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But on to ....the present:
We had a really wonderful last month of the summer! The kids and I started going on little mini-field trips to break up the monotony of the day-to-day stuff and visited parks, a zoo and a couple of different MN beaches. It was so much fun to just get us back out and doing things!
For the two weeks before school started, we had friends of ours visiting from the UK with their 2 children. That made 4 adults and 7 kids!!! We went to a jellystone park for a week and all stayed in a cabin and had the most wonderful national lampoons family vacation! Highlights included being put up at a cabin on a construction zone and having to be moved, me burning my hand in the fire making s'mores, wrecking the driver's side door of my van, Thomas losing a couple of teeth and needing a dental implant :yikes: , the antics of our kids...you name it...if it could go wrong, it did...but it was so much fun!
Before they left for home, they were already online planning their next trip over here. We're hoping to do it again next year (without some of the excitement though!)!
The kids started school last week and I was both sad to see them go and relieved to start getting back into a schedule. Andrew (11 1/2) has had to get used to changing classes now in 6th grade, but seems to finally be relaxing a little. He tried out for the play and got a part and so he's just pretty much hit the ground running as he has school until 3.30 and then play practice unti 5.30...then it's boy scouts, etc....
Amanda (10) is having the best school year start that she's ever had. She has Andrew's teacher from last year (who I contend is the best teacher I've ever met ... no kidding!) I was anxious about her starting middle school, but she is so relaxed now and is trying so hard. Every day after school now she does her homework immediately and has me sign everything. She lays her clothes out for school at night and has her bag/gym clothes etc all at the door. Her teacher called us to tell us how organized she was and dh couldn't help but say "are you sure you dialed the right number...this is Amanda's dad" :laughing: . Things have really improved between Amanda and I. We have so many good talks now and I find that our relationship is so much more relaxed than it was last year. We've done a lot of talking about the effect of my illness on our family and on our relationship and I am now able to look back and see that a lot of her behavioral issues were simply how she was coping with the stress.
Alex is off to a good start as well, though he'd much rather sleep in than go to school. I can't blame him...I'd much rather sleep in too! Second grade doesn't have the same fanfare about it that middle school does, so I'm working on some ways to make Alex's days more *fun*.
I've decided to bite the bullet and do a trial run of the german preschool for Aidan that is 1.5 hours away. I'm done with the complaining so I'm just going to head on out and see if I can manage it. I think it's great that they'll give us a trial run to see how things go before making me commit to it.
Zoe is growing and seems to always be smiling. Here is my new favorite picture of her (with Alex). She looks big in the picture, but in real life she is actually small. Most people are very surprised when I tell them she is nearly 5 months old...she looks to be about 2 months old and is still wearing size 0-3 months (and some of her newborn clothes).
I can't believe how much she is growing/changing. She is really developing a little personality of her own. Most of the time, she is very content/happy...but if she gets upset for just a second, she screams hysterically. 
I'm doing pretty good....I'm not sure when my next scan is simply because we haven't scheduled it yet and aren't sure when they wanted us to do it...so dh is going to call and ask. At this point, I have decided to just not worry about it anymore. There is nothing that I can do to change things. It would be highly unlikely if I had some kind of malignancy and if I do...then I'll deal with it at that time.
My symptoms are no better...but not really worse than they were a couple of weeks ago. I did experience a weight loss while on vacation that kind of freaked us out a little. I had been dieting and doing well and then hit a plateu....I ended up giving up and gained several pounds back before my weight stabilized at about a 10 or 11 pound loss. I got so frustrated that I gave up and just really ate like a...hooniac for the last month....when I stepped on the scale, I had actually dropped 6 pounds. I hit a new low. Apparently, the burger king, mcdonalds, snickers, coca cola diet worked for me on vacation. At first, I really was worried about the weight loss, but then I decided to embrace it and *try* to keep losing weight. The result? Gained a pound. I've been walking 2 hours a day for the last 5 days.
See...dieting doesn't work. When I eat like a pig...and I really, really enjoyed my vacation with food and wine...I lose weight. When I try to lose weight, I gain weight. Go...figure...!
I had planned on taking a night class this semester in general chemistry but ended up not enrolling when I realized that it conflicted with my daughter's extracurricular activities schedule. I'll be back in school next Fall at the lastest. I'm going to retake my old science classes and maybe some psych classes and just see where it takes me.
I'm done agonizing over how to balance motherhood/career or feeling guilty. I'm not sure where my path will lead me, but I'm just going to jump on board and start heading in a new direction.
Life is good.