So I took away the DVD and took it back to Blockbuster. She got really mad, started screaming, being her sassy self. Huge fight. Yelling. Screaming... Stress.

I have decided there really is no "effective" way to manage her. I can't get her to desire to get along. I can't get her to want to manage her time. She is like a 110-pound 3-year-old. It is all about her. So now I have to, every Saturday, sit on her until she does her chores. She is grounded for 2 weeks starting when she gets back from her camping trip. Allowance does not motivate her. Nor does the computer, telephone, internet, or plain simple desire to get along. She is such a complete brat, unless she is getting her way. Then she is very sweet. Going through her room I found papers that were marked down 10% because she turned them in late. I found Manga drawings all over her math notes. I found a study guide to a review test for math that clearly hadn't been worked on or looked at. We do so much checking up on her and emailing teachers. But if she won't do even basic things, I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating to deal with someone who truly, honestly, just does not care. She only wants to read her books, draw her Manga cartoons, write her song lyrics, and hole up in her room away from everyone else.

I have also come to the conclusion that the "strong-willed-kids-are-the-ones-who-will-resist-peer-pressure" argument most likely doesn't apply to her. If anything she seems to be extra impressed by her friends and their parents who don't give a crap but give their kids loads of crap. She seems to think that it's much better to be completely left alone (eating alone, in the room all day, on the internet endlessley) with loads of crap to entertain her (ipods, Wii, personal laptops) and no responsibilities (no chores, no bedtimes, no need to talk to parents) than her current lot in life. So she has a massive chip on her shoulder. We are depriving her, you see, because we give a crap. So frustrating. I hate other parents. It would be so much easier if her peer's parents made their kids do something. If they had to do even simple chores. If they had to earn money towards these outrageous things they buy. I am not even exaggerating here- one time I let Kate go to the mall with her friends, and each of the 4 girls' moms had given their kids $100 spending cash. Kate had whatever she had with her. She has plenty of opportunity to earn money around here. But I'll be damned if I give her money for nothing.



So she left on a decidedly bad note.

Meanwhile, the twins have been great. Steven is a bit too OCD at times, but I understand him at least. Luke has been thriving under Mac's current schedule, where he gets home early enough to play with the kids on a very regular basis. (This changes in 6 days when Mac starts a new rotation, but Luke doesn't know that yet...)

Finally, the last piece of "Big News":

I have solidified my position (in my mind anyhow ) as the queen of unplanned pregnancies. That's right. I am currently pregnant- only about 5 weeks along. We were very pleased with our plan to *not* try to get pregnant until Mac was well into the 2nd year of residency. However, my dear husband is not a fan of birth control, and I can't have an IUD, and he didn't want to get snipped quite yet, so... we were using, drumroll please, the "rhythm" method. Basically, I wouldn't let him touch me during a certain time of the month. And I was so freaked about getting pregnant, that I really stuck to my restrictions. So this pregnancy happened well outside our "window" of "TTC", but that's biology, kids. And that's why the "rhythm" method is not very successful as a birth control method.

Anyway, yes I'm a bit conflicted over the news. Mostly I am worried about miscarriage. I am much more worried about miscarriage than I am about having another person in the household an the incredible chaos that would bring. I just don't know if I can make it though another miscarriage without a complete breakdown. So I will be a wreck, trying to keep myself from getting excited, and trying to keep my kids unaware, until I hear the heartbeat. I hope and pray that I will hear the heartbeat.

(And, selfishly, I hope and pray that there is only one heartbeat! )

Good times...

So my goals now are to keep going to the gym (kind of ironic that I debated for MONTHS before joining b/c I was worried we may decide to try to get pregnant, and then I join at approximately the same time I actually conceived... Brilliant), to get our finances in control, and to just make it through the next 10 weeks or so without any complications...

And also to get those Christmas pictures up and posted here.