I own 6 bras...and this morning when I was trying to get ready for my u/sound appointment, I couldn't find a single ONE of them. It's true...I was 15 minutes late for my appoinment because I couldn't find a bra...anywhere. This is one of the results of having dh do most of the laundry. I am not complaining of course, but it is hard to feel so out of control and this morning's bra search nearly did me in. Very Happy I finally had to call him and ask "Is there a laundry basket laying around her that I don't know about?"

Apparently, he'd been folding some clothes down in our finished basement while watching tv and that...is where all of the bras were. Crack me UP. In any case, I wasn't sure that they were even going to see me this morning because I was so late...but they were really cheerful about it. "What held you up this morning?" the tech asked. (I'm not usually late!). "ummmm....my 2 year old". What was I going to say? I couldn't find a bra? Mr. Green


I have had the chance to spend some time with my OB....she invited me over and I brought breakfast and some books...and...we've decided to just 'hang out' for a couple of times a week until she makes it back to work. So...that is all ironed out.

What isn't completely 'working' in my life are all of the appointments and various 'opinions' about baby/the pregnancy etc.

I went in Monday for biophysical profile and my AFI was back down to 7.9 (in the 2.5 percentile)....then I had a level II u/sound on Tuesday and it showed my AFI at 5.1 Shocked . When I kind of gasped over it, she did it again and it was 6.1 (better but still in the 1st percentile overall). So, the perinatologist came in...and basically told me that we weren't going to bother to look at the thin area on the uterus (AGAIN) and...that though the AFI was concerning, he wasn't too worried.

I asked if I needed to limit my activity again (last time, when my AFI was 6.9, I was admitted to the hospital, given steroid injectinos for baby's lungs and then later was put on modified bedrest). Basically, the answer was that I could just go about my life.

HUH??????

He said "we'll just watch it and if it sinks below 5 then you'll be delivered".

That was Tuesday. Today (Thursday) I went in for an AFI/biophysical and my AFI was ~11

HUH?????

I asked the tech about it....I explained that every time I came I had wildly ranging AFI's....she told me that many people don't turn on the doppler to check for the presence of umbilical cord and that you aren't supposed to measure umbilical cord...BUT...she DID turn on the doppler. That means that my amniotic fluid nearly doubled in a matter of days again? So she said that it was sometimes 'technician dependent'.

Then...what is the POINT of doing them if they are so inaccurate?

She suggested that maybe I had been drinking more or had been dehydrated on Tuesday. That doesn't explain it in my eyes...because the numbers have been up and down for weeks now and I'm not really changing my overall hydration status.

I feel....ticked off. I'm really tired of this up and down. I told my husband today that I won't be returning for any more u/sounds etc until it's time to have baby in 2 1/2-3 weeks. WHY? What IF my AFI measures below 5...do they honestly think I'd let them take the baby now before 34 weeks? Of course not...because I realize that the next day (and with a diff. tech) my AFI could be back up again.

What frustrates me the most is that each time something has come up slightly abnormal, I've been made to believe that something is 'really wrong'...hence the steroid injections to mature baby's lungs at 28 weeks, the hospitalization, the numerous u/sounds and opinions, etc etc. The result is that I have actually felt sort of ...tortured emotionally....for really no good reason.

When I went to see the new doc, my blood pressure was 130/80. That, honestly, is not all THAT high for me.....I'm usually 110-120/60-80 depending....so it didn't freak me out at all. However, I ended up having to have a blood draw and do a 24 hour urine test....it was just 130/80 ONE time...and the next day it was 115/65, but I was still doing the 24 hour urine. Rolling Eyes I knew from the very beginning it would be normal.

Quite frankly, I'm beginning to feel a little put out by this whole thing. I need some peace, calm and normalcy before delivering this baby and starting radiation. I just...do! I don't want to go running to u/sound 2-3 times a week to get 2-3 very different results that at the end of the day have NO meaning or consequence....it is making me insane.

DH, in his paternalistic "I am the doctor" voice told me I'll do exactly what my doctor's tell me to. That, just fyi, is not the way to deal with me. Embarassed I recognize his frustration and he feels as upset/frustrated as I do. He always calls me post-u/sound "Well, what was it? (the AFI)" I give him the number and if it's low, he says "what does that mean?" My response lately has been "who knows? Probably nothing" which makes him irate. "What do you MEAN you DONT KNOW"..."Don't tell me something without knowing what it MEANS". Ummmm, OK...guess what...I feel the exact same way! Perhaps they touched on AFI when YOU were in medical school, dear...or...maybe you could do some of your OWN research Rolling Eyes Geesh...don't kill the messenger here!

So....I guess it's just been one of those days here. Hopefully, the sun will come out this afternoon and we'll be able to go out in the backyard and play or go fishing/feed the ducks so I can pull myself out of this funk.