I decided to start this post out with a "stupid things that people say"/NOT HELPFUL section ....because for some reason, close family/friends that we tell about the diagnosis seem to be all to free with their horror stories/comments.

So...introducing my NOT HELPFULlist:

1. After relaying the news to a close family friend, she launched into the story of her brother who died 7 years ago from...a...lymphoma...of course. "Yes, it was terrible...he just had a small spot on his tonsil...they tried everything...it was just so aggressive...within 10 months, he was dead" [yikes] "At the end it went so fast that you could literally see the tumor progression...but I will spare you the details".

Thanks, hon...you could have spared me your whole damned story!

2. My uncle was diagnosed with an inoperable astrocytoma a year ago...and since then, they've gone through a lot. I regret that I've had little contact with her since then, but she is the kind of person that if you call her, you literally can be on the phone for up to 7 or 8 hours...you CANT get off of the phone with her...and she becomes a serial caller. Anyway, after hearing about the diagnosis, she called me to tell me about how 'horrible' chemotherapy is. "Bruce's skin fell off in places, he had such bad diarrhea that he couldn't go anywhere, he was so miserable that we thought the chemo would kill him."

Wow...and when I stopped taking her calls after that little refreshing bit of news, she promplty emailed my mother to let her know that it was obvious that I didn't want to talk to her, but that she would continue to "love me" anyway. Must people be so....neurotic?

3. During my first chemotherapy, I was offered Adavan by the nurse as a part of what they offer to all patients, I guess....I wasn't more nervous than normal....I politely refused reminding her that Adavan is a category D and that I didn't want to take any anti-nausea or anti-anxiety meds etc that were C or D if I could avoid it in any way.

"Hon, you realize the chemo drugs are like...category Z, right?" Gee, no..I didn't realize that. Rolling Eyes So...again, I just politely said that I still wanted to try and limit the amount of toxic substances since I'm trying to give the baby every possible chance.

At the end of the day, I'm surprised by the people here that I thought were my friends who aren't really...and by those who have crawled out of the woodwork that I barely know...to help in any way that they can.

A friend from my old neighborhood (for whom I've done numberous childcare and other favors through the last few years) called once when I wasn't here and told my mom for me to call her if I needed anything because she "didn't want to bother me"...I called once, but she didn't return my call.

None of dh's colleagues with whom we have had regular social contacts for the last several years have made an attempt to get in touch with me. It's so weird. We went out to dinner together, were walking buddies in the summer, etc...and now they are suddenly silent.

My 11 year old's first grade teacher has cooked me three meals, done my laundry and watched my children once [yikes] and called me yesterday to say that she and I will go out this week for coffee one day so that I won't be alone. So I guess I can forgive her for telling me about her daughter's husband who recently died of cancer. [Roll Eyes] Her kindness is just overwhelming to me though and I have trouble accepting it...because I don't know her very well...at the same time, I'm so grateful that it makes me want to cry.

Funny story...after she found out about my diagnosis from another teacher at the school, she called me and we went for coffee....where she promptly told me that if I weren't pregnant right now, she'd give me some of her marijuana to help me relax. [yikes] That sure explains a lot about my son's first grade year! [rotfl]

Other than my favorite stupid people stories...things are going ok. I have recovered from the chemo tiredness...now the kids are all just waiting for my hair to fall out. Laughing Every day they examine my head: "Mommy, I think there is less hair right here...and your scalp looks white!" They took a vote on wigs and decided that they want me to have a pink, purple, yellow and green wig....I threatened my 11 year old that I would be buying a multi-colored wig and then would be showing up to have lunch with him. He started screaming "NOOOOOO!".

My breathing is much easier now...I guess the tumor is shrinking. I developed a really annoying 'plural rub' that has come and gone since about 24 hours after the CHOP-Rituxan. I have no signs of Tumor lysis syndrome, which was initially a concern...just an annoying rub and a little pleural pain, which the doc says is "good news"...from the tumor dying and the irritiation on the tissues.