My mil comes today and I should be cleaning...but...I'm not :> Yesterday, I was uploading our halloween pics and some pics for an article I worked on and then the internet stopped working on my laptop. I went and tried to get online using DH's computer and it was down too. DH and I thought that I'd somehow done something to the network. We put a call into our cable provider and they told us that no one else had a computer outage and that they could do a service call in 9 days at the earliest.

We pretty much determined that we would be without internet while mil was here....and then last night we received a phone call that we had indeed been part of a shortage and that our internet was working and our service call was cancelled.

At least I was redeemed! DH was sure that my digital camera was the culprit! Now I feel the need to check up on the website/my emails instead of getting ready for the impending visit.

I wish I could say that every moment of yesterday and today I have felt like Zen woman about my mil coming, but it's not true. I'm trying to be positive and I do want the trip to be eventless. I want us all to get along and I'm going to do my best to keep things running smoothly. I can't help but still feel a bit resentful that dh chose to have her come right now .... but I'm letting it go for the sake of my marriage at this point.

The house is approaching fairly clean status (but I am going to grumble about the fact that dh read AND went to TJMax/Home Depot while I cleaned!). I asked him to clean up his office where she will be sleeping and he shuffled some books around and vacummed the obvious areas....there is still dust everywhere, the shelves are still disorganized and the room has to be revacummed. Sometimes I feel like he tries to sabotage me with his mom. Ultimately, even though it is his office, he knows that his mom thinks that every room in the house is my job to clean thoroughly daily (and maybe it is, but hey...FIRE me :> )...I know that he knows how to clean...he just doesn't do it anymore.

He put away some towels and blankets to *help* and then just shoved/rolled them into the cupboards. He told me he'd just tell his mom that he did it...but really...his mom will be appalled that he had to do anything at all and it will fall back on me again.

Things have kind of spiraled out of control a little with my neighbor again. There was a book fair on Friday at the school and my neighbor attended with her daughter after their conference. A friend of mine (C) was there. C's daughter is Amanda's best friend right now. C was running the book fair and was approached by my crazy neighbor, who began complaining that they had to move again because of us and were putting their house on the market (but not to tell me because I might get hysterical and freak out)...umm, yes, hysterical with joy! She proceeded to badmouth me and Amanda (and my other children/family) for a long time to anyone and everyone. C told me that she excused herself twice and left the room and came back only to find that the conversations were still going on and then to be included again each time she came back. She said that my crazy neighbor basically used this school-sponsored event taking place IN the school to belittle us all....and many, many people heard it or took part in it. So she does drive-by intimacy and then drive-by slander? I'm getting ready to do a drive-by roll her in cement and toss her into the pond!

Now, common sense to me would dictate that people would realize that she's a nutjob, but even my friend, C found herself being taken in. Apparently, crazy neighbor confessed that this summer when our babysitter had called the police that she has sworn at my children (in front of the police) and had sworn when talking to the police officers. She said they had threatened to arrest her. She complained that because she was on her own property that she had the right to say whatever she wanted. My friend, C, kind of agreed with her.


I pointed out that she was swearing at CHILDREN and POLICE OFFICERS.

"yah, but come on...she's a mom of 5. Where is the threat? Arresting her?"

"Kris, she said that she had to have another neighbor come over to be her witness whenever you guys went out and left the babysitter"

"Um, C, that neighbor sat and drank with her on her porch and told our children we didn't love them WITH her"

"oh"

But I felt like she didn't believe me. Of course she doesn't...it all sounds too crazy. And frankly, crazy neighbor is entertaining and plays the victime quite well.

Holy shykees (as Alex would say!)

I feel discouraged about it. Amanda practically begged me to please give her a "normal childhood" when we were talking about it all the other night. Her teacher told me that she won't go to the bathroom or in the hallway by herself because she's afraid of being teased. At home, she can't go in our backyard or out front out of fear of the damned neighbor.....It's outrageous.

I can't belive that my daughter is reliving parts of my junior high experience and...that I am reliving my own junior high experience with her mother. I'm repeating many of the same mistakes as well...just trying to be nice...glossing it over...hoping it will go away.

I realize now that this simply can't end peacefully.....

This woman is not going to be able to sell her house easily. When she put it on the market recently, it was for well below market value....and she really had not takers. The deocrating is scarey, the house is cluttered and she has laminate wood floors installed next to the original hardwood floors that are not exaclty the same color...it looks bad. Recently, she has also complained to me that having her house on the market was torture as well.

To top it off, her house has already been on the market 4 times in the last 2 years because of all of her little neighborhood problems and issues. She still has the lockbox on her door from the last attempt because after she threatened to take legal action against the realtor for letting her cat in (and the subsequent pooping on her floor) they are afraid of her. WHO is going to even want to sell her house?

DH isn't really willing to consider putting our house on the market this Spring. He's given lip service to the idea, but we just used his bonus to install a fireplace in our lower level family/media room.....and I have no doubt at all that he would balk at any real suggestion of us leaving. With the market what it is, we wouldn't even get what we paid for it right now. My real vote would be to move closer to the Twin Cities on a few acres.....but since my 'dream' to move to this house in this neighborhood turned out to be an utter nightmare, I'm seriously afraid to make any more changes. What if my dream of being closer to the cities and having Alex, Aidan and Zoe go to the german immersion school would spell utter disaster for us instead of being something good.

Keeping the status quo might not be good, but at least I know what kind of bad I'm up against. Have I resigned myself to not embracing any more change? Maybe. I seriously was so happy when we bought this house. Thomas and I picked it out together....we made interior choices together...it is OUR house....but even if Crazy Neighbor moves now, can we ever settle in here?

DH can. His basic advice for this whole situation is: ignore it.

I guess (coming full circle here) it will also be a good thing with mil here. Regardless of my feelings about her regarding cleaning etc (and her feelings about me on this issue) I know that she is fiercly loyal when it comes to family and that she will stand behind us all. If she saw my crazy neighbor do something in the yard, she'd probably walk over and slap her or something.

Ahhhh, as the stomach churns................


kris