9am radiation

drive home and get my mom's stuff into the car

9.45am drove mom to hospital to say good-bye to Zoe

drove to bank while she was in the nicu

10.45 headed over to the airport to drop off my mother

11.15am drove to Alex's school to sign him up for KidStop and to Andrew's school to drop off an asisgnment. He was sick with diarrhea today and it had to be turned in today.

11.30am drove to feed Zoe at 12...took Aidan with me to the NICU....a 2 year old in the NICU...need I say more?

12.30pm went for coffee with Aidan and Thomas

1pm drove home
2.15pm got gas and drove to fee Zoe at 3. Three pm feeding was a disaster. Aidan tore his socks off and threw them somewhere (we never recovered them) and then screamed at the top of his lungs in the NICU several times "I hate you mommy" "I've HAD it" "You Stupidhead"...any nurse that tried to help me out was met with similar comments. To say that I was mortified is an understatement. We didn't even manage to finish the feeding. I then took him over to the pedi play area...not because he deserved it, but because my head was pounding and I'm sick of driving.

3.50pmdrove to KidStop to pick up Alex...who "hated" it and said "I hate my life"...because all he did was sit around on the playground and wait for me to pick him up. (I saw him playing though Wink ) Ahhhh, mommy guilt. We waited in the car for about 15 minutes and then I picked up Amana from play practice.

4.30pm...slumped down onto the computer at home....with a cough, sore throat and headache....oh NO! Rolling Eyes

5.30pm....still trying to post after multiple phone call interruptions....and am now getting ready to leave for the 6pm End of the year girl scout picnic.

Thomas will feed Zoe at 6pm, we'll skip the 9pm and...I'll go to the midnight feeding (and wear a mask to make sure that she doesn't get sick).

I'm beat!

thud

I have been looking into german aupairs and *might* have found someone willing to work June-August...it's super expensive...but dh is willing to do anything at this point.

I was going to send Aidan to a friend who does childcare for a few hours today, but she had the stomach virus like Andrew....she called and said she could take Aidan tomorrow.

Edited to add: Today when I came in to see Zoe, they informed me that one of the nurses had weighed her washcloth after she "took" a 60ml feed and they figured out that she had literally spit out more than 30ml of her feeding! Shocked I've known this for awhile though and have never understood why we would keep feeding her when the milk is dribbling down her chin/face/onto the washcloth just for the sake of saying that we "did it".

She went to the doc and he increased the caloried content again and reduced the amount.

No wonder I'm losing my marbles.